Rugger Wives
by xtiansugar
Summary: AU. No Aliens, Jack's not immortal and Torchwood, what's Torchwood? Ianto is a local hero, Jack's a WAG and Rhys is a Hooker, but not in that way, get your minds out of the gutter!
1. Prologue

Ex US Navy Captain, Jack Harkness checked his reflection in the hall mirror. He ran his fingers nervously through his dark locks, subconsciously checking for grey hairs. He sighed. He wasn't a vain man by any definition of the word but just lately he had been increasingly conscious of his advancing years. Truth was, having a much younger lover had been an incredible ego boost at first but now, well let's just say Jack had even half considered plastic surgery. He shook his head. "Nah" he spoke out loud addressing his reflection with the patented Harkness grin, "Why mess with this level of perfection." Picking up a bottle of wine from the hall stand, he patted his jeans pockets to check he had his house keys before stepping out the front door and banging it closed behind him. He glanced longingly at his pride and joy, sitting in the driveway all forlorn and begging to be driven. "Sorry, old girl" he said, stroking the 1979 Pontiac Trans am lovingly, "not tonight, I'm afraid." Not even Jack Harkness, a man who never walked if you could drive, could justify taking his car when his final destination was only a few streets away.

"You're late." The attractive dark haired women who opened the door to him said. She flashed him a cute, gap toothed smile before kissing him on the cheek, "but you brought wine so you're forgiven." She took the bottle from him and pulled him through the door by the waistband of his jeans.

"Whoa there, steady on Missy" he said, placing his hands on her hips to steady himself "Don't want the neighbours gossiping."

She chuckled "Let's give them something to talk about then, shall we."

He laughed and moved his hands up to her trim waist, bringing her in for a tight hug. Bending down he rested his head on her shoulder and growled, "Hmm, you look good enough to eat."

"Come on, charmer" she smiled, "I'll introduce you to everyone" She placed a hand on his back to guide him into the living room, "Jack, meet the Rugger Wives," she squealed. "Everyone this is Jack Harkness, Ianto's new fella."


	2. Don't Ask, Don't Tell

Jack Harkness wasn't one for holding grudges but it was hard not to be bitter when your whole life had been ripped from under you. When Jack fell foul of the US Military's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell Policy" he lost everything. Openly bisexual since his early teen years, he had nevertheless accepted that his candid approach to sexuality wasn't appropriate after he joined the military. It wasn't an issue. He knew that as long as he didn't let his Commanding Officer know the details, he wouldn't be asked to justify his choice of bed partners. The arrangement wasn't ideal but it worked and would have continued until his retirement, accept that he was spotted by one of his men on a night out. He may well have been able to offer an explanation as to why he was leaving a gay club at 2 am but what he couldn't give a reason for, or at least a reason that didn't involve being in love with another man, was why he had been wrapped around his boyfriend at the time. His CO had been aware of Jack's sexuality before he was informed of the incident but he could no longer turn a blind eye because now it was on record. It was hypocrisy of the highest order and the CO hated himself for doing it; but despite being a decorated war hero and giving half his life to the service, Jack was thrown out on his ear.

And that was when everything went to shit. Jack couldn't stand to stay in a country that he felt had rejected him. He'd been born in Scotland and decided to make use of his dual nationality by emigrating to the UK. Of course, Jack asked John, his boyfriend to go with him, he even did the whole down on one knee thing but John didn't want to leave. He begged and pleaded for Jack to stay but Jack had made his mind up. Six weeks of yelling and shouting was followed by two weeks of crying and holding each other as they both realised the stalemate couldn't be resolved. On the night before Jack left, they made love one last time; their eyes locked, shedding silent tears that ran down their cheeks and stained the pillows below them. At the airport they had cried again as they hugged each other and made promises to write and visit but both knowing full well that they would more than likely never see each other again.

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Jack closed his eyes. Two hours into the flight and the brown haired man in the pinstripe suit and sneakers hadn't stopped talking once. And what was that about anyway, who the hell wears sneakers with a suit. He hoped that he had been nodding and hmmming in all the right places but he really wasn't in the mood to talk and he was beginning to lose the will to live.

"So anywho, I said to my IT manager, lovely girl, Japanese, absolute genius, you'd love her, anyway as I was saying, I say I'm working for Cardiff University but in reality I'm only masquerading as a human being, I'm really a time travelling alien with two hearts and a space ship shaped like a blue box that's bigger on the inside."

"Mmmm" Jack nodded, His head snapped up, "What, Sorry What did you say?"

"You haven't been listening to a word I've said have you?"

Jack at least had the good grace to look sheepish, "I'm sorry," he apologised, "that was incredibly rude of me." He held out his hand and grinned, "Captain Jack," He stopped abruptly. "Strike that, it's just Jack, Jack Harkness."

"Pleased to meet you just Jack," the man smiled back taking Jack's hand in his and shaking it vigorously, "John Smith," he said, "don't worry about ignoring me, it's my fault, I talk too much, I do talk too much don't I, I think it's genetic or something, my mother was the same and ...oh I'm doing it again aren't I? Sorry."

Jack laughed.

"So, what is it, business or pleasure?" John asked.

"Pardon me?"

"Your trip, business or pleasure?"

"Neither" Jack replied, "I'm moving over there"

"Why's that, new job? British girlfriend? British boyfriend? Just love the accent too much?

"It's a long story"

"Well, we've got..." John looked at his watch, "Eight hours"

Jack wasn't sure why but he started to talk to the strange man. He told him everything, including how much he still fucking loved his John and was half wondering whether to turn right around and buy a ticket home as soon as the plane landed.

"I'm sorry," the man said, "that sucks. So, what are you going to do now?"

"I've got a little bit of money saved up and I still have a small pension from the Navy. I thought I'd travel around Britain a bit, find somewhere to settle and hopefully get a job."

"Well as luck would have it, I work for the Maritime Studies Dept of Cardiff University and I happen to be recruiting at the moment, could do with someone with your in depth knowledge. It's a research post actually, we are looking into the history of Cardiff Bay at the moment but we are interested in anything to do with maritime history and we go all over the world, do you dive?"

"yeah," Jack replied, "Qualified about ten years ago, but are you always in the habit of offering strange men jobs"

"I tend to act on my impulses....and I didn't say I'd definitely give you the job but I'd be more than happy to give you an interview." He reached into the inside pocket of his suit jacket, took out a business card and handed it to Jack. "When you're finished traveling, give me a call."


	3. It's Ianto Jones!

As it turns out, Jack hadn't quiet made it around the whole of the British Isles. In fact he didn't get any further than Liverpool where he had walked past a car dealership specialising in classic American cars. He'd fallen in love right there and then and spent the last of his savings on the object of his affection. He called John Smith, the strange man he had met on the plane, arranging an interview for the Cardiff University research post and driving his new car to Cardiff that evening. The following day they met up and the two men greeted each other as if they were long lost friends. They found they had a lot in common and John offered him the job on the spot. Jack still missed his old life but he was content for the most part and he didn't think he could ask for more than that.

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"Toshiko" Jack whined through the telephone receiver, stretching the name to two syllables, "My computer's gone caput, come fix it for me."

Tosh took off her glasses and pinched the bridge of her nose, "how many times, do I have to tell you," she replied. The slight laugh in her voice told Jack that she wasn't really angry, "I'm not IT support. I'm the IT Manager and right now I'm coding, you know doing my job, the job I'm paid to do, ring for a technician."

"Ah, come on, Tosh. I want you. Support will ask me to turn it off, wait ten seconds and turn it back on again, that's all they ever say."

Tosh sighed, there was just no way anyone could say no to Jack Harkness, "Okay," she conceded, "I'm on my way."

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"Right," Tosh said, "Let's see what's wrong with her and if you've pulled the plug out again, I swear I'll......" She sighed, "You pulled the plug out again, didn't you?"

Jack Laughed. "I had to find some way to get you up here, you promised to show me the local nightlife."

"I did no such thing," she replied, "I don't even know the local nightlife."

"I know the local nightlife," Andy Davison, one of Jack's Research Assistants, piped up from behind his work station in the corner.

"There you are then, Tosh." Jack grinned, "Now, how do you feel about threesomes?"

Tosh looked defeated, "I'm just not going to win this one, am I?"

"Nope!"

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The bar was crowded, although Jack had to admit that had its compensations. The bum in the rather tight suit trousers had been unable to find a seat and was currently placed conveniently in his eye line.

"Jack," Tosh scolded, "stop looking at that man's bum. Honestly, you drag me out here and spend all night staring at bums...that is so rude." Andy guffawed. "Asking Jack not to stare at bums, that's like asking bees not to buzz. I even caught him staring at my bum yesterday."

"I do not stare at your bum, it's a bit too scrawny for my taste and on that note, I think it's my round."

What happened next would have embarrassed most men but Jack wasn't most men and he had to admit it was one of the happiest moments of his life. Just as he pushed his chair back to go to the bar, the nice bum in the tight trousers decided to take a step backwards and Jack found that a handsome Welshman had fallen into his lap."

"Well, hey there gorgeous," he purred, "You know if you wanted to sit on my knee you only had to ask."

The man blushed an adorable shade of red and Jack realised that he wasn't much more than a boy. He decided to take pity on him. "Here let me help you up."

"Thank you." The man spoke for the first time and Jack wondered if it was possible to come in your pants just from the sound of someone's voice. _"Down boy," _he thought, _"he's not interested." _

"By the way, nice aftershave," the young man smiled, as he pulled himself up.

"_Oooh, maybe he is interested after all" _

"Not wearing any" Jack replied.

"You smell like that naturally?"

The two men looked at each other and it seemed to Jack as if time stood still. The moment was broken when Andy gasped,

"Hey, it's Ianto Jones, isn't it?" He stood up and held out his hand. "Wow my sister loves you, wait until I tell her I met you. Great match on Saturday by the way."

Tosh and Jack looked at him quizzically. "It's Ianto Jones," Andy said, as if that explained everything. Jack just shrugged.

"Oh, save us from the non-welsh," Andy laughed, "You'd think rugby wasn't the most important thing in the whole world. Ianto , you don't mind if I call you Ianto do you? Ianto shook his head and he continued. "Ianto plays Full Back for Cardiff blues."

Ianto smiled and shook hands but didn't really know what to say. He'd been playing for Cardiff Blues for two seasons and he still wasn't used to the attention.

"Oh" Jack replied. Still not sure what the fuss was about but hey, if it kept the young man over here, who was he to argue.

"Would you mind" Andy asked, taking out a pen and paper from his pocket, "you know, for my sister."

"No, of course not. What's your sister's name?"

"Oh, em" he stuttered, "Oh, okay, It's for me, I'm Andy by the way."

Jack suddenly realised that he hadn't introduced himself yet. "I'm Jack," he said "And that's Toshiko"

"Pleased to meet you." Ianto shook Toshiko's hand and turned towards Jack. As their hands met, Jack felt a little jolt and noticed the other man looked startled for a second.

Andy coughed. "Oh, sorry" Ianto blushed again. He wrote something on the piece of paper and handed it back.

Suddenly a ripple seemed to flow around the bar as people noticed that the man was giving out autographs and looked to see who it was. Ianto found himself surrounded by men and women, the men slapping him on the back and saying things like "Good match," and "Excellent goal," and the girls giggling and taking pictures on their camera phones. Ianto shrugged apologetically at Jack and started signing the bits of paper and beer mats that were thrust under his nose. Finally the crowd thinned as people went back to what they had been doing before all the excitement, pulling out their mobile phones and saying, "Guess who I just met?"

Ianto took the last bit of paper, signed it and handed it back to......Jack"

"Hmm, oh yeah, hi" Jack said nervously. What was the matter with him tonight, he was hardly ever nervous. "I'm sorry I have no idea what a Full Back is, I was actually hoping for your phone number."

Ianto blushed for the third time that night." Wordlessly he took the paper back. Wrote down his number and disappeared into the night.


	4. When Ianto met Jack, Ianto's POV

Ianto nodded and smiled, trying to look interested in what the dark skinned girl was saying. It wasn't that Lisa Hallet wasn't beautiful; in fact of all the girls his sister had tried to set him up with lately, she was definitely the most stunning. No, the problem had nothing to do with her level of attractiveness it was just that he still had to find a way of telling his sister he wasn't that interested in girls.

"You know," Lisa said, as if she had been reading his mind, "You ought to tell your sister you're gay then she'd stop trying to set you up."

Ianto closed his eyes briefly, letting his shoulders sag and breathing heavily through his nose as he opened them again.

"I'm so sorry," he apologised, "I've tried, really I have but every time I start to say something, she tells me about some lovely girl she's just met who would be ideal for me."

Lisa smiled. "Don't worry, I actually had a great time tonight. If you ever want to do it again, you know just as friends, you've got my number, yeah?"

"I'd like that," Ianto replied, "I'll call you."

"Well, I think I'll call it a night," She said, giving him a peck on the cheek.

"I'll walk you home,"

"No, please it's fine, it's not late and I only live around the corner."

Ianto nodded and took a step backwards to let her pass. "_oh, hello" _he thought as he found himself staring into the deepest blue eyes he had ever seen. He let his gaze drop to the lips and he wondered what those lips would feel like wrapped around his...._Oh, god the lips were moving, was he saying something, was he asking me a question, am I supposed to say something now?. _He blushed. In fact he blushed so hard he was convinced if they'd been playing an evening match, they wouldn't need floodlights because his face would light up the entire stadium.

"Let me help you up" the man spoke.

"Thank you" _Say something quick or he's going to think you're not interested._

"By the way nice aftershave"; _oh,_ _well done, Ianto, great line, now he's going to think you're an idiot._

"Not wearing any."

"You smell like that naturally?"_ this just keeps getting better and better. Now he's really going to think you're an idiot._

"Hey, it's Ianto Jones, isn't it? Wow my sister loves you, wait until I tell her I met you. Great match on Saturday by the way."

Ianto had to call upon all his strength of willpower just to turn away from those beautiful blue eyes. In fact he did think about ignoring the other man completely but then he remembered what the team captain had said about PR and keeping the fans happy.

He hated this part of the job. On the pitch he felt poised and graceful; as if there was an almost spiritual connection between him and the ball. Off the pitch however, he was awkward and shy and just a little bit gawky. He schooled his features into the mask he wore whenever he was meeting fans. He agreed to give the man, Andy his autograph. He still thought it was hilarious when people asked, especially when they pretended it was for their sister or daughter or some other female relative.

"I'm Jack," blue eyes was talking again "And that's Toshiko"

"_Ah, Jack," _Ianto thought,_ "All the beautiful sounds of the world in a single word......okay, now I'm quoting West Side Story, that's not good."_

He felt a jolt of electricity go through his body as he shook Jack's hand and wondered if the other man felt it too.

Before Ianto could say anything else he was surrounded by people asking for photographs and congratulating him on last Saturday's win. He shrugged at Jack and hoped that he would still be there when the clamour had died down. Finally, he took the last piece of paper that had been handed to him, signed it and looked up to see who had given it to him. When he saw it was Jack, he frowned. The man hadn't seemed in the slightest bit interested in Rugby, why would he want his autograph now?

"Hmm, oh yeah, hi, I'm sorry I have no idea what a Full Back is, I was actually hoping for your phone number."

Ianto took the paper back. He didn't think he could trust himself to speak as he was mortified by his mistake. If Jack didn't think he was stupid, he'd think he was an egotistical megalomaniac with a hero complex. He wrote his number down on the paper, handed it back and slipped out without another word. He doubted he would ever hear from the man again.


	5. Of Changing Rooms and Phone Calls

Ianto looked around at his teammates and cringed at how muddy they all were. He knew that he was pretty much in the same state as they were and his slight tendency towards OCD was causing his teeth to chatter and his hands to turn white as they gripped the bench below him. Ianto hated being muddy. He knew it was quite funny considering he played rugby for a living, but he didn't mind it so much when he was on the pitch. It was just that the moment the whistle blew he _had_ to drag himself into the shower and get rid of the icky feeling that made his skin crawl.

He was having to stay muddy today because there was no way the Manager was going to let them go until he'd had a good shout at them all. The match hadn't been the best of the season and they'd finished up losing 9–42 to Northampton Saints. There would be no hordes of adoring fans clamouring to shake their hands or clap them on the back tonight. Ianto began to slowly strip off his kit as the manager's tirade came to an end. He held up each item of clothing between thumb and forefinger, before letting it drop to the floor in disgust. He'd been uncomfortable getting naked in front of the others when he'd first joined the squad, but he was used to it by now. He guessed the public thought the changing rooms were all towel flicking and manly jibes and initiation rituals but actually it was just business. Whip off the kit, get under the communal showers, get clean, dry off, whip the outdoor clothes on and go. Of course, they talked but they generally talked about wives and kids and house prices and the weather. The fact that they did it naked with all their dangly bits, well dangling, was neither here nor there.

Ianto had just stepped out of his shorts and was about to make his way to the shower when his kit bag started to vibrate. Shit his phone was ringing. Normally he'd let it ring but he'd been hoping Jack would call. He looked at his muddy hands and wondered if he could remove the phone from his bag without touching anything else. "Eugh" he screamed in frustration. What if it _was_ Jack? What if he had been in two minds about whether or not to phone and wouldn't phone back, taking it as a sign that Ianto hadn't answered.

Rhys Williams, the team's Hooker and Ianto's best friend on the squad sighed and rolled his eyes. He dived straight in the kit bag, picking up the phone and dropping dried mud everywhere in the process. "Hello, Ianto Jones, coffee king, sex god and all round good guy here, how may I direct your call."

"Rhys, give me that phone now," Ianto yelled.

Rhys grinned and tossed the phone over to his friend who caught it, thanking whatever god was listening for his superior catching skills. "Erm, sorry about that," he said, _Please don't let it be Jack, Please don't let it be Jack."_

"Coffee King, eh" said a familiar American drawl, "I'm looking forward to sampling that when you invite me up for coffee."

_Oh great, it had to be Jack, _Ianto thought.

"Well, I'm told my coffee can be quite orgasmic," he quipped, his accent thickening on the last word.

Jack realised that it _was_ possible to come in your pants just from the sound of someone's voice.

He coughed. "Okay, you, me, dinner and a movie, pick you up at 8. Where d' ya live."

"Oooh, masterful. Bit presumptuous though aren't we?"

Oh, ok so you don't want to go, bye then"

"No Wait!"

Jack laughed.

"Fine," Ianto huffed, "You win." He gave his address, "What should I wear."

"What are you wearing now?"

Ianto looked down at his dangly bits still dangling, "Erm, no, that won't work. Not unless it's a naturist restaurant.

"Oooh, you're naked, why didn't you say so; and you said the word orgasmic to me. In some states of America we'd be married now."

Ianto pictured himself married to Jack, waking up with him every day and spending evenings curled up in front of the television with a glass of wine and a warm heart. He shook his head. What was the matter with him, he'd only just met this guy and all ready he was fantasising about a happily ever after that was probably never going to happen.

"How about smart casual?" Jack asked.

Ianto groaned. He hated smart casual, he wasn't even sure what it meant. For Ianto smart casual meant going without a waistcoat. "How about smart, smart?" he replied.

"Okay, smart, smart it is, see you at 8."

"Kay," Ianto said. He flipped the phone closed and noticed Rhys was staring at him "What?" he snapped.

"Nothing, I was just wondering what the dopey smile was about. You going to the pub tonight?"

"Can't" Ianto grinned, "Gotta date"

"I'm guessing from the dopey grin you're wearing it's not a date your sister set up, that's got to be a first"

"Yeah, it's been a while." Ianto agreed.

Rhys was the only one on the team who knew about Ianto's sexuality. They'd actually known each other at school, although Rhys was a few years older and they hadn't really moved in the same circles. After he'd joined the squad Rhys made Ianto feel welcome and they'd become good friends. When he came out to Rhys in the pub, the older man had just shrugged and said, "Fine by me now what do you want to drink."

"Hope it goes well, we can double date." He looked around the changing rooms making sure that no one else was listening, "Gwennie's always wanted to adopt a gay couple" he whispered.


	6. First Date

Ianto was stressing. He was stressing so badly that if he didn't calm down soon he was going to ruin everything. At times like this he wondered if his "slight tendency towards OCD" was actually one big, fucking neurosis. He checked his watch again; he still had a couple of hours before Jack was due to pick him up. He'd all ready stressed about what he was going to wear, taking everything out of his wardrobe, and working through different suit, shirt and tie combinations. He returned the rejected items to the wardrobe one by one, before pulling them all out again and starting the whole process from the beginning. Eventually he had chosen a grey pinstripe suit and a purple shirt and tie which complimented the suit perfectly. The outfit was hanging on the back of his bedroom door.

After pacing up and down a few times, he decided to give his sister a call, thinking today might be a good day to have that little chat with her. She answered on the second ring;

"Hey, Rhiannon," he said.

"Ianto, I was just about to call you. How did your date with Lisa go?"

"Ah, that's what I was ringing you about actually," he gulped.

"Not so well by the tone of your voice then." Rhiannon surmised, "Never mind, plenty more fish in the sea. In fact, there's this one girl at work. Not pretty, like Lisa but passable. Bit of a geek, really. She's clever like you."

Ianto groaned. He knew Rhiannon meant well but it was clear what she was implying. She had exhausted her supply of good looking, interesting women and was moving on to the kind of women who were perpetually available at short notice on a Saturday night. She probably figured Ianto would have better luck with them considering he was a bit of a geek himself. He'd always been a geek; he was a geek at school, he was a geek in University and he was a geek now. His place on various Rugby squads over the years and his elevation to local hero status hadn't really changed that. Ianto Jones was a geek. No-one who knew him well would be that surprised to discover he had an IQ of 169 and unlike most of his teammates, Rugby hadn't always been the main focus of his life. Actually he'd been far prouder of his election to Chess Club Captain, than he had of his selection for the Rugby squad.

His future had been mapped out for him at the age of 11 when he had surprised everyone by achieving the highest SAT scores in Wales. He even made the local paper. From then on his Father had pushed him into studying hard and "making something of himself." When Ianto didn't do as well as expected in his GCSE's, everyone rushed to blame someone else for his failure to shine. His teachers blamed him for not revising, his father blamed the teachers for not pushing him hard enough and his Headmaster blamed his father for pushing him too hard. Ianto had made it to University but it was Liverpool rather than Oxford or Cambridge and when his Dad died half way through his second year, he was relieved in many ways. It's not that he hated the man and he'd grieved almost as much as Rhiannon. It was just that he hated that slight tone of disappointment he always used whenever he talked about Ianto. Ianto abandoned his studies later that same term, returning to Cardiff to take up an offer to join the Blues squad.

"So what do you say," Rhiannon continued, "Shall I tell her you'll meet her?"

"No, Rhi" he pleaded, "Look, it's not that I don't appreciate what you're doing, but...."

"No buts, Ianto. I don't think I've ever seen you with a girl, have you even had a girlfriend yet."

Ianto sighed. Okay, so maybe today wasn't going to be such a good day to have that little chat after all.

"Okay, fine. I'll meet her."

He put the phone down and looked at his watch again. That had killed 15 minutes. Still one hour 45 minutes to go. Now what was he going to do.

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Across town, Jack Harkness was also stressing. If Ianto didn't do smart casual, Jack certainly didn't do smart smart. The only outfit he'd ever owned that could be considered smart was his dress uniform and he wasn't wearing that again, not outside the bedroom anyway. He picked up the telephone,

"Tosh, come over please" he begged, "I need your help."

"Jack, I know you think I'm your personal IT guy, but I don't do house calls." Tosh joked.

It's not my computer I need help with. I need a woman's touch."

"Oooh, where do you need me to touch you?"

Jack was lost for words. He was honest to goodness, plain and simple lost for words. Jack Harkness the man who could turn a request for directions or a comment about the weather into a witty innuendo, couldn't think of a thing to say.

"Jack, what's wrong?" Tosh asked, sensing his mood.

"I've got a date and I've no idea what to wear."

"Don't move I'll be right over."

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Jack stood outside the address that Ianto had given him, nervously fiddling with his tie. He was quite surprised to discover he even owned a tie but Tosh had found it scrunched up in the bottom of his wardrobe so he supposed it must have belonged to him. She managed to press it and had also picked out the perfect blue shirt to go with it. Coupled with a pair of grey slacks, Jack knew he wasn't exactly _smart_ smart but he was at least smart.

He hoped that Ianto would appreciate the flowers he had bought. He knew some gay men took exception to being romanced in that way, but Jack had always wooed his men in exactly the same manner he wooed his women. Of course, the sex was very different, harder and rougher. Sex with a woman still involved biting and nipping and slapping but it was more playful and less likely to result in actual physical injury.

"Jack," Ianto beamed, "Are they for me, they're beautiful. Come in, while I find a vase."

Jack mentally ticked off the first hurdle of the evening, relieved that Ianto had liked the flowers.

"I must say, Mr Jones," he said as he followed the younger man into the kitchen, "you certainly look good in a suit."

"You're not so bad yourself, Mr........" Ianto realised he didn't even know Jack's surname.

"Harkness," the other man finished for him.

"Harkness," Ianto repeated, "That's an unusual name."

"Oh, I don't know, it's quite common where I'm from."

Ianto smiled. "You should try being called Jones and coming from Wales."

"Yeah, but your first name's unusual."

"Not really, it's short for Ifan."

"Ah, so you're actually _Ifan_ Jones."

Ianto looked embarrassed, "I know could I _be _more Welsh."

Jack laughed, "Well, I think, it's cute and anyway, I love all things Welsh, come on I've got a table booked for 8.30, shall we."

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"Wow, love the car," Ianto said climbing in, "I'm impressed."

"She is a beauty, isn't she?" the older man replied proudly, "1979, Pontiac Transam."

"79, that's four years older than me," Ianto teased, "Couldn't you afford a new one."

"Hey, I'll have you know it's a classic...Oh, you're joking ....Four years, eh," Jack did a quick calculation, "that means you 23...oh."

"It's not a problem is it?"

"No, of course not, it's just... you're very young."

"Well, you're not that old, what are you 32, 33"

Jack smiled. "33," he agreed.

"There you are then, it's only 10 years and I like older guys anyway. Where are we going by the way."

"Luigi's in town, I hope you like Italian."

"Love it," Ianto replied. Luigi's was a very nice restaurant. Jack was obviously going to be a classy date. One of the perks of dating older guys is they always knew exactly how to treat you. He sat back in his chair, "I have a feeling I'm going to enjoy tonight," he sighed.

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Ianto was explaining string theory, it's not that he wanted to explain string theory. In fact, his brain was screaming for his mouth to "shut the fuck up, all ready" but his mouth had gone all petulant and was stamping its feet and refusing point blank to listen to a word his brain said.

"....There not really strings, more tiny little loops, like rubber bands, everything in the universe, all matter and energy, made up of identical rubber bands, all vibrating in different ways. It's beautiful really, and it's the only theory that has any hope of coming up with the answer to the all illusive Theory of Everything," he concluded.

"_Finally", _Ianto's brain shrieked.

Jack was staring. Ianto shifted uncomfortably, "Sorry," he said, "I get carried away sometimes."

"Please, don't apologise," Jack soothed, "I mean, I didn't understand half of what you just said but you've got a beautiful voice, I could listen to it all night, and your face lights up when you talk about that stuff."

"You're full of surprises," he went on. "Who would have thought behind that burly rugby playing Welshman is this mind blowingly, wonderful, genius."

Ianto blushed.

Jack felt a little sad. It was obvious that the younger man didn't really know how to receive a compliment and he wondered who had crushed his spirit so completely. He reached his hand across the table, placing it on top of the young Welshman's. Ianto fidgeted and slowly moved his hand away, resting it on his lap under the table. Jack raised an eyebrow.

"Sorry, it's just I get recognised a lot and...I'm not really out..as such...yet."

Jack looked surprised, "But, you're 23, you must have had other boyfriends."

"I know, and I'm not ashamed or in denial or anything. I am out to people who matter, friends and family, well not family but friends, well close friends anyway,....mostly." Jack raised his eyebrows again.

"oh ok, it's Rhys, only Rhys. I'm out to Rhys."

The older man laughed. "Ok. One question, who's Rhys?"

"You spoke to him earlier," Ianto imitated a telephone receiver with his thumb and little finger, holding it up to his ear "_Ianto Jones, coffee king, sex god and all round good guy_...He's a hooker."

"He's a what?" Jack gasped.

Ianto shook his head, exasperated. "It's a rugby position, you idiot."

wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

It was a lovely meal. Jack had chosen a very nice bottle of wine which complimented the meal perfectly and the conversation flowed easily. They had both agreed that they were too full for desert but had shared an ice-cream because Ianto explained you always had room for ice-cream. When Ianto stifled a yawn which he tried to hide behind the back of his hand, the older man suggested they skip the movie and head for home.

"So, do you want to come in for that coffee," Ianto suggested as soon as they pulled up outside his apartment building.

"Actually, it's late," Jack replied, "I think we should call it a day."

"Oh....oh, I thought. Oh, no, never mind. It doesn't matter."

Ianto bit his lip hard, there was no way he was going to cry. He thought Jack had liked him but obviously he was wrong. Why the hell did he have to go on about bloody string theory. The other man had seemed ok about it but he was obviously just being polite.

"Ianto, I......."

"No, it's fine. You don't have to explain yourself to me. It was good to meet you, yeah. I had a great time." He kissed the older man on the cheek. Getting out of the car he drew on all the self pride he could muster, before turning and making his way back to his flat.

Once inside, he slid down the front door, pulling his knees up to his chest as the first tears began to flow.


	7. Rhys offers to break Ianto's leg

Ianto shivered. He let his head drop back, allowing it to rest against the door for a few moments; He heaved a huge sigh and forced himself to get up. So what if Jack didn't want him, he thought, there's plenty more fish in the sea. Hadn't his sister used those exact same words earlier? He felt fresh tears prick his eyes just as his telephone started ringing. _Who could be ringing him at this late hour?_ He frowned when he saw the caller ID.

"Jack?" he queried.

"Listen to me, Ianto" Jack ordered, "I know what you're thinking, but you've got it all wrong."

Ianto's heart was thumping; it was thumping so hard, he thought Jack might be able to hear it through the telephone.

"I like you," the older man continued, "I mean really like you. If I didn't like you, I'd be in there now screwing you into your mattress and sneaking out before you wake up." He paused. "If I'm honest, that's what I was planning to do" he confessed, "but I didn't know how amazing you were then. I want to do this right,now. I want to get to know you a bit better first."

There was a moment of silence, which seemed to Jack to go on far too long.

"Say something Ianto, please. I'm out on a limb here."

"You like me?"

"Yup!"

"You really like me?"

"Sure do."

Ianto thought his heart was going to burst right out of his chest.

"Oh," he breathed.

"Is that all you've got to say?"

"I like you too."

"Good, I'm glad we've got that straight. Now go to bed, get some rest and I'll call you soon."

wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

"I see you're still wearing the dopey grin."

"Yup."

"You got your rocks off, then....No wait! Don't answer that, so don't want to know."

"Actually, Jack was the perfect gentleman,"

"Aw, sweet."

wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

"So, where's he taking you on your next date?"

"I dunno, he hasn't rung yet."

"Never mind, it's only been a couple of days."

wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

"Jack rung yet?"

No, but it's fine. He's probably busy at work or something."

"Yeah, I'm sure, he'll phone soon."

Wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

"You could always phone him."

"I don't want to appear needy and desperate."

"You are needy and desperate."

"Yes, but I don't want Jack to know that."

Wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

"Has...."

"NO, HE BLOODY HASN'T!"

wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

"Anything"

"No, why wouldn't he phone. Does he not like me? Why would he say he likes me if he doesn't?.....Oh my god, what if he's had an accident. What if he's lying in hospital, what if he's got amnesia and horrific facial injuries so the doctor's can't identify him? Oh, god that's what's happened, Should I ring round the hospitals?"

"Gwen, quick. Find a paper bag, Ianto's having another panic attack."

Wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

"Has...."

"Shut up, Rhys...Just bloody shut up."

wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

"I could always break your leg."

"Pardon"

"Think about it, if I break your leg, Jack will have to come visit you in hospital."

"I think we'll put that idea on the back burner for now."

"Rhys"

"Yes, Ianto?

"Thanks for offering to break my leg, that means a lot to me."

wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

"His car's quite distinctive isn't it?"

"So?"

"You could wait for him outside his work and throw yourself in front of it."

"Hmmm"

wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

"So, what would you use to break my leg?"

"Sledge hammer?"

Wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

"What about finding out where he lives and......"

"You mean like stalk him."

"Nah, maybe not. Stalking's never a good idea."

wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

"Ianto, I'm so sorry for not phoning sooner. It's been mad at work."

"Why, has it been a long time? I hadn't noticed"


	8. Getting to Know You

"How about I swing by your place on Friday, we'll go see that movie?"

Ianto stifled a groan and tried not to sound disappointed. He'd waited ages for the other man to call and his mind had constructed a beautiful fantasy of a second date. Jack had taken him to a secluded beach and they'd lain on a blanket, holding hands and watching the stars come out. Going to the movies just wasn't going to cut it. "No can do," he said, "We've got a match on Friday night."

"I could come watch you play," the older man suggested.

"You have no interest whatsoever in Rugby and anyway....."

Jack sighed. "Yes I know,..... you don't want your friends to see us together."

"It's not that exactly. Look, I'm going to come out soon, just let me do it in my own time please."

"I will," Jack replied, "but I did all that sneaking around thing while I was in the military. It's not always pleasant, lying and hiding yourself away. I thought I'd left all that behind me. Besides, I'm proud of you, I want to show you off."

"Soon, I promise. Since Fridays not a goer," Ianto continued, changing the subject, "how about we do something Saturday afternoon instead, my choice."

"Sounds like a plan, I'll pick you up about 1"

"No, _**I'll**_ pick _**you**_ up about 12, wear something casual."

"Hmmm, now who's the masterful one?"

************************************

Ianto stopped his car outside Jack's address. He'd imagined Jack living in one of the smart new tower blocks in the Bay area, all Formica and stainless steel and Swedish minimalism but this area couldn't have been more different. It had probably been very smart in its day but mainly consisted of multiple occupancy dwellings now. Row upon row of three story Victorian town houses, most of them converted into flats sometime during the 1990's, when the housing boom had been in full swing.

Since he wasn't able to find a parking space anywhere near Jack's building, which Ianto supposed was testament to the overcrowding in the area, he shifted his car back into gear and continued up the street a little way. He had to walk back several yards to find the house again and as he opened the gate on to the neat but tiny front garden, he scanned the door looking for the intercom entry system. Before he'd even come to the end of the pathway however, the door flew open,

"You found it then," Jack beamed, dragging him over the threshold and into a hug which took the his breath away. Ianto pulled away just enough to look at Jack's face and return the smile. "Hey, you." he laughed. He looked around and for the first time noticed that all the doors inside the house, though heavy and solid looking, were of the internal type.

"You live here on your own," he exclaimed.

"Sure, who did you think I lived with?"

"I just assumed it was flats."

"Nah, like my space, can't abide all that living on top of each other in little boxes."

Ianto wondered if he knew anything at all about the other man, it seems his assumptions about how he lived had been completely off the mark. He felt a sudden sense of misgiving and wondered if he'd been building castles in the air. Had the stomach flips he'd experienced when they met and the fluttering of his heart during their first date just been a beautiful fantasy. In truth, this Jack was a complete stranger to him.

"How can you afford it on a University salary?" he asked.

"I've still got my Navy pension and anyway I got it for a steal. The vendor was a developer who went bust before he had a chance to ruin it. I fell in love with it at first sight," he looked into Ianto's eyes, smiling gently, "I seem to be doing that a lot lately," he continued shyly.

Despite his misgivings, Ianto founded himself lifting his face to Jack's and the older man closed the gap, bringing their lips together in a passionate kiss that caused Ianto's heart to start fluttering all over again. He imagined he could almost hear its pitter, patter reverberating around the parquet floored hall way. Eventually they parted, both men panting softly as Jack rested their foreheads together.

"Mmmmm, that was nice," he smiled.

Ianto suddenly became aware that the pitter pattering wasn't his heart after all but footsteps echoing above them. "There's someone upstairs" he stated.

"That'll be Cherry." Jack explained.

"Who the hell is Cherry." Ianto pulled out of Jack's embrace, "I thought you said you lived alone."

"Wait there," Jack laughed, "I'll be right back" and before the young Welshman could say anything else, he bounded up the stairs taking them two at a time. He reappeared a second later carrying a wriggling bundle of brown and white fur.

"You've got a dog," Ianto squealed, not at all disturbed by how much like a girl he sounded,

."I can't believe you didn't tell me you've got a dog."

"Well it didn't exactly come up," Jack replied "Ianto meet Cherry, the most gorgeous King Charles Spaniel, this side of the Severn....." Turning to look at the dog and allowing it to lick his face, he continued, "Aren't you girl, yes you are."

Ianto's eyes widened at the sight of Jack Harkness cooing and clucking over his obviously cherished pet.

"Will she be okay, here on her own?" he asked.

"She'll be fine, she likes her own company anyway."

"We could take her with us?" Ianto suggested.

"Are you sure, didn't you have something planned."

"Yes, but she could still come with us, I'd like her to."

"Great," Jack grinned, "I'll go get her lead"

************************************

They had been driving for about an hour when Cherry's sharp bark alerted Jack to the need for a doggy rest stop. They pulled into a lay by and Ianto leaned against the car while Jack took Cherry into the bushes.

When they returned Ianto smiled brightly and kissed Jack on the cheek.

"I missed you" he said.

"I thought you were scared of being recognised with me." Jack queried.

"I told you, I'm not scared, I just don't want my sister finding out from the gossips. Anyway, I won't get recognised out here, it's not like I'm famous or anything, just quite well known around Cardiff."

"Oh So, PDA's are allowed out here then?"

Ianto blushed, "that depends what you had in mind," he mumbled.

Jack chuckled.

"You're laughing at me" Ianto pouted.

The older man threw back his head and laughed, really laughed, a deep throaty genuine laugh that caused the people nearby to turn around in amusement.

"For such a hot, sexy Welshman," he chortled, "you certainly do embarrass easily."

Ianto looked down at his feet, toeing the gravel nervously. He lifted his eyes to the American's keeping his head low, "hot and sexy, eh," he murmured.

"Absolutely.....anyway fancy a burger," Jack said, nodding towards the snack van that was parked nearby.

"Hey," Ianto swatted the other man's arm, playfully "I've got lunch covered; besides I had a friend caught hepatitis from one of those vans."

************************************

About half an hour later, Ianto pulled off the road into a small car park.

"We're here," he said.

"Where exactly is here?" Jack puzzled.

"Brecon Beacons, edge of the national park actually" Ianto walked around the back of the car and opened the boot, "help me with this" he said, "I know a great place for a picnic but we'll have to walk from here. Even if I did own an SUV, off roading is illegal in Wales, not to mention dangerous for the wildlife, damaging to the environment and extremely annoying for other park users."

"Oooh, picnic," Jack shrieked, clapping his hands together excitedly, "I love picnics."

The two men carried the picnic hamper between them, Jack taking Cherry's lead in his free hand.

They walked through a small wood, stopping occasionally so that one or other of them could go ahead when the gap between the trees was too small to accommodate both of them. After about five minutes the wood thinned out and Jack found himself standing in a picturesque gladed area, completely surrounded by trees and hidden from the road. A small stream trickled nearby, bubbling quietly over some large boulders. Ianto put the hamper down, opened it and took out a blanket, laying it down on the grass and sitting crossed legged on it. Jack joined him stretching out on his side, resting his head on his upturned hand. Cherry settled herself on his feet in a manner which suggested to Ianto that to it was a familiar position for her. The older man leaned forward and scratched behind her ears before settling back down and turning towards Ianto.

"This is perfect," he smiled.

"Bit better than going to the movies," the young Welshman replied.

Jack cringed. "Sorry about that," he apologised, "I guess I'm not as good at this stuff as I think I am. My ex-girlfriend use to call me Captain Obvious."

Ianto's eyes widened, "Ex g –girlfriend," he stammered, "you're not gay!?"

"No. I'm sorry, I thought you knew. I'm bi...that won't be a problem, will it?"

"Erm, no, of course not" Jack didn't miss the slight hesitation in Ianto's response. He sighed. He'd been through this before, many times in fact. His straight girlfriends worried that he was going to run off with another man and his gay boyfriends were always thinking he'd leave them for a woman.

"I'm sorry," Ianto said, "Ignore me, I'm just being silly." He reached into the hamper and took out a silver thermos, "now, I think it's time you sampled my coffee."

************************************

It turned out to be a lovely afternoon. The Indian summer which the whole country had experienced in the last few days continued, and the weather had stayed unseasonably warm and sunny. Ianto had brought all manner of delightful treats, dainty enough for the two men to feed each other with, stopping now and again to kiss.

They were both comfortably full now and Jack had agreed that Ianto's coffee was indeed orgasmic. He lay on his back on the blanket staring at the clouds, while Ianto lay across him resting his head on the other man's stomach. Jack placed his arm across Ianto's torso, lifting his tee-shirt a little to find bear skin. He stroked the dog lazily with his other hand.

"You know when you we're a kid," he asked, "did you ever look at clouds and see shapes 'cause that one up there looks just like a bunny rabbit."

"A bunny rabbit?!" Ianto guffawed, "how old are you, 10? Anyway, I never got that whole seeing shapes in clouds thing. I know some people look at clouds and see candy floss but to me they're just millions of water droplets, containing molecules of hydrogen and oxygen and each of those molecules containing a proton and an electron...."

"Ahem," Jack coughed, "Now who's unromantic."

Ianto looked sheepish, "sorry" he said, "I told you I get carried away sometimes."

"It's ok and I told you, I love the sound of your voice, it's so sexy."

"Talking about sexy," Ianto smiled, "Do you reckon you've got to know me well enough yet."

Jack smirked, "Your place or mine?" he asked.


	9. Breakfast Interrupted

Jack was running; running so fast he thought his lungs would burst. It was dark. He couldn't see anything, not even the ground below him. He wasn't sure what he was running from anymore. All he knew was he had to get away.

His desperate flight came to an abrupt end. He tripped on an unseen obstacle, falling headlong and hitting the ground with a loud squelch. He lifted his upper body, resting it on his arms as his eyes became accustomed to the darkness. His mind shut down. Unwilling to investigate the cause of the repulsive smell below him, he turned his head to one side and recoiled in horror. All around him were bodies and not all of them whole. As far as his eye could see; an undulating, bloody and writhing turmoil of arms and legs, twisted and bent into a grotesque carpet of horror. Jack felt something crawling up his back. He screamed as the monster whispered in his ear, "Jack....." He turned and blindly struck out as hard as he could.

"What the fuck, Jack...you hit me."

He shot up and looked around confused, not sure where he was for a moment. Relief flooded through him as he realised he was home, in his own bed.

"Oh g-god, Ianto. Did I h-hurt you? he stammered.

"Shhh, hush now. I'm fine" Ianto assured him.

Jack lay back down, turning his face away from the younger man.

"Look at me."

Jack breathed a huge sigh which ended in a sob and turned to face his new lover. He placed a hand on the younger man's hip. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Shhh, it's ok. Do you often have nightmares?"

Jack nodded. "It's an unfortunate side effect.....active service," he explained.

"The Gulf?" Ianto asked.

Jack paused a moment before nodding again. "Do you mind if we don't talk about it?" he said. "What time is it?"

"5.30."

Jack moved his hand to the small of Ianto's back. He ghosted it down the Welshman's spine, running it over his rump before letting it come to rest again on his hip. He allowed his thumb to drop down and gently stroke Ianto's half hard penis.

"Is it too early for...." He raised his eyebrows, smirking suggestively.

Ianto rolled his eyes. "You're insatiable, you are," he laughed, grabbing him and pulling him into a hug which brought their hardening cocks together, "and it's never too early."

**************************************

Ianto stretched, opened his eyes and smiled.

"Hi," he said, "how long have you been lying there looking at me."

"Not long," Jack smiled.

He groaned. "Don't tell me I was snoring or, god forbid, drooling."

"You're beautiful, asleep or awake, I just wanted to look at you, I can't help myself."

"C'mon you romantic fool, time to get up. I'm starving."

"Okay, shower first," Jack jumped out of bed pulling Ianto with him, "then I'm taking you out for breakfast."

**************************************

Ianto was pleasantly surprised. He'd expected breakfast with Jack to consist of an Egg McMuffin and insipid brown liquid, served in cardboard containers and bought from the drive-through. In fact the establishment Jack took him to was small and privately owned, selling proper coffee and home-baked goods. Jack ordered a Danish and Macchiato while Ianto chose a Latte and Pain au Chocolate.

He watched the older man eat with a dreamy smile on his face. He'd always been a careful eater himself. He suspected that even as a toddler he'd nibbled daintily on his rusks and held his sippy cup with little finger extended. Jack on the other hand, ate like he did everything else in life, with gusto and abandon. Everything about the man screamed, "Hey, I'm Jack Harkness. Deal with it."

"D' Ya want that," Jack asked indicating Ianto's half eaten pastry with a nod. Ianto shook his head and was about to push it across the table when the bell above the door announced the arrival of a new customer.

"Oh know," he groaned, "Don't look now."

Jack turned following Ianto's gaze and noticing a mildly unattractive man of mid to late thirties wearing a checked jacket and faded jeans.

"I thought I said don't look." Ianto hissed. "Just don't say anything, okay?"

Jack wondered who the man was to Ianto. There was no way he could be an ex-boyfriend, no gaydar vibes for one thing but in any case, he was completely out of his league. The man walked over to their table.

"Ah, Mr Jones," he said, "fancy seeing you here."

"Yeah, fancy," Ianto scoffed, "I mean, it's not like you're following me or anything."

The man showed no sign of having heard Ianto but turned towards Jack and held out his hand.

"David Brigstocke," he announced, "and you would be."

"None of your damn business, Brigstocke," Ianto replied, "come on Jack were leaving."

"But I'm not finished."

"Okay then,_ I'm_ leaving," Ianto yelled, "I'll See ya around."

Jack looked longingly at his breakfast before turning to glare at the man and then standing up and running after his young lover.

**************************************


	10. First Fight

"Hey, wait up," Jack shouted. He grabbed hold of Ianto's shoulder and spun him around; tightening his grip as the Welshman's balance wavered. "Who was that guy?"

Ianto's eyes blazed with fury and for a second Jack thought he was going to hit him. He took a step backwards and held up his hands in a gesture of surrender, "Hey, hey, hey" he said, "I'm not the enemy here."

"Just drop it, Jack please. I don't want to talk about it, okay."

"No it's not okay. Who was that man, I need to know because if he's hurt you in anyway, I'll......"

"You'll what, Jack? Why the fuck should you care. We've only known each other a couple of weeks, I'm nothing to you........and you're nothing to me."

Jack's eyes narrowed and he made a noise in the back of his throat, half way between a sigh and a bitter laugh, "Oh I see," he said, "I thought we had something here, obviously I was wrong." He glared angrily, taking a few short, sharp, rapid breaths through his nose.

Ianto returned the look for a second or two before allowing his gaze to shift sideways and biting his lip hard. He hitched a breath as he felt salty tears leak from his eyes.

"Oh god, Ianto, don't cry. Please don't cry." Jack found all his anger melting away and he seized the younger man in a bone crushing hug. After a few moments he pushed him away and held him at arm's length.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"I'm sorry too," Ianto smiled weakly. "Did we just have our first fight?" he sniffed.

"Yeah, I think we did," Jack laughed, "but let's not allow it to spoil the rest of our day, eh?"

Ianto nodded, "Okay," he whispered.

"Come on, let's drop by your place and you can get cleaned up. Since breakfast was interrupted, I'll take you somewhere nice for lunch."

Ianto sniffed and nodded again.

"Look, when you're ready to tell me who that guy was, I'm ready to listen. In the meantime, since we're dropping by your place anyway...."

Ianto rolled his eyes.

"What," Jack shrugged, "Ya gotta have make up sex."

**************************************

"Yay, dopey grin's back, spill."

"A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell, Rhys."

"I told you everything when me and Gwen got together."

"I know. I've still got the image burned on my retina. Thanks to you every time I close my eyes I can see you and Gwen doing it. Eehw!"

"So, did you...?"

Ianto blushed.

"Guess, that's a yes, then."

"Yeah, after the date.......Then again in the morning......Oh and once more before lunch and twice after dinner the next day."

Rhys pulled a wistful face. He sighed. "Ah, I remember when me and Gwen were at it like rabbits."

**************************************

_From: _Jack Harkness

_To_: Ianto Jones

_Subject_: Orgasmic???? Coffee

Dear Coffee King

I write with reference to your claim regarding a certain bean based hot beverage and its ability to induce orgasm. I recently sampled said beverage and I am saddened and disappointed to have to report that whilst it could not be described as anything other than flavoursome and delicious, I feel I did not receive my full quota of orgasms.

Please accept this missive as formal notification of my intention to sue, unless you can formally assist me in achieving a sexual climax before the end of the day.

Yours

Captain Jack Harkness

**************************************

_From:_ Ianto Jones

_To:_ Jack Harkness

_Subject: _Bean????Based Beverage

Dear Captain Harkness

I respectfully refer you to section 28.7 and 28.8 of our terms and conditions;

_28.7 Ianto Jones Incorporate, also known as and hereto referred to as Coffee King, accept no responsibility for the lack of coffee induced sexual climax. Failure to achieve orgasm can occur for a number of reasons including but not limited to:-_

_Your coffee was brewed by an unregistered barista who has not completed a Patented Coffee Kings' How to Brew Orgasm Inducing Coffee© course._

_You partook of the coffee in conditions which render orgasm unachievable, ie the ambient temperature had dropped below freezing, you were attending a family funeral at the time, the barista reminded you of an elderly relative._

_You are impotent._

_28.8 No members of staff of Ianto Jones inc or Coffee King ltd is authorised to assist consumers in the fulfilment of coffee induced sexual fantasies. Please don't ask as testimony leading to inclusion on the sexual offenders register often offends._

I would also like to respectfully point out that the coffee plant is a member of the Rubiaceae family and not from the genus Leguminosae. The correct terminology is not coffee bean but coffee cherry and it is therefore a fruit based beverage.

Yours

Ianto Jones

aka Coffee King.

**************************************

_From: _Jack Harkness

_To_: Ianto Jones

_Subject: _I am willing to accept your cherry.

Dear Mr Jones

While I would be perfectly willing and happy to accept your cherry, I feel it is probably a little late for that. I would however, happily dip my cinnamon stick in your fruit based beverage.

Please forward me with a suitable appointment time for the afore mentioned dipping.

Yours

Captain Jack Harkness

**************************************

_From:_ Ianto Jones

_To:_ Jack Harkness

_Subject: _Cinnamon stick?

Dear Captain Harkness

I refer you again to section 28.8 of our terms and conditions.

I also feel that I should warn you that I will not tolerate cinnamon sticks anywhere near my fruit based beverage.

In the interests of customer relations, however, I have decided to allow you to shake your chocolate sprinkles in my milky infusion.

Please confirm that you are able to attend my address tomorrow night at 8 pm and I will make the necessary arrangements.

Yours

Ianto Jones

**************************************

_From: _Jack Harkness

_To_: Ianto Jones

_Subject_: Confirmation of my intention to shake my chocolate sprinkles

Dear Mr Jones

Whilst disappointed by your blatant prejudice against cinnamon sticks, I am happy to accept your offer and hereby withdraw my legal action against your company.

I look forward to seeing you tomorrow night at 8pm, wear the suit.

Yours

Jack

**************************************

Ianto's phone beeped telling him he had a text message.

_Ianto, _

_Please don't be _

_mad with me,_

_J_

**************************************

_Why would I_

_Be mad,_

_I_

**************************************

_I googled David_

_Brigstocke_

_J_


	11. Where are the chocolate sprinkles?

Ianto opened his front door and blinked in surprise.

It wasn't so much that it was Jack at the door; they had arranged a date after all. No, what left Ianto flabbergasted with his mouth hanging wide open, which he was sure was not a good look for him, was the fact that his boyfriend was looking extremely fuckable in tight jeans and fitted black tee-shirt with a rose clenched firmly between his teeth. He was also holding several more red roses in one hand and had an elaborately wrapped gift in the other.

"Er, arncth y' gunna invitch me in," Jack mumbled around the rose.

"Oh em, yeah. Sorry," Ianto opened the door wide and indicated for the older man to come in. "What are we celebrating?" he asked, taking the rose from Jack and planting a kiss on his lips.

Jack put his parcels down on the hall table and clasped his hands together over his heart, "You forgot," he mock pouted, "I can't believe you forgot."

Ianto shrugged his shoulders and shook his head, quizzically.

"Today is our one week anniversary, it's exactly one week since we...you know."

"Ah, C'm here, you idiot," Ianto smiled. He reached behind Jack's neck and pulled him forward for a kiss which Jack deepened, pushing his tongue against his lover's lips. Ianto suddenly found he had lost all capacity for conscious thought and after several heart stopping moments, Jack withdrew, brushing his lips gently against Ianto's nose as he pulled away.

"Are we going to talk about David Brigstocke," he asked

Ianto continued to stare dreamily at Jack. "Who's David Brigstocke," he murmured.

"Ianto......" Jack admonished.

The younger man sighed. "Fine," he huffed, "Come on through to the living room and we'll talk, but I'm opening my present first."

**********************************************

In sharp contrast to Jack's own home which seemed impossibly large for one man, Ianto's was impossibly small. From the outside the two properties were very similar, the difference being that Ianto only occupied part of the third floor of his building. It wasn't as if he couldn't afford something better. Although nowhere near as well paid as their football playing counterparts, he and his teammates were comfortably off, it was just that Ianto had moved in when he first returned to Cardiff and hadn't worked up the energy to look for something better yet. What Ianto laughingly referred to as the hallway was actually only 3ft by 3ft with doors leading off to the living room, kitchen and bedroom, the latter with ensuite shower room.

"Do you want something to drink?" Ianto asked.

"I'd love a beer."

"I'm going to assume by beer you mean larger. You'll have to be more specific if you are going to stay in Wales, Jack. We Welsh take our beer very seriously."

Ianto disappeared into the kitchen and returned a moment later carrying two bottles of larger, he handed one to Jack before joining him on the sofa.

"So, how long has David Brigstocke been following you?" Jack began.

"Do we really have to do this now?" Ianto grumbled .

"Ianto, this guy's a loser. He's a poxy reporter on a crappy local newspaper but he's trying to make a name for himself and he's not above writing gossip and rumour. He's also a tenacious bastard and if he thinks he knows something about you he's not going to let go until he has the proof and then he's going to out you."

Ianto slowly nodded his head, "Yeah, I know," he agreed.

"You need to tell your sister, before she reads about it in the paper."

"I know, you're right," Ianto sighed, "I'll ring her tomorrow and invite myself round for Sunday lunch. I'll tell her then. Oh by the way, Rhys's missus invited us for dinner on Saturday. You don't have to go though, if you don't want to," he continued shyly.

"I'd love to, I want to meet your friends," Jack assured him, "Now, where are the chocolate sprinkles."

**********************************************


	12. Your Friends are my Friends

**A/N: Apologies to any American football players/fans. The views expressed here belong to Rhys not me.  
**

When Jack said it he immediately became aware of three things. The first was that Gwen, the wife of his new boyfriend's best friend had impossibly wide eyes. The way her mouth was forming a silent "o" was kinda cute even if it was a little fish like. The second was that Ianto looked so damn hot with his gaze shifting nervously between him and Rhys that Jack had to sit on his hands just to stop from leaping across the table and taking him right there and then, social propriety be damned. The third was that Rhys had turned a peculiar colour which made Jack wonder if he wasn't a shape shifting alien because it shouldn't be possible for an actual bona fide earthling to be that particular shade of purple. All he said was he thought rugby was similar to football in some ways. They were acting as if he'd suggested Hitler was just a little misunderstood or that he, Gwen and Ianto should have a threesome while Rhys watched. _Hmmm, now there's a thought._

"Rugby," Rhys enunciated, "is nothing at all like American Football for the simple reason that American Football is played by a bunch of poofters.......... no offence, Ianto."

"None taken," Ianto sniggered

"Oh god," Gwen wailed, "Rhys the rant. We'll be here all night now."

"For one thing," Rhys continued, ignoring his wife's comment, "if you took away all the padding most of them are 12 stone weaklings who'd be knocked down by anything worse than a gentle breeze. Rugby players are hard. We have to be 'cause it's so dangerous, last game we had seven men stretchered off; And for another thing...."

"Enough, Rhys!" Gwen shouted, "He's not interested."

"Look, I'm Sorry," the American looked suitably chaste, "I hereby swear never to mention football in the same sentence as rugby ever again. Erm, Ianto," he continued, turning to his lover, "Do you get injured much?"

The Welshman smiled, it was nice having someone who was worried about him. "Not as much as Rhys," he assured. "I don't take part in the scrum and that's where most of the injuries happen. Mostly I stand at the back and catch the ball if it comes near the goal or grab anyone who gets passed the other defenders. Sometimes I get kicked in the face during a tackle but that's all. It's the forwards who get all the danger.....and all the glory."

"Oh, I don't know. You seemed popular the night I met you."

"That's because he's pretty," Gwen explained. "The girls love him."

".... not to mention the other pretty boys," her husband quipped.

"Besides, you should see what happens when Rhys and I go out. Now can we please change the subject? It's rugby, rugby, rugby all the time with these two," Gwen exclaimed. "Let's do something else. We could play a game or something."

"Have you got any cards?" Jack asked.

"That's a bit grown up for one of our dinner parties." Rhys laughed. "Besides we can't play card games because of Ianto's _special ability_."

"Huh," Jack looked blank.

"He hasn't shown you his party trick yet, then."

"Oh please," Ianto begged, "I was hoping to go a few more weeks before my freakishness was revealed."

The older Welshman left the room, returning after a few moments with a pack of cards. He shuffled them and handed them to Ianto, who sighed but took the cards anyway. He laid them out on the table, placing them face up in front of him and looking at them for a few moments before gathering them up and handing them back to his friend.

"You are going to love this. It's seriously weird."

Ianto rolled his eyes. "Ace of Diamonds," he announced reluctantly.

Rhys turned over the top card showing that it was indeed the Ace of Diamonds. The two men continued in this way until all the cards had been named correctly.

"Wow," Jack cried. Ianto couldn't help but smile under his lover's enthusiasm. "You're amazing. You'd make a fortune in Vegas."

Rhys stared to laugh but the younger man stopped smiling and looked a little green.

"Ok, what did I say now?"

"Two years ago. End of season. Lad's weekend away," Rhys gasped. "Las Vegas," he went on before collapsing in a heap, holding on to his sides and shaking with laughter.

"It's not funny," Ianto huffed, "I thought they were gonna throw my arse in jail and I'd have to wear one of those horrible orange jumpsuits."

"Have you ever been to Las Vegas, Jack? There's a picture of Ianto up in all the major casinos. If he ever get's within five feet of any of them again, they'll arrest him."

"How was I supposed to know card counting was illegal."

Jack was staring at Ianto with a dreamy, faraway look in his eyes.

"Er, Jack." Gwen clicked her fingers and waved her hand in front of his face.

"Oh, sorry," he said, "I was just picturing Ianto in an orange jumpsuit."

**************

The four friends moved over to the lounge area where Jack sat on the sofa, Ianto sat on the floor in front of him with his head resting on Jack's knee. Rhys sat at the other end of the sofa while Gwen was opposite him in an armchair with her feet up in his lap. She had kicked off her shoes and Rhys was giving her a foot rub. Jack was relaxed and happy and he gently stoked Ianto's head, running his fingers through his hair as they talked, while his young lover hummed appreciatively every now and again.

"So, Jack. You realise if you keep going out with Ianto you'll be a WAG," Gwen slurred, the wine starting to go to her head. "We usually meet up on match nights, you should join us."

Ianto lifted his head. He wasn't sure why, but Jack spending an evening with a bevy of gorgeous females bothered him a little. Oh hell, what was he on. Of course he knew why it bothered him.

"Jack will never be a WAG, Gwen."

"No, he won't," Rhys replied, "Because you will quite clearly always be the wife."

"Oh, listen to you, Mr. I cook a mean risotto. You'll make someone a lovely wife yourself some day."

"Oi," Gwen shrilled, "No he won't, 'cause he's my wife thank you very much."

"Children, please." Jack interjected, "Why can't I be a WAG Ianto, I want to be a WAG. I'd make a good WAG. What do WAGs do anyway?"

"Come round next match day and you'll find out." Gwen replied cheekily.

"Great," Jack grinned.

Ianto felt sick.

******************

Gwen sat up and stretched, "Well," she yawned, "If you don't mind I'm going to leave you boys to it. Stay as long as you want though. There's more wine in the fridge."

She stood up to leave the room and Jack lifted Ianto's head out of his lap before standing up himself. Unprepared for the sudden change in altitude, the Welshman's head flopped back and a loud crack was heard as his skull came into contact with the sofa's wooden arm rest.

"Ow," he cried.

Jack looked at him but didn't say anything. He crossed the room towards Gwen, kissed her on the cheek and said, "Thank you for a lovely evening."

Ianto wasn't sure if it was the old fashioned charm that annoyed him more or the way his boyfriend was smiling that special smile at his best friend's wife.

"Well, it's late," Jack announced, "I think I should be off too, you coming, Ianto?"

"Er, if you don't mind, I think I'll just go home. I'm tired and I've got that thing with my sister tomorrow."

"Oh, are you sure, I'd offer to drive you but I'm over the limit."

"It's fine, Jack. I'll get a taxi."

"Ok." Jack seemed to think for a few moments before continuing, "have I done something to upset you?"

"No, like I said, just tired," the other man replied. He got up and walked Jack over to the door.

Jack went to kiss him but Ianto placed a hand on his chest to prevent the kiss from deepening. The American pulled away and frowned. "Er Okay, I'll call you in the morning," he said.

"Yeah, you do that." Ianto pushed him out and shut the door in his face.

******************

"Okay, what was that about?" Rhys asked.

"What was what about?"

"That, don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. One minute you're all loved up, the next you're shoving him out the door like he's got the plague or something."

"It's nothing, like I said just tired."

"Don't give me that. You might be able to fool him with that crap, which I don't think you did by the way, but you can't fool me."

Ianto took a deep breath which he let out in a sigh. "It's just. Oh I don't know I'm probably being silly. You saw how he was with Gwen. Can you imagine how he's going to act around the other guy's wives? Some of them are really pretty. Not that Gwen isn't. Pretty I mean. She is that's the problem."

"What are you prattling on about, Jack's gay."

"No he's not, he's bi."

"Oh."

"Exactly."

"Still, I'm sure you're just being insecure. The way he was looking at you. It's obvious he's really in to you."

"I hope you're right, Rhys because right now I think I might be really into him......I think I might.....love him."

******************


	13. To sisters and new beginnings

Ianto opened his eyes, pulled back the covers and groaned. Swinging his legs over the edge of the bed he held his head in his hands and willed the room to stop spinning. He tried to clear his head, thinking about what he had told Rhys the night before. He had no idea why the hell he'd said it, and to Rhys of all people. His only hope now was that his friend was too hammered to remember it. Sighing, he rose to his feet and staggered to the bathroom to begin his Sunday morning routine.

Ianto had a routine for everything. He liked routines. You knew where you were with them. As long as he could follow them at least partially, he was happy and sane. He could even cope if some things didn't quite go according to plan. If the store was out of his usual brand of coffee, for example, he could grit his teeth and buy another brand. He didn't have to have a nervous breakdown over it. It was only when a lot of things started going awry at once that he became a little irrational, and the last time that had happened he'd still been away at University. Thankfully, no one in his life now knew about that, not even Rhys or his sister. He slipped a pair of jogging bottoms over his boxers and headed to the kitchen to start making the first coffee of the day.

He never did anything the easy way and that included making coffee. If you were going to drink the stuff, you didn't just heap a couple of teaspoons of instant into a cup and boil a kettle. Even such concepts as "pre-ground" beans and electronic coffee makers made him shudder.

The secret of making a good coffee was surprisingly simple and it amazed him that his friends were in awe of his talent. After all, anyone could do it. It was just a matter of using the right equipment and remembering a few basic rules. – Always keep your machine scrupulously clean, never buy beans in bulk, don't grind them too fine or too course, use just the right amount of coffee and always and I mean always use filtered water.

While he waited for the familiar sounds and scents to fill his kitchen, he thought about what he was going to say to Rhiannon later that day. Now the time had come, he was actually quite calm and relaxed about the whole thing. He knew there'd been a distance between them for some time and that was mostly down to him. She didn't deserve to be kept in the dark; after all she practically brought him up after their mother died, but he'd been afraid she would be disappointed in him. He knew now he'd made a mistake not telling her sooner but the longer he'd left it, the harder it had become. He smiled to himself as he poured the coffee, raising the mug in a salute before taking a sip. "To sisters and new beginnings" he toasted.

Now all he had to do was invent an amnesia pill for Rhys.

*******************

Ianto parked his car outside Rhiannon's home and looked up and down the street, marvelling at how little it had changed in all the time he had known it. He'd always had mixed feelings about visiting his sister because she still lived in the same house they'd grown up in and going back there stirred up too many memories. His childhood had not been a happy one and Ianto wasn't sure who to blame for that. Sometimes he was certain the guilt lay with his Dad for not trying harder to understand the son he thought of as a little odd. The "gifted" label had given his Dad an outlet for his paternal pride but only served to emphasis Ianto's differences in a time and place where fitting in was the key. At other times, he wondered if it wasn't his innate tendency towards pessimism that shaped his memories of childhood. Maybe, it hadn't been that bad after all. All he knew for certain was he had never really fitted in here and the local estate kids made his life hell for it.

Fighting back waves of melancholic reflection, he walked up to the house and used his key to let himself in.

"Rhiannon, it's me," he shouted.

"In here, Ianto."

He followed the sound of her voice, stopping dead in the doorway as he noticed she was giving him _**the**_ look. As much as he loved his sister, she'd always managed to reduce him to a weeping knot of guilt and remorse with that look.

"What have I done?" he gulped, trying to remember he was a grown man now, not a little boy desperately eager to please his big sister.

She gestured towards the table in front of her and Ianto noticed she had been reading the local paper. Moving closer, his eyes were drawn to the page and he immediately felt his knees give way as he read the by line......b_y David Brigstocke. _He sank into the chair opposite her.

He closed his eyes, praying the newspaper would somehow disappear. When he opened them again, he looked away, delaying the inevitable moment when he would read the headline and know for certain what the article was about.

"Well, is it true?" she demanded, "because if not you should sue."

Ianto finally let his gaze fall on the paper, reading the headline upside down.

"**SECRET LIFE OF BLUE'S FULL BACK." **

He sighed "I won't be suing," he mumbled.

"Bloody hell, Ianto, why didn't you tell me sooner?"

*************************

"I'm not angry you're gay, Ianto. I don't care who you sleep with as long as you're careful. You are careful, aren't you?"

"Rhiannon, please!" he spluttered. He really didn't want to have that conversation with her. "I'm a big boy now."

"Okay," she conceded, "but you know you can get condoms for free though don't you?"

He stuck his fingers in his ears, "La la la, not listening," he yelled.

"Oi, you're not too old for a clip around the ear," she rebuked him fondly; "I just don't know why you thought you couldn't tell me."

"That's just it Rhi, I didn't think, not really. I thought you'd hate me."

"I could never hate you, Ianto." She leant across the table and held her arms open. Ianto was reminded of the times he'd fallen over as a toddler and she had always been ready with a hug to make him feel better. "I love you," she cried.

He smiled brightly despite the tears he felt pricking his eyes. "I love you too," he croaked as they hugged.

"Now come on, enough of that," she sniffed. "How about I put the kettle on and you can tell me all about what you've been up to the last few years."

Ianto's eyes widened as he watched her leave the room. "Fuck," he mouthed to her retreating back.

****************************

"To be honest Ianto, I did always wonder."

"How, so? I didn't think I was that obvious."

"Oh, come on. You screamed like a girl when I suggested you wear the green tie with the blue shirt."

"That's not being gay, that's just having good taste."

"Then there's your facebook activity."

"Huh"

"Ianto!" she admonished, "you know what I'm talking about, what was the last quiz you took?"

Ianto hung his head but a smile ghosted his lips as he confessed, "Which Disney princess are you?" he admitted.

"...and your "Pick your Five" all time favourite movies included Mama Mia, Brokeback Mountain and The Wizard of Oz."

"So, they're all classics."

"Yes, gay classics."

*****************

"Okay Rhi," he huffed, "apart from my occasional girlish screaming, habit of completing personality quizzes involving random Disney characters, impeccable taste in clothing and interior design, graceful poise which by the way is not light footedness, thank you very much, the fact that according to you all my favourite films are gay and the fact that I can name all of Abba's top ten hits...Apart from all that, it not that obvious."

"Well, there was that time when you were heavily into amateur dramatics."

Ianto sighed, "Okay, apart from a minor interest in musical theatre, occasional girlish screaming......"

"Give it up, Ianto. You are sooo gay."

He stuck his tongue out at her.

"Stop oppressing me, Rhiannon!"

**************************


	14. Queer

Ianto chuckled. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had this much fun with his sister. Now he wasn't holding himself in check around her, it was as if a barrier had been lifted and they were regaining some of the closeness they'd had as children. Sitting together now, side by side on Rhiannon's battered leather sofa, holding hands without any hint of embarrassment or discomfort, he let his head fall back and turned towards her. "I've enjoyed this," he said, "us being like this."

"Me too," she replied, "and if you ever think about keeping things from me again, just don't."

"Scouts honour," he smiled, holding up three fingers in a salute.

"Oooh, I've just thought of something," Rhiannon exclaimed letting go of his hand and sitting up, "I know this lovely boy, works in the post room at work."

"Rhiannon, NO!" he shouted, "Don't you think it's time you spent some time thinking about your own love life instead of mine. You haven't been with anyone since....." he trailed off leaving the sentence unfinished.

"It's ok, Ianto. You can say it, since Dai left. I know you're right, just never seem to find the time or the inclination these days."

"Anyway, you don't have to worry about me" he assured her, "I've got a boyfriend; at least I think I have."

Rhiannon frowned. "You think you have, you don't know?"

"It's complicated. I mean, I like him, I like him a lot and he says he likes me but...."

"But?" she asked.

"Jack likes everyone. He'd flirt with a lamppost and he's bi so more than half the population are available to him. Plus he's gorgeous, real film star looks. I can't work out what he's doing with me."

She tutted and rolled her eyes. "He should consider himself lucky to have you," she scolded "and if he can't see that maybe you should tell him to get stuffed."

"Hmmm, maybe," he answered, non-commitedly, "It doesn't matter now anyway, I think I've messed it up."

"Oh?"

"Last night Jack was just being Jack but I got jealous and was a bit of a dick. He said he'd phone me this morning but he didn't."

As if on cue, Ianto's phone rang. Rhiannon looked away as he answered it, trying to give her brother some privacy.

"Hi Jack," he said, "I was just talking about you."

Even though Rhiannon had turned away, she could hear the huge grin plastered all over his face in his voice.

"I know. Listen, Jack. I'm sorry about last night. I was wrong. I think I'd had too much to drink.......thanks, you we're a bit. I can't, I've got practice in the morning. I could meet you for lunch afterwards? Great. I'll ring you tomorrow. Jack, I....yeah, bye."

"So, how long have you been in love with him?" She asked as he snapped the phone closed.

"Bloody hell, Rhi," he cried, "Who said I'm in love with him,"

"I did, it's obvious," she replied, "to me anyway. I know everything."

"Er, aren't you forgetting you didn't know anything about me until a few hours ago."

"Ah, yes. But that was different, you were hiding. Now you're being open with me, I know everything."

"Oh, shit. I'm screwed," he grimaced.

"Yup, you are. Now, since I haven't made anything for lunch how about we go out. You're buying."

He smiled. "Sounds good."

Grabbing her coat and keys from the hall, she opened the door and gestured to him, "After you," she said.

She shut the door and locking it behind her, turned to him, still smiling and opened her mouth to say something. She stopped suddenly and closed her mouth again as she noticed her brother standing motionless and staring straight ahead with a shocked expression on his face. She followed his gaze and felt her heart drop when she saw it. Ianto's car was as spotless and sparkling as ever, except for the word **QUEER **emblazon in two foot high, black letters across its flank.

She patted him on the shoulder causing him to jump slightly. He turned to look at her, eyes glistening. He shook his head slightly and shrugged as if unable to comprehend the meaning of the word.

Rhiannon felt her heart breaking and hoped it was not a sign of things to come.

"I'll go get a sponge," she sighed.

********************************


	15. Serge

_Jack Harkness has entered the conversation_

Jack: Hey gorgeous

Ianto: Hey

Jack: I've just seen the paper, why didn't you tell me?

Ianto: Dunno  
Ianto: I was having such a happy day with my sister.  
Ianto: Didn't seem important then.

Jack: Did you get to tell her or did she read it in the paper first.

Ianto: She read it first, she was mad as hell but she got over it.

Jack: Good, I'm glad.  
Jack: Why did you say didn't seem important _**then**__._  
Jack: Is it important now.

Ianto: *sigh* My car was vandalised.  
Ianto: It had a rude word plastered down the side.

Jack: What was the word?

Ianto: Queer

Jack: That's not so bad  
Jack: We're here, We're Queer, Get over it  
Jack: Could have been worse.

Ianto: Great, you drive around with the word queer daubed on your car in foot high letters then.  
Ianto: Anyway, they obviously weren't that bright.  
Ianto: They used emulsion paint so it wiped straight off.  
Ianto: Probably just estate kids.

Jack: How do you feel about being outed?

Ianto: It's not how I planned to do it but.....  
Ianto: If anyone has a problem they'll just have to get over it.  
Ianto: Practice tomorrow should be fun. No idea how the guys are going to take it.

Jack: Sorry, wish I could be there for you.

Ianto: *giggles* imagine how that would go down  
Ianto: Erm hi Guys, yes it's true I'm gay. BTW, meet my boyfriend.

Jack: Okay, maybe not.  
Jack: Boyfriend, eh

Ianto: *blushes furiously*

Jack: Don't be embarrassed, I like it.  
Jack: Talking about meeting your boyfriend.  
Jack: Gwen asked me over to hers on Friday to meet the WAGS  
Jack: I won't go if you don't want me to

Ianto: I can't stop you seeing whoever you want  
Ianto: but why do you want to hang about with a load of girls  
Ianto: Unless you fancy one of them

Jack: I fancy you  
Jack: I won't say Gwen's not cute but she's not you

Ianto: Okay, I guess.

Jack: Are you sure you don't want me to come over tonight.  
Jack: I could give you a neck rub.

Ianto: Neck rub, is that a euphemism.

Jack: Are you suggesting I have ulterior motives.

Ianto: Do you answer every question with a question?  
Ianto: Wait. brb

_Ianto Jones has set his status as away_

_Ianto Jones has set his status as online_

Jack: Where did you go?

Ianto: Sorry Serge was nudging me.

Jack: OKAY, WHO'S SERGE AND WHY IS HE NUDGING YOU!

Ianto: Jealous, Jack?

Jack: Me, never. NOW WHO IS HE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ianto: *rolls eyes* He's my chess coach.  
Ianto: He get's annoyed if I take too long to have my go.

Jack: Only you Ianto, would have a chess coach.  
Jack: Been learning long?

Ianto: I'm not exactly learning. I've been playing since I was four.  
Ianto: Serge just helps me improve my game.

Jack: Serge, eh  
Jack: Is he an Elderly, wizened Eastern European peasanty type?

Ianto: No actually, He's youngish. Beautiful blond, Baltic god type.  
Ianto: Don't be jealous though.  
Ianto: Serge and I agreed long distance relationships don't work out, especially when the distance is 1500 miles.  
Ianto: he's in Moscow.

_Rhys Williams has entered the conversation._

Rhys: Hi, Ianto. I saw the paper, you ok?

Ianto: Fine, not looking forward to practice tomorrow.

Rhys: I'll be there for you, don't worry.

Ianto: Thanks but don't get in a fight because of me  
Ianto: talk to Jack for a minute.  
Ianto: brb

_Ianto Jones has set his status to away_

Rhys: errrh, Jack?

Jack: Rhys?

Rhys: Jack

Jack: Rhys

Rhys: Jacky boy.

Jack: DON'T call me that.

Rhys: Why? Sorry, did I say something wrong?

Jack: Ex-boyfriend used to call me that, just rather not be reminded of him.

Rhys: Sorry, didn't know

Jack: s'okay.

_Ianto Jones has set his status to online_

Rhys: Ianto, you're back!  
Rhys: Where did you go.

Jack: He's playing chess with.....Serrrrr jaaaay. ......Grrrr

Rhys: Serge?

Jack: You know him?

Rhys: Know of him.  
Rhys: He's an Elderly wizened Eastern European Peasanty type.

Ianto: Oooooops, sorry. Gotta go

_Ianto Jones has left the conversation._

Jack: Great, you've scared him off now and I was hoping to have cyber sex tonight.

Rhys: okkkaaayyy!  
Rhys: Well, hmm. Yesssss.....  
Rhys: _IthinkIcanhearGwencallingmegottagobye_!

_Rhys Williams has left the conversation._

_Jack Harkness has left the conversation_

***********************************

Later:

_Jack Harkness has entered the conversation_

Jack: Hey

Ianto: Hi.

Jack: You still up? I thought you were having an early night.

Ianto: I'm not up; I'm in bed on my laptop

Jack: In bed, eh  
Jack: So, whatch ya wearing?

Ianto: Hmmm, I'm wearing my superman pyjamas  
Ianto: But I'm sooo hot  
Ianto: I think I'm gonna have to strip off.

Jack: Oh, Yeah, strip for me.

Ianto: Don't ya want to know what's got me all hot and bothered.

Jack: Don't care, just get those damn clothes off.

Ianto: I'm gonna tell you anyway.  
Ianto: I'm looking at porn.  
Ianto: There's this one guy.....

Jack: oooooh! Send me a link, send me a link.

Ianto: www. hotgayguys. com

Jack: Oh, yeah. He's cute.  
Jack: He'd make a lovely sandwich filling.  
Jack: Don't ya think?

Ianto: Tell me what you'd like to do to him.  
Ianto: No wait  
Ianto: tell me what you'd like to watch him do to me.

_Ianto moaned and snuggled further under the covers curling his fingers around his cock. He had a feeling it was going to be a long night._

******************************

**A/N: Sorry for leaving it there, you'll just have to use your imaginations. I wanted to write the rest of this scene but I also want to keep the T rating. Maybe I'll write it later as an interlude.**


	16. Insults and new friends

Standing outside the stadium changing rooms, Ianto took a moment or two to steel himself. Taking a deep breath, he pushed open the door and stepped nervously into the room. The sudden drop in the noise level hit him like a blow to the stomach as fourteen pairs of eyes turned towards him. He froze, trying to think of something witty to say but coming up blank.

Ianto hated being the centre of attention. It was one of the many ways in which he differed from his sister, Rhiannon. She was never happier than when she was playing up to a roomful of people whereas he had spent a lifetime trying, and it had to be said, failing to blend in. He sometimes wondered if one or both of them had been found under a mulberry bush because they sure as hell didn't share enough genetic traits to have come from the same gene pool.

Ianto's terrified mind closed down as he started to hum tunelessly in his head in an attempt to block out what was happening. He closed his eyes in much the same way small children put their hands over their eyes when they don't want to be seen. If I can't see them, they can't see me. That's right, isn't it?

Just as he thought he might actually achieve a state of catatonic oblivion, he felt himself barrelled off his feet as he was grabbed in a bear hug and thrown up against the wall.

"Hey, Gayboy! You taking it up the arse now."

Ianto wondered if Johnny Davis's outburst would make things slightly better or infinitely worse.

"Put the shirtlifter down Davis, you don't know where he's been." Ah w_orse then, _Ianto thought. Barry Austin wasn't exactly known for his liberal views.

"Oi," Rhys yelled, "There's no need for that."

"No there isn't," Johnny agreed, "I was only having a laugh, Ianto's one of us."

Austin scoffed, "Speak for yourself, Davis. I ain't one of them. And I'm not sure we want him in here when we're changing. It's not natural."

Ianto looked around the room, "You want me to go change somewhere else?" he whimpered.

"No!" Rhys bellowed.

No-one else spoke as Austin glared at Ianto, Rhys glared at Austin and everyone else found something interesting to look at either on the floor or the ceiling.

"Right," Ianto sighed, picking up his kitbag from where it had fallen, "I'll use the away team changing rooms then."

Rhys opened his mouth to say something else but Ianto looked at him and shook his head,

"Leave it, Rhys," he said sadly.

****************************

As soon as he was alone, he threw his kit bag on the floor, grabbed a handful of hair in both hands and growled. "Damn it" he yelled, flopping down on the bench.

"Hey." Rhys popped his head around the door. "Calm down. Austin is an idiot but the rest of the team will come round in a week or two."

"I hope you're right, Rhys because it's like school all over again and I don't think I could go through that now."

Rhys draped an arm around his friend's shoulder. "I didn't really know you back then," he said, "I would have stood up for you if I had."

"I know you would, you're a good friend."

"Room for one more," They both looked up as Johnny walked in. "Listen, Ianto. I just want to say, I don't side with that lot. If there's anything I can do..."

He held out this hand and Ianto took it, clapping the other man's shoulder with his free hand. "Thanks," he said. He cocked his head to one side and studied Johnny quizzically.

"What?"

"I was just wondering if you're single."

Johnny threw up his hands. "Whoa," he sputtered, taking a step backwards, "When I said anything...."

Ianto rolled his eyes, "Not for me, twpsyn. I was thinking of my sister."

"Ah, is she hot?"

"Yuk. How would I know. She's my sister. And I'm gay. And more importantly... she's my sister."

**************************

Two hours later, Ianto had had enough. He was wet, he was muddy and Barry Austin had just pushed him over for the fourth time. He had made it look like a bad tackle every time but the way he snarled, "oops, sorry," or "don't know my own strength," had made it clear it wasn't an accident.

Rhys jogged over, held out his hand and pulled Ianto up.

"Don't let him get to you," he said, "he's just trying to provoke a reaction."

"What's up, Rhys," Austin sneered, "Sticking up for your boyfriend?"

Rhys scowled at him, "Real mature, Barry."

"I can't think why else you'd be so worried about the freak."

Before Rhys could stop him Ianto stalked over, pushed his tormentor over, dropped to his knees and straddled the other man, one hand either side of his head. He leaned in so close their noses were almost touching and for a second Barry thought he was going to kiss him, "I. Am. Not. A. Freak." He growled

"What the fuck is going on." Coach Andrews crouched down, glaring at Ianto angrily. Ianto growled again but made no other outward sign that he had heard anyone approach.

"It's him, he's gone mad," Barry grunted.

"Well, Ianto" Coach asked, "have you got anything to say."

Rhys crouched and placed on hand on his friend's shoulder.

"Ianto," he coaxed, "Coach is speaking to you."

The younger Welsman sat back on his haunches, looking at Austin as if he was seeing him for the first time. Startled he leaped up, taking two or three steps backwards, his eyes darting from Rhys to the Coach and then back to Austin on the ground.

"I told you, he's fucking crazy."

"Right Ianto," Coach yelled, "go in and get changed. NOW!."

Ianto stiffened, breathing in and out a few times over his clenched teeth before turning around and stalking off the pitch.

He had only gone a few steps when he heard the Coach shout again. He stopped for a second but didn't turn around, before continuing on his way, the words still ringing in his ears.

"Oh and Jones, I want you to come in tomorrow for a disciplinary. I've no doubt you'll be suspended for this."

**************************

Ianto leaned his head against the tiled wall of the shower block as he let the water cascade over his back and shoulders. He watched the muddy water swirl around before it disappeared down the grate at his feet. He took a deep breath and exhaled noisily before grabbing a bottle of shower gel and scrubbing his whole body clean. He turned off the shower and took a towel from the shelf on his way out, wrapping it around his waist as he went.

He came to a stop, almost dropping his towel and shouting out in surprise.

"Dr Harper," he said, "you scared me. I didn't hear you come in."

Yeah, I'm pretty good at sneaking up on people and please call me Owen, everyone else does."

"Sorry. Owen."

"What are you doing in here anyway? Why aren't you in the other changing room with everyone else? I've been looking everywhere for you."

"You were looking for me. Why?"

"I'm just making sure you're okay," Owen said.

"I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Oh, I don't know, let's pretend I'm your doctor for one minute. Oh wait we don't have to pretend do we? I am your doctor. I'm the team medic. It's my job to make sure you're ok?"

"Like, I said I'm fine."

Owen raised one eyebrow, "Look," he said, "You've got a mild case of OCD Ianto. It's usually nothing you can't handle, but when things start getting out of hand, it can cause problems can't it. I've seen your medical record, so let's not pretend you're fine."

Ianto shrugged. "I'm okay, really. Well not okay but it's not like before, not yet anyway."

"Right, that made sense," Owen snarked. "Tell you what; I'll make you a deal. I'll drop it for now but I want to see you again soon. He handed Ianto a card. "That's my mobile number; call me tomorrow to set up an appointment."

Without waiting for an answer, Owen slapped him on the back and was gone before Ianto could protest.

***********************************

Ianto dressed quickly and made his way out to the Stadium Car Park. He groaned as he spotted a familiar American car parked in a spot directly opposite the players' entrance. He stalked over, opened the passenger side door and slumped into the seat,

"What the fuck are you doing here," he huffed.

Jack stretched out his hand and stroked the hair on the back of Ianto's neck. "Well, you sure know how to make a guy feel wanted."

"Shouldn't you be at work?"

Jack sighed and took his hand away. "Rhys phoned, he was worried about you."

"Oh that's just fucking great, I'm not some fucking charity case, you know."

"Ianto, don't do this, please."

"What. Jack? Don't do what?"

"This," Jack yelled, throwing his arm out, "the hostility. Every time you get upset you push me away."

Ianto didn't know what to say. He knew Jack was right. It was a pattern he'd fallen into years ago without quite knowing why. He just didn't handle feelings very well. Jack on the other hand, was the kind of man who would organise a hug therapy workshop in his office because the photocopier had broken down again. He'd have everyone sitting around in a circle expressing their inner child and getting in touch with their chakra. Ianto smiled at the image of Jack and his colleagues bawling like babies and holding each other. It's a wonder they ever got any work done.

"What are you smiling at," Jack frowned.

"Nothing. Look, I'm sorry. You're right. I'm a stupid, stubborn Welshman and I don't deserve you."

"Good," Jack grinned, "I'm glad you realise it at last. Now seeing as how I'm the boss, I've given myself the rest of the day off, how about I take you back to my house and we make it a duvet day."

*************************

Jack sat up in bed resting against the headboard while Ianto had his back to him, sitting between his legs and snuggled into his chest. The American had wrapped his arms around his young lover and was gently nipping at his neck and shoulder. They had been sitting like this for about two hours and although they were both naked, neither one of them wanted to take it any further just yet. They were content to just hold each other and either chat about nothing in particular or sit in silence.

"Tell me something," Jack said.

"Of course, what do you want to know?"

"No, I mean just tell me something, anything, something about you I don't know."

"Erm. Okay." Ianto creased his brow for a moment or two to think before continuing "I hate tomato ketchup," he said, "I don't mean I dislike it, I mean I really, really hate it. If I go to a cafe and they've got it on the table I have to move it. It's so disgusting, I can't even look at it."

Jack laughed, "I thought everyone loved ketchup," he said.

"Well, I don't." Ianto shuddered. "It's your turn now," he went on, "tell me something about you."

Jack hesitated. Ianto had his back to him so didn't see the cloud that passed across his face for a second or two. "Oh I know," he smiled, "Jack Harkness isn't my real name." If Ianto had been looking he would have seen that the smile didn't quite reach his eyes.

The young Welshman shot up and turned around to face the other man, mouth hanging open.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Oh, god. This is so embarrassing." Jack exclaimed. "My parents were hippies, I only joined the military to piss off my Dad."

Ianto sat back down again. "Okay, but what's that got to do with you changing your name?" he asked. "Oh my god." he screeched as realisation dawned. "You've got one of those stupid hippy names like Rain or Ocean, or Wind haven't you?"

Jack buried his head in Ianto's shoulder. "Oh god, it's worse than that, much worse. It's so humiliating," he cried.

"Jack?"

Jack sighed, "It's Moonstar," he said.

"Oh, that's not so bad." Ianto tried not to laugh but frowned when he felt Jack's tummy moving up and down behind him. He turned to face his lover again and was surprised to see him suppressing a giggle. The American started to laugh, "Moonstar," he sniggered, "God Ianto, you are so easy to wind up."

Ianto grabbed a pillow from behind Jack and hit him with it, "And you are so dead," he pouted.

*************************

"Tell me something real this time." Ianto asked when they'd both stopped laughing and calmed down.

"I'm sorry about the name thing, but I really did join the military to piss my parents off. They were very anti-war, went on protest marches and everything. Can you imagine how embarrassing it was for them when I joined up?"

"Oh, my Dad was ashamed of me too," Ianto said sadly.

"I never said he was ashamed. I said he was embarrassed there's a difference and anyway, I'm sure your Dad was proud of you." _How could he not be, _Jack thought, _his son was a card counting, chess playing, physics busting genius and to top it all off, he played rugby in a country where the game was only slightly less important than breathing._

"No, he really wasn't," Ianto asserted. "If he was still alive, the gay thing would be the final nail in the coffin."

"What about your Mom," Jack queried, "you never talk about her,"

"Oh, she died when I was about four." Ianto shrugged. "It's not true what, they say you know?"

"Huh?"

"You do miss what you've never had."

Jack felt his heart breaking for his young lover. He wrapped his arms around him tighter, pulling him up so he was practically sitting on his lap. Ianto turned his head and kissed Jack. Even at the funny angle the kiss had them both panting and wanting more. "Come on," Ianto said, "this is getting too depressing now, let's do something fun."

"Oh, yeah," Jack grinned, "like what."

"I'll draw you a diagram." The Welshman leered and turning around so that he was straddling his older lover he pulled him into the most sensual kiss Jack had ever experienced.

*************************

Lying spooned against Jack's back in post coital bliss, Ianto sighed contentedly. "Hmmm, that was nice," he mumbled, sleepily. Jack kissed the back of his neck before sitting up. "Where you going," Ianto yawned.

"Sshh, you have a nap. I'm just going to nip out and get us something to eat for later."

Ianto's only reply was a soft snoring noise . Jack rolled his eyes, quietly gathered up his clothes and quickly got dressed.

Walking down the stairs, he whistled for his dog, "Shush now," he whispered, "don't want to wake him, do we."

He sat down on the bottom step and patted the dog's head. "What the hell am I going to do, old girl," he sighed.

Cherry looked at him with big brown eyes as if she was contemplating the problem.

Jack really hadn't intended for the young Welshman to get in this deep. He knew he was going to have to tell him soon and the longer he left it the harder it would be for both of them. He really hadn't meant for Ianto to get hurt but that was inevitable now because Jack Harkness was harbouring a secret and when it came out, as it almost certainly would, the proverbial shit would hit the fan.

He sighed and gave Cherry a final pat on the head. Standing up he grabbed the lead from over the banister. "Not today though, eh girl," he said. What sort of bastard would it make him if he left him now when he needed him most? No, today he would make them both something to eat and spend the rest of the day under the duvet, maybe watch a movie or two. Then in a few weeks time when things settled down, he'd find a way to let the boy down gently.


	17. Discipline and Counselling

While Ianto sat outside the Team Manager's office the next day, he found himself reflecting on his early years again. The situation reminded him so much of all those other occasions he had sat outside an office; tear streaked cheeks at odds with the sense of satisfaction he had received from giving one of his tormentors a black eye, split lip or one memorable occasion, even a broken nose. Shy, quiet and unassuming, he may be but Ianto had a temper and when it got the better of him, he was quite capable of hurting people.

Ianto looked up as the office door opened and Barry Austin strolled out, giving the younger Welshman an evil leer as the door closed behind him. He walked down the corridor a few steps, turned around and thrust his hips at Ianto while blowing him a kiss. He laughed, skipping backwards a couple of steps before turning on his heels and continuing on his way.

Ianto thought about yelling something obscene but opted instead to roll his eyes and sigh. He was more than thankful he hadn't shouted "Fuck off, twat," when his Team Manager chose that very moment to open the door and call him in. The manager raised a disapproving eyebrow at his young team member's display of annoyance. "Are we boring you Jones," he growled. Ianto pulled himself up to his full height and coughed, "No, Sir. Sorry sir," he mumbled.

The rest of the meeting went by in a blur. Ianto said very little apart from the occasional "yes sir" or "sorry sir" Aled Hopkins the Team Captain apologised for not speaking up during the changing room incident and promised not to allow him to be pushed out again. The coach accepted that he should have intervened and he might have prevented the confrontation if he had acted sooner, and the Manager explained that Austin had also being reprimanded for his part in the incident and fined a week's pay. However, they all agreed that violence on the field could not be tolerated and therefore he was to be suspended without pay for two weeks.

The meeting came to an end and Ianto shook hands with them all, thanked them and promised to use the time to "get his head together." (Aled's words not his.)

He rang Owen and set up an appointment for later that afternoon and then rang Jack.

"Hey, Kiddo. How'd it go?" Jack queried.

"Not too bad, I think. I've been suspended for two weeks but that should be the end of it. Do you want to do something later?" Ianto asked, changing the subject.

"I've sort of got plans, just me and a couple of work colleagues. Actually you've met Tosh and Andy, you could come with?"

"Are you sure they won't mind."

"No way, Andy loves you. I might have to fight him for you."

* * *

Jack flipped his phone closed, sat back in his office chair and pinched the bridge of his nose. Hopefully, Ianto would never know that it had been part of Jack's plan to invite him along anyway. He had decided to set up another meeting between Tosh and Ianto a few days ago when he had first gotten the news that would finally set the two halves of his life on a collision course. Ianto would need a good friend when Jack was no longer around and Jack thought Tosh would fit the bill perfectly. It was amazing how similar they were, both shy and quiet but capable of fiery outburst when pushed, both brilliant but lacking in confidence, so much so that people often mistook their self deprecation for false modesty, both the product of single parent and slightly dysfunctional families, one damaged irrevocably by bad ass under-parenting the other equally victimised by bad ass over-parenting. Even all the way from Japan, Tosh's mother exerted her influence on almost every aspect of her daughter's life. Both we're pushed too hard and both burned out at an early age, neither achieving their full potential. They would definitely be good for each other, although Jack had no illusions that he was still a selfish bastard at heart. This wasn't about what was good for Tosh and Ianto; this was about allaying his own guilt for getting them into this mess in the first place.

* * *

Dr Owen Harper stared at the disarray that was his desk and tried to remember where he had put his coffee. Desperate for his caffeine fix, he began to look under random files and bits of paper, picking them up and throwing them down again haphazardly. A sharp knock on the door frame temporarily halted his quest. "Ah, Ianto. Just in time, come in." A further 10 seconds of hurling papers about was followed by Owen looking up, spotting the young Welshman still standing in the doorway.

"Well, are you coming in?" he frowned.

"Y y your desk," Ianto stuttered.

Owen looked at the desk, then back at Ianto, then back at the desk again and then back at Ianto.

"Ah, shit. Sorry, I didn't think. Let's get out of here before you give in to your urge to tidy it up. I can't risk you messing up my filing system. Tell you what, since I seem to have misplaced my coffee, you can take me out for a pint."

"What you mean like a date?" Ianto quipped.

"Ha bloody Ha, Jones. Glad to see you haven't lost your sense of humour."

* * *

"So Ianto," Owen began, taking a sip of his lager, "tell me about yesterday."

"I lost my temper is all. I was provoked."

"Maybe, but the way I heard it, you totally lost it out there."

"It wasn't like that," Ianto insisted, "he called me a freak and I saw red. I've got a short temper sometimes."

Owen pursed his lips and nodded impartially, "Hmmm, tell me about Liverpool then," he said.

"I thought you'd seen my record."

"I have, but that tells me the what, it doesn't tell me the how or the why."

I don't really know where to start," Ianto shrugged.

"Okay," Owen conceded, "how about I tell you what's on your medical record and we'll start from there."

Ianto nodded once.

"Right, Ianto Jones, diagnosed with mild OCD aged 17, caught shop lifting in a Liverpool Supermarket at aged 19. The desk Sergeant called in the duty doctor. The record doesn't say why but I'd hazard a guess that you we're displaying signs of distress or bizarre behaviour. This lead to a psychiatric referral and a diagnosis of General Anxiety Disorder, which by the way, is a technical term for 'I've no fucking clue what's wrong with you.' There's also a Social Work report in your medical notes. Anything you want to tell me about that?"

Ianto rubbed his eyes with the heel of his palm and sighed.

"Look, Ianto," Owen urged, "this isn't about prying or catching you out, this is about me understanding what happened so I can prevent it happening again if necessary."

Ianto looked at Owen, closed his eyes briefly before appearing to come to a decision.

"I really liked that Social Worker," he said, "Dave was his name. I had a lot of Social Workers growing up but he was one of the good guys, you know. I was lost for a while but he helped me a lot."

Ianto had been okay in his first year at University. Not happy exactly but then he'd never really been happy. In the first year he lived on campus, had his own room, and ate in the University canteen. He had company when he wanted but could retreat to the safety and comfort of his own flawlessly organised room when the rowdiness of the common room became too much. He got picked for the rugby squad and was popular with the girls, until he introduced them to his boyfriend, a guy named Mark, a local who he'd met in a club.

"So what went wrong?" Owen asked.

"I moved out of Halls and into a shared house. My housemates were slobs and I couldn't stand it. I'd try to tidy up after them but they'd make fun of me. Then, one or two of them cottoned on to my OCD and they would do things deliberately, like move my stuff around or mix up the cutlery drawer. I stopped going home and was basically living rough. Mark left me because I wasn't much fun to be around and I stopped going to lectures. When my student loan ran out, I started stealing food. That's why I was shop lifting."

"I'm sorry," Owen sympathised, "that's tough, but thing are better now, yeah??"

"Yeah and that's mostly down to Dave. He got me in to a hostel and encouraged me to come back to Cardiff. I'd already had a try out for the Blues and they had offered me a place on the squad once my studies were over, so I could come home anytime I wanted. The only thing standing in my way was my Dad. I knew he'd go mad and I couldn't even discuss it with him. And then he died. I still feel guilty about that. Of course I was upset, I never hated him but it was a relief for me. Apart from the fact that I don't think he ever liked me, I was finally able to make my own decisions."

"And you're happy now?"

Ianto smiled tightly. "I'm not even sure what happiness is. Most of the time, I'm content I think."

"Right," Owen drained his glass banging it down on the table in front of him, "I think we can leave it there for now but I want to meet again next week, is that ok?"

"Sure," Ianto nodded, "If it keeps you happy." He was surprised how cathartic their little chat had been and although he still hadn't told Owen the whole of it, he suspected the doctor knew that and would know what strings to pull to get the rest of the story out of him. The whole truth was that Ianto had had what his grandparent's generation referred to as a Nervous Breakdown. Usually they'd put the words in verbal italics, as in, "You know, Mrs Jones, lives on the corner, had a.." and looking around conspiratorially and whispering behind their hands they would continue, "..._Nervous Breakdown_."

* * *

"So when's your guy getting here?" Tosh teased.

"He's not my guy, Tosh. You make me sound about thirteen."

"Speak of the devil," Andy nodded towards the door as the man in question walked in closely followed by Gwen and Rhys.

"I hope you don't mind," Ianto asked, "I met these two outside and asked them to join us for one."

"Great," said Jack, "The more the merrier, plus two Blues players in one room, Andy thinks he's died and gone to heaven."

"Just ignore him," Andy glared at Jack. "I'm not that big a fan. Well okay, I'm borderline stalking you Rhys, but hey, it's nice to finally meet you in person instead of sitting outside your house taking surreptitious photos of you on my camera phone."

Rhys shook Andy's hand, "Ah that was you," he laughed, "knock on the door next time and I'll bring you out a coffee."

He sat down, "Now, whose round is it?" Almost before the words left his mouth, a hand reached across him and placed a pint of Brains SA down on the table in front of him. The owner of the hand patted him on the back and said, "Great match last week, well done."

"Cheers, Mate" Rhys held up his thumb and raised the glass in salute and Gwen rolled her eyes.

"Honestly, Rhys hasn't bought his own drink in 5 years. What about me? Ianto be a gentleman and get me a drink."

Jack stood up quickly before Ianto had a chance to say anything. "Let me," he said, "Never let it be said that Jack Harkness saw a lady in distress and did nothing." He took Gwen's hand and lifted it to his lips, bowing slightly. Ianto noticed he was giving her that smile again. Rhys growled.

"Sorry, Rhys," Jack said, a little too brightly, "Did you want to say something."

"Just get your hand off my missus, Harkness."

Ianto sighed. Honestly, Rhys had a point. Jack was practically hitting on Gwen and the two of them were forced to watch it. "Play nicely, Jack," he admonished. "Honestly you two, like stags butting antlers, I half expect you to get the measuring tape out."

Jack looked sheepish, he patted Rhys on the shoulder and grinned, "Hey, sorry," he said, "But honestly, you've nothing to worry about. I only have two rules in life. Number one, never wear white after Labour Day and secondly, never dip my cinnamon stick in another man's fruit based beverage." He winked at Ianto who smirked in return. Gwen laughed. "I have no idea what you're talking about half the time but the WAGS are going to love you. Will we see you on Friday?"

"Oh, yeah. Can't wait."

Ianto raised his eyebrows. "Oh, I er, I just thought....I mean I'm not playing on Friday now."

"What's the matter, Ianto. Don't trust me with a room full of beautiful women."

"Well, when you put it like that, no actually."

"Can we argue about this later," Gwen snapped, "My belly thinks my throat's been cut."

"I'll go," Ianto said, glowering at Jack. He took everyone's drink order and made his way over to the bar, giving Jack one more glare over his shoulder as he went.

"Ooops," Jack said, "looks like I'm in the dog house."

"I'm not surprised," Tosh scolded, "Jack Harkness, you can be such an idiot sometimes."

"Sorry, Tosh" he apologised.

"I don't think it's me you should be apologising to."

"Yeah, you're right," Jack grinned, "Sorry, Andy."

"JACK!!"

"Kidding, Tosh, I'm going okay, Jeesh."

He stood up and followed Ianto to the bar. As he approached he noticed that his young lover was talking to another man. He looked uncomfortable but not unduly upset and as Jack drew up he heard him thank the man and shake his hand. "What was that about," Jack asked.

"It seems news of my suspension has got around all ready. Apparently I'm in the paper again, David Brigstocke has written another piece about me and this time it sounds like an expose of my troubled personal life." Ianto used air quotes to show what he thought about the notion that his personal life was any business of Brigstocke's readers. "That guy was just saying he doesn't care as long as I play well."

"Well, that's good isn't it?"

"I dunno Jack; I just hate people gossiping about me. Haven't you noticed? We're being stared at."

Jack looked around the crowded pub and felt a little sick about the number of people who were looking and whispering. It wasn't so much for him, Jack couldn't care less what people thought of him but he knew Ianto hated being the centre of attention. What made it stick in his throat even more is these were the same people who a week ago would be slapping him on the back and asking for his autograph.

"We could give them something to look at." Jack smirked.

Ianto's eyes went wide with shock, "Oh my god, don't even think about it."

Okay, I'll be good," Jack laughed, "Listen, about Friday. I was thinking, if I go, I can turn on the Harkness charm. By the end of the evening the WAGS will think we're so cute they'll flay their husbands alive if they say anything to you."

"Maybe. Anyway, I can't stop you going if you want, just don't be too full on, please."

"Promise," Jack vowed, "I will be the picture of decorum."

Ianto scoffed. "Ha! That'll be a first then."

"By the way," Jack went on, picking up the tray of drinks, "If Tosh asks, I apologised to you all ready."

"But you didn't"

"I know but I will later, scouts honour."

* * *

Jack gritted his teeth. The evening wasn't going as planned at all. Andy, Rhys and Ianto were talking about the Blues' chances in Friday's match now that a reserve would be playing in place of Ianto while Gwen and Tosh talked about shoes and who was going to win the X-factor.

"So," he butted in, "Tosh plays chess, Ianto. Maybe you two should have a game sometime."

"You play chess?" Tosh exclaimed.

"Why do you sound so surprised?" Ianto replied, feeling a little hurt.

The American grinned, "You have no idea. He's a genius." He sounded like a proud father crowing about one of his children and Ianto blushed.

After that, Tosh and Ianto started a conversation about Quantum Mechanics which nobody else understood but which seemed to get the two of them more and more excited. When it came to say goodnight, Tosh had accepted an invitation to Ianto's flat on Friday evening for a chat and a game of chess.

Ianto let Jack hold his hand and did his best to ignore the stares, "Come on, time to go home," he said fondly. Ianto frowned as he followed Jack out of the pub. He hadn't missed the wistful look in his lover's eyes and he couldn't avoid the feeling that it didn't bode well for either of them.


	18. That Article

Back Page Editorial

By

David Brigstocke

Does This Spell the End of Welsh Dreams for Blues Full Back

It would appear that the troubled personal life of Ianto Jones continues to spill over into his professional life. This reporter learned today that the Cardiff Blues' full back has been suspended following an on pitch brawl with a fellow teammate. The two men came to blows after Jones took exception to comments made about his sexual preferences. An unnamed source at the club said, "Ianto was like a mad man, he just totally lost control and some of the guys were afraid he was really going to hurt someone."

However team Captain, Aled Hopkins has given Jones his full support. "The decision to suspend Ianto was taken with his full cooperation. He is aware that he has done wrong and feels terrible about it. When he returns in two weeks time we hope to draw a line under what happened. To a certain extent he was the victim of homophobic bullying and the other person involved has also been disciplined for his part in the incident."

That may be so, but some readers might be surprised to find out that this is not the first time Jones' hot temper has landed him in trouble. In fact he was cautioned by the police at the age of 15 following an incident at school in which another pupil suffered a broken nose. We tracked down the boy in question but he refused to comment beyond saying it was a long time ago and he'd rather forget it.

It would be hard to imagine a more difficult start in life for the young Blues' player. Born in Cardiff in 1983, he spent his early years living with his elder sister and father on the notoriously run down Ely council estate. His childhood appears to have been plagued by grief and depression following the death of his mother in 1987. A former neighbour remembers her as a kind hearted but strong willed individual with a passion for improving the local area. "She would do anything for you. She was always helping out at neighbourhood events or with local youth groups and if anyone in the street was in trouble you could be sure of a helping hand from her. When she died it was a tragedy for everyone but particularly for those kids. She doted on them, especially Ianto who in her eyes could do no wrong." The family were known to social services although why exactly they came to the attention of social workers isn't known. One can only imagine what might have gone on behind closed doors without the stabilising influence of a mother in the household.

Jones attended the local secondary school where teachers described him as a bright but deeply troubled young man, while fellow pupils remember a loner with poor social skills. One former pupil says of Jones, "He was a bit odd, if you know what I mean. Looking back, I wonder if he wasn't a little autistic. He was just so introverted and way too serious. He was bullied remorselessly but sometimes I think he was asking for it and he could certainly give as good as he got when he wanted to. Plus we all knew he was gay despite the fact that it seems to have come as a shock to everyone else."

He was tipped for great things at school but somehow never achieved his full potential, managing only to scrape through with enough passes to gain him a place on a Bsc Physics course at Liverpool University, which he dropped out of before finishing his degree.. In many of his teachers' eyes this only served to confirm his reputation as a bit of a drifter. We were able to speak to a former housemate of his from his university days who said, "He was hilarious, man. He was so full of himself and we all thought he was a prat. To be honest, I'm not proud of some of the things I did at the time but when we found out he was OCD we couldn't help ourselves. It was nothing serious, just silly little pranks that would have him in frenzy. It was hysterical."

Another unnamed source has also claimed that he suffers from OCD although we are not in a position to confirm or deny that. There are other rumours that he has had treatment in the past for another unconnected psychiatric condition.

We found a former boyfriend who asked not to be identified but who said, "He was one of the nicest guys I've ever met. I can't say a bad word about him except that he was a little too intense sometimes. I mean, we were only 19 but it felt like he wanted to settle down and all I wanted to do was have fun. I really shouldn't say this because I wouldn't want to hurt him but, no I wouldn't be surprised to learn he was mentally ill at the time."

Ianto Jones is an intensely private individual but in this humble reporter's opinion his lack of openness just leads to more speculation and is probably the reason why so many rumours abound around his off the pitch antics.

Pundits are predicting a great future in rugby for Mr Jones. This paper can exclusively reveal that he is being considered for the 2012 British Olympic Squad. However, his ambitions to join fellow teammates Rhys Williams and Johnny Davis in the Wales 15 next season have been seriously dented by his apparent lack of control on and off the pitch. One can only hope that he learns a lesson from this week's events and concentrates on making those ambitions a reality, if not for next season then for 2011/12.


	19. Chapter 18

Ianto took a deep breath and stared at the page, willing the words to disappear. They swam about in front of his eyes, but remained stubbornly glued to the newspaper.

"No, no, no, no," he shook his head. "Fuck."

He grabbed his phone from the kitchen counter and quickly pressed speed dial.

"Jack, please, don't read it, just don't, promise me please , say you won't read it."

"_Ianto, it's ok, calm down, It's fine."_

"Damn, you read it all ready didn't you. Fuck, Jack what am I going to do? He's making out I'm some kind of nutter, what are people going to think."

"_They'll think the same as I do, that you're an incredible, amazing, beautiful Welshman who hasn't always had it easy and if they think anything else they're not worth knowing."_

"That's easy for you to say. He said I was mentally ill and that could mean anything. It's not like I was ready for a strait jacket or a padded cell or anything. I just..." Ianto left the sentence hanging.

"_You don't have to explain yourself to me. When...If you're ready talk, I'll be here." _Jack swallowed, pushing down any lingering feelings of guilt. It would do Ianto no good for him to start pulling away now. _"You're not alone, you know."_

"What do you mean?"

"_I mean I understand what you're going through. It's not easy to talk about. The stigma. Worrying what people think about you._

"Are you telling me you've..."

"_Yeah, I guess I am. It was practically obligatory after the Gulf. All the guys suffered to some extent. We called it shell shock and just accept it as part of the job, like an occupational hazard. The psychologists called it PTSD. I was one of the lucky ones, I had counselling and I was on sick leave for six months but I was back on active service after that. Some of the guys were never the same again."_

"I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"_The point I'm making Ianto, is that there are thousands, millions of people who have had psychiatric treatment. I'm not going to think any less of you and neither are any of the people who care about you."_

"Thanks, Jack. I don't know how you do it but you always manage to make me feel better."

"_That's what I'm here for. You know, Brigstocke does have a point about one thing."_

"What's that?"

"_Maybe you should dispel all the rumours by putting it out there, telling your side of it."_

"You mean like give an interview?"

"_Could do, not to Brigstocke though, he'll just twist things. I was thinking more along the lines of an online blog or something"_

"You know, that's not a bad idea."

"_And if all else fails, I could always beat him up for you."_

"Oh yeah, I can see the headlines now, "Blues' Full Back's brutish boyfriend beats Brigstocke."

_"Nice use of alliteration"_

"Alliteration's always good."

* * *

A/N I know this is a short chapter. That's because the next one, which I am publishing straight away has to stand alone, for reasons which will become obvious.

Please read Author's notes at the beginning of the next chapter or it won't make sense.


	20. Ianto Tweets

**A/N T****his is meant to be Ianto's Twitter account so it won't make sense unless you start at the ****bottom and read up.**

**Oh, and I'm sorry but you might find that some posts are more than 140 characters, I don't know because I haven't counted.**

* * *

Early night tonight. Practice session first thing in the morning. Hoping everything goes okay. Watch this space. Will update tomorrow.

_1 day ago from web_

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I know, we're cuter than a sack full of fluffy bunnies .....squeee!!!

_1 day ago from web in reply to JapeneseGirl  
_

_*  
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Woke up this morning, found Jack in my bed, woke up again and realised it wasn't a dream....Awww!!!

_1 day ago from tweetie_

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Oh my. That was....WOW! I think I'm going to faint. Completely incoherent now. Don't think we'll be allowed back here though.

_2 days ago from iphone_

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Jack's got a twinkle in his eye, got a feeling he is going to give the waiter something to look at next time he comes over.

_2 days ago from iphone_

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Disappointed with restaurant. Food passable but waiter really snotty. He keeps looking down his nose at us.

_2 days ago from iphone_

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Dinner with Jack tonight.

_2 days ago from web_

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I've been asked to do on line interview. Might just do it, I'm finding talking about me surprisingly therapeutic. My doctor will be so pleased.

_3 days ago from web_

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Nope, in that case how about, arrogant, average, absurd, annoying

_3 days ago from web in reply to JAHarkness  
_

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Let me guess, amazing, adorable, attractive, auspicious, aromatic, addictive, alluring, awesome

_3 days ago from web in reply to JAHarkness  
_

_*  
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By the way, been meaning to ask, what does the A stand for.

_3 days ago from web in reply to JAHarkness  
_

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I am most definitely NOT chunky.

_3 days ago from tweetdeck in reply to JAHarkness_

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I might go for a run in the park. Should have kept up fitness levels during suspension. I think I've put on weight.

_4 days ago from web_

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Only four more days of suspension. Looking forward to getting back to normal.

_4 days ago from web_

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If you see me in town, I really don't mind being approached. It's all the "subtle" whispering and pointing I can't stand.

_4 days ago from web_

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Fed up of people gossiping about me. I'm gay, I've got OCD. Sometimes I get pissed off at life. Oh and I play rugby. Really that's it. Nothing else interesting about me.

_4 days ago from web_

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Sorry, I forgot to ask him. I was a leetle bit drunk, and no I DON'T want to explain why double dating would be embarrassing.

_4 days ago from web in answer to RhiJones_

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I appear to be a leetle bit drunk. Not my fault. Rhys wanted to play a drinking game. I think I won but I can't remember what the rules were.

_5 days ago from tweetie_

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Out with Johnny and Rhys tonight, will interrogate him about my sister. Must not get drunk.

_5 days ago from web_

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Double dating with my sister???!!! Ugh, no way

_5 days ago from tweetdeck_

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Jack read my last tweet and took hint. Not going on same day as Rhi and Johnny though!! God, wouldn't that be embarrassing.

_5 days ago from tweetdeck_

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Oooh, nice. I've being wanting to go there for ages. Must drop hints to Jack.

_5 days ago from web in answer to RhiJones_

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Second date eh, where's he taking you?

_5 days ago from web in answer to RhiJones_

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........and you better make it up to me.

_6 days ago from web in answer to JAHarkness_

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Up a bit, bit more, down a bit, now right a bit, yup that's it, just there...DIRECT MESSAGE button.

_6 days ago from web in answer to JAHarkness_

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Turns out sinister stain was curry. GGrrrr, Jack's been eating in my bed again. His manners in bed are appalling.

_6 days ago from web_

_*  
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I've been injured in a duvet cover changing related incident. Caught foot in duvet and fell off bed.

_6 days ago from web_

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Noticed sinister stain on duvet cover. Resisting urge to burn it.

_6 days ago from web_

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Hell, that was one heavy session with Dr Owen. Feeling a bit emotional now.

_6 days ago from web_

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Doctor's appointment later. Hope his desk is tidy this time. Wonder if he needs a good PA

_6 days ago from web_

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Just voted "Mulan" on "Which Disney Princess kicks the most ass."

_7 days ago from POLLpigeon_

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No don't come round and cheer me up, I'm not very good company. AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, USE THE DIRECT MESSAGE BUTTON!!!!!

_7 days ago from web in answer to JAharkness_

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Still bored

_7 days ago from web_

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Feeling blue today, don't know why.

_7 days ago from web_

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Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored.

_7 days ago from web_

_*_

Now we're both giggling uncontrollably. I really love my sister.

_8 days ago from iphone_

*

Lunch with Rhi, got asked for autograph by cute guy. She rolled her eyes at me so I glared at her.

_8 days ago from iphone_

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Shopping with sister, bought tight jeans and t-shirt. She said I looked gay. I said "hey sis, guess what?"

_8 days ago from iphone_

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The icons are now arranged in 4 lines of 4. I do prefer square numbers whenever possible.

_9 days ago from web_

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Much calmer now. Funny how coffee always calms me.

_9 days ago from web_

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Okay, now I am obsessing. I'm going to go and make coffee to calm down.

_9 days ago from web_

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Or 4 lines of 4.

_9 days ago from web_

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Maybe I should have deleted one instead and arranged the rest in 2 lines of 8.

_9 days ago from web_

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But that means I've got _one_ icon I don't use. It mocks me every time I switch to desktop.

_9 days ago from web_

_*  
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Phew, problem solved. Restored one of the deleted icons so I could arrange them in 3 lines of 6.

_9 days ago from web_

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AAAaaaagh. Tried arranging them in one long line but that just looked silly.

9 days a_go from tweetie_

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Decided to tidy up the icons on my desktop. Having a little OCD moment now. How do you arrange 17 icons symmetrically?

_9 days ago from web_

_*_

Ah,well. When you put it like that, I might be persuaded. I think I've got some cinnamon sticks around here somewhere.

_10 days ago from web in reply to JAHarkness_

_*  
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....but not from you_. _You, I'm still mad at_._

_10 days ago from web in reply to JAHarkness_

_*  
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I'm open to offers if anyone wants to kiss it better.

_10 days ago from web_

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Ow, that hurt. Note to self, kitchen cupboard doors left open at head height is an accident waiting to happen.

_10 days ago from web_

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_.....and not in a good way_

_11 days ago from iphone in reply to JAHarkness_

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Jack, puhlease, Direct Message me next time. I nearly choked on my coffee when I read that. Cute barista guy's looking at me

_11 days ago from iphone in reply to JAHarkness_

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He asked me if I wanted a top up and I giggled. Damn it, I really liked this place as well.

_11 days ago from iphone_

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Found new coffee place. Barista is really hot. Ooooh, gotta go, he's coming over.

_11 days ago from iphone_

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You're welcome. Your place next week?

_11 days ago from web in reply to JapeneseGirl  
_

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I think I've got a new best friend. She's lovely even if she did beat me at chess.

_11 days ago from tweetdeck_

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Get in, we won. Close match though, I should have been playing.

_11 days ago from tweetdeck_

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Trying not to think about what Jack is up to. Maybe I should get one of the WAGS to spy on him for me. Would that be too weird?

_12 days ago from web_

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New friend, (I hope) coming over for gossip and chess. The wine is chilling. Hopefully it will be a good night.

_12 days ago from web_

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Good luck to the guys tonight. Wish I was playing. Will try really hard not to lose my cool in future.

_12 days ago from tweetdeck_

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Uhh, I suppose he's kinda cute? In a Fred Flinstone sort of way.

_12 days ago from the tweetdeck in reply to RhiJones_

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Excellent, I knew you'd be perfect for each other. So tell me everything. When are you seeing him again?

_12 days ago from tweetdeck in reply to RhiJones_

_*  
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Maybe there are some advantages at being outted. I can finally admit it. I HAVE SEX DREAMS ABOUT BRAD PITT!

_13 days from web_

_*  
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Woke up this morning, found Brad Pitt in my bed, then woke up again and realised it was all a dream. Damn!!!

_13 days ago from web_

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Should be at practice this morning but I'm suspended so slept in. Feel incredibly naughty.

_13 days ago from web_

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I guess I'm not much of a talker.

_Two weeks ago from web_

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Don't know what to talk about now. Any suggestions?

_Two weeks ago from web_

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Seems I have to be more open. So, this is me Ianto Jones, my inner most thoughts in 140 characters or less.

_Two weeks ago from web_


	21. Cymru Online

**A/N: Cyrmu online is a completely made up on line magazine and is not meant to be representative of any other website with a similar name.**

* * *

**Cyrmu Online**

**Sports Interview**

**Ianto Jones - More Than Just a Rugby Jock?**

Ianto Jones plays rugby for Cardiff's home team, the Cardiff Blues. He has been tipped for the 2012 GB Olympic squad and although not a Welsh International yet, he is sure to play for the national squad within the next few seasons. He has had a tumultuous few weeks following his suspension for fighting with a teammate and there have been a number of rumours about the state of his mental health. We interviewed him this week and are happy to put the record straight. We found him to be polite, highly intelligent, quick witted and very good company. He is 23 years old and was recently outed in the local press.

**So Ianto, in the light of recent events do you wish you had done things differently?**

Well, yes of course. I wish I'd had the courage to come out sooner. Looking back I don't even know why I didn't. The only reason I can think of is that I'm a very private person anyway and I don't really like talking about myself much. However, I am getting better at that, opening up to people. I think I'm less shy and inhibited than I used to be.

**So you think being outed has changed you?**

Well, _I have _changed but I'm not sure it's down to what has been written about me in the local press. I've started seeing a new doctor and he is encouraging me to be more outgoing. Also once I realised that my friends and the people who matter don't hate me, well let's just say it's liberating. You are going to see a whole new Ianto emerging in the next few months.

**Really? In what ways do you think the new Ianto will be different from the old one?**

Oh, I'm not sure. I don't think I've thought that far ahead yet. I just feel like I'm on the cusp of something big. I've always been so afraid of what people think about me but now it's out there, you know, people know and it's not so bad. I can be myself at last and I've been hiding so long, I'm not even sure what that means. My sister said recently that I'd always been a bit gay but since I've been out, I think her exact words were, "You're gayer than a bus load of Christmas Elves singing I Will Survive on a theatre trip to see Mama Mia." I've no idea what she meant by that but I don't think she meant it as an insult.

**What about those rumours about the state of your mental health. Is there anything you want to say about that?**

Not really, no. The newspaper said I've got OCD and it's true, I have. I've also been treated for generalised anxiety disorder in the past, but they are just names for conditions, they say nothing about me or who I am now. If you want to know about either condition, google it but if you want to know about me, then ask about me.

**Okay, Ianto. We are asking about you. How are you?**

I'm absolutely fine at the moment, thank you. I'm not going to deny there have been a few issues in the past and I live with OCD all the time but it's not bad now. I had a breakdown a few years ago and it wasn't funny at the time but I've learned to take myself much less seriously. My compulsions are still there but they tend to come out in things like obsessive neatness or having to arrange my desktop icons in a particular way. They're not things that hurt other people and I can laugh about it most of the time. In fact, I think a sense of humour helps. I'd also like to say that I am so grateful to my friends and my doctor because they've literally kept me sane through the last few weeks.

**You came to blows with one of your teammates recently, was that in any way connected with your mental health?**

No. Definitely not. I've admitted I've got a temper problem and I'm working on it but it is in no way connected with either OCD or generalised anxiety disorder. I tend to let things build up and then someone might say something relatively minor and it's not what they've said, it's all the things that have gone on before that I react to.

**Your Team Captain stated you were a victim of homophobic bullying is that true?**

Any gay man will tell you, it's something we put up with every day of our lives. Even though we are supposed to be a much more enlightened society and we have legislation that is supposed to protect us from discrimination and bigotry, you still get the idiots who think gay men are fair game.

**So you're saying the player in question is an idiot then?**

No, god no. That isn't what I'm saying at all. I don't want to say anything that will make the situation worse than it all ready is. I just want to play rugby.

**What about the fans, how do you think they have reacted to your recent press?**

There has been a lot of whispering and staring but if they do speak to me, it's usually supportive. If I could say anything to the fans it would be don't point and stare just come up and talk to me. I know I've said I wasn't as shy as I used to be and I'm not but I'm never going to be the type of person who enjoys being the centre of attention. Sometimes I just wish the ground would open up and swallow me.

**You mentioned your sister; she has been a big influence on your life hasn't she?**

Yes she has. She's older than me, I won't tell you how much older because she'll kill me, but when my mother died she completely took over the mothering role. Despite the fact she was still at school herself she always made sure I had clean clothes and she put me to bed every night and read me stories. She's my sister but sometimes I think our relationship is more like mother and son and I'm totally in awe of her. That's one of the reasons I didn't come out before I did, I was terrified she would reject me because I couldn't bear it if she wasn't in my life. My childhood wasn't great but it would have been completely shit without her.

**Your mother dying must have been a defining moment in your life; do you think your life would have been different if she had been alive?**

Who's to know for sure? I guess some psychologists would use my early life as a case study for the nature, nurture debate and my doctor is helping me to explore how my childhood experiences including my Mother's death affected my neurosis. My Dad and I didn't really get along and so if it wasn't for my sister I wouldn't have had any parenting at all. There was a time when I was really angry about that but I'm learning to accept what can't be changed.

**Turning to the future then, is there any truth in the rumours that you have been picked for the 2012 Olypmic Squad.**

I'm sorry but I'm not able to confirm or deny the rumours. The squad will be announced early next year, you'll just have to wait until then to find out.

**What about those rumours that you we're deselected for the Welsh squad following your suspension.**

I can confirm that there is no truth in that whatsoever. I have never been approached by the Welsh team.

**But you would like to play for Wales.**

Of course, who wouldn't. It's every Welshman's dream isn't it?

**5 questions we ask everyone**

**British or Welsh?**

Both, I guess. My passport says British but I'm pretty Welsh in my outlook. I don't have anything against the English or Scots though and I'm happy to be referred to as either British or Welsh, we are all part of one great island nation, separate but together if you know what I mean.

**What could you not live without?**

Coffee. I'm completely addicted. Not just to the drinking of it, but also to making it and sourcing new blends or creating my own blends.

**Name one thing about you that would surprise people.**

I play chess. I've been playing since I was four years old and I'm pretty good at it even if I do say so myself. In fact if I didn't play rugby I would probably play chess for a living.

**What's been the biggest moment in your career so far?**

I'm only 23 so I haven't had much of a career yet. Ask me again in 10 years time.

**If you could go back in time and give your 16 year old self one piece of advice, what would it be?**

Don't waste so much time and energy trying to be what you think people want you to be and just be yourself. Oh, and don't sleep with _(name removed for legal reasons_), he is going to turn out to be a complete wanker.

**Finally, Ianto. The question that all our gay readers will want to know is are you available?**

Oh, ha. Am I available? Good question. I guess you'll have to ask my boyfriend.

**We'll take that as a no then?**

Hmmm, Take it as a maybe; or a maybe not. Oh I don't know. Like I said, ask my boyfriend. If I know him he'll probably say yes, as long as he can watch.

**Thank you, Ianto. It's been a real pleasure to meet someone so polite and down to earth. We would like to wish you all the best in your future career.**

You're welcome and thank you, for giving me the opportunity to put my side of the story. It's been a pleasure for me too.

**Comments**

OMG, this guy sounds so sweet. Where can I meet him?

*

Great interview, but why no picture. I want to know if he's hot.

*

Oh he's H-O-T. There's a picture of him on the Blues website. Best looking guy on the team IMHO. LOL

*

He's going to be attending the Christmas Charity Ball at the stadium this year. I've got tickets. Can't wait to meet him.

*

It's sooo not fair. Why are all the best looking ones gay. I used to really fancy him as well.

*

I'm a primary school teacher and I met Ianto when he opened our school fete. He was lovely, so polite and he couldn't do enough for the kids. The fact that he is gay hasn't changed my opinion of him in any way.

*

I think I've seen his boyfriend around town with him. He's a bit older than him and an American. He's pretty hot too. In fact they make one HOT couple.

*

I clicked on this from his twitter account. It doesn't come out much here but he is very, very funny. I'd recommend following him because it always cheers me up for the day when I read his posts.

*

Ianto, we love you. Your fans will always be there for you. We don't care if you're gay.

*

I like him better 'cause he's gay and I'm a straight female.

*

I'm a straight female too and you get the feeling he'd make a great gay best friend.

*

I don't care whether he is gay or straight as long as he keeps playing well and stops the other side from scoring

*

I've got OCD, he is an inspiration to people like me. I'm not a rugby fan but I think he's lovely.

*

* * *

"See," Jack said, "I told you, nobody cares about Brigstocke's article."

"It does seem that way," Ianto agreed, "People don't even seem to be pointing and staring much anymore and I'm getting loads of attention from young girls for some reason. There was a group of them hanging around the team entrance the other night. Rhys had a field day, he teased me about it for days."

"Oh yeah? They better keep their hands off you."

Ianto rolled his eyes, "Trust me, Jack. You've got nothing to worry about. I tried it once you know," he gave a little shiver, "never again. It's all those bits, I had no idea where to put my hands."

Jack laughed. "Good, because I'm not sharing you." He kissed his young lover on the cheek and then frowned as he noticed a battered time piece sitting next to Ianto's PC. He picked it up, turning it over in his hands. "Nice stopwatch," he said, "antique?"

"Yeah, It belonged to my granddad. Only thing my dad left me, actually. I use it for speed chess mainly, though I'm sure I could think of some other uses for it." Ianto smirked.

"If you say so," Jack replied, "come on, let's eat, but nothing Welsh. Andy told me what Lava Bread and Cockles were today and I'm never eating anything Welsh ever again. Who knows what you people will eat?"

"Oi, that's my heritage. Anyway, this from the man who's country brought us such culinary delights as corn dogs and grits, whatever the fuck they are."

"Ah, but don't forget hamburgers and pizzas, Ianto."

"Hamburgers, I'll give you, but I think you'll find that while there is some dispute about the origin of pizza most experts agree that the Italian American stole the idea from the Spanish."

"Whatever, and in any case I'm not strictly speaking American remember."

"Oh right because that makes all the difference. Your country of birth gave us such culinary delights as hard boiled eggs wrapped in sausage meat and deep fried mars bars."

"And porridge, Ianto, don't forget the porridge."

"Oh yeah, who could forget the porridge. That reminds, me I need to re-grout in the bathroom."

* * *

Jack watched the tell tale signs that the man writhing beneath him was reaching orgasm and felt his own climax building as his lover shouted out in Welsh. Not being able to speak the language, Jack had no idea if Ianto's words were beautiful and romantic or hot and dirty. In fact he could be screaming out his shopping list for all Jack new. Three more thrusts and Jack found himself joining Ianto in a glorious culmination of the last few hours. Jack collapsed exhausted onto his lover and both men lay panting until Ianto's need to breathe forced him to slip from under the older man. Jack put his arm around him and drew him back in resting his head on Ianto's shoulder.

"What were you saying?" Jack asked.

"Huh?"

"Just then, you were shouting in Welsh, what did you say?"

"God, Jack. I don't know, I can't remember, I was a bit distracted," Ianto laughed.

"Teach me some Welsh words then. I want to know what you are saying to me when you are in the throes of passion, it sounded really hot but you could be reminding me to buy milk next time I go to the store for all I know."

"Yes, Jack. That's exactly what I said. I thought I'll wait until you're having an orgasm and then ask you to buy milk in a language you don't understand. Besides before I can teach you Welsh, I'd have to teach you to speak English."

"Hey, I speak English"

"No, you speak American English, you sully the language with made up words and made up spellings."

"Sully the language," Jack repeated in a surprisingly good approximation of Ianto's Welsh accent. He lifted his head to look at his lover. Sometimes Jack found himself perplexed by Ianto's dry sense of humour and wasn't always sure if he joking or serious. "What do you care, you're not even English."

"True, but both our great nations have adopted the language of the English peoples, the least we can do is look after it for them."

Jack sighed, "Fine, if I let you teach me English, will you teach me a few choice phrases in Welsh?"

"Sure, what do you want to know?"

"Oh, I don't know," Jack lowered his voice seductively, "Oh god, Yes. Do that again, Fuck me, Fuck me harder, please."

"Oh bloody hell," Ianto moaned, "forget the English lesson, just get over here and fuck me again."

* * *

Jack and Ianto we're on their second bottle of wine. Not drunk but pleasantly tipsy, wrapped around each other on Jack's sofa watching late night television. The film which neither of them had been particularly interested in came to an end and Jack flicked around the channels landing on a news broadcast about a new Macdonalds Restaurant in Algeria. Ianto saluted,

"God bless, America," he said, "taking over the world one Macdonalds outlet at a time."

Jack pouted. "You know, Ianto," he exclaimed, "I'm getting the distinct impression lately that you are less than enamoured with my country of adoption."

Ianto sat up unsteadily, "Me, no I love America, me." He looked at Jack fondly, kissed him on the cheek and then began to sing at the top of his voice. Jack was strangely moved by the sight of his beautiful Welshman singing and he had to admit the younger man had a good voice. He let him get to the end of the song before commenting, wiping away a mock tear,

"Ianto, that was beautiful. If it wasn't for the fact that you just sang the Canadian national anthem, substituting the word America for Canada, I think I'd be overwhelmed."

Ianto bowed his head then looked up at the older man and grinned. "I couldn't remember the words to the American national anthem," he said, "I didn't think you'd mind."

"I think I should be deeply offended, actually."

"I'll make it up to you later."

* * *

Jack was in his favourite place, spooned around his favourite Welshman, warm and sated and on the verge of dropping off to sleep. He thought about how well Ianto's coming out was going and wondered if maybe now was the time to tell him. Well not right now, obviously but soon. But then Christmas was coming up and nobody finished with their lover just before Christmas did they?. Yeah, he'd wait until after Christmas; or maybe New Year because after all everyone needed to have someone to kiss when the clock struck 12. Yes definitely after New Year, he'd do it then........Maybe. He pulled his young lover closer and smiled against the back of his neck, as he felt himself drawn into unconsciousness.

Ianto would have heaved a huge sigh if he hadn't been pretending to be asleep. Whatever the fuck was wrong with Jack, it was starting to get on his nerves. Sometimes he would catch the American staring at him, with an unreadable expression on his face that gave Ianto a strange feeling of impending doom, but as soon as they locked eyes, Jack would break the mood by grinning and making a suggestive comment. They had been together for months now and Jack had never once given Ianto any indication that he was anything other than a warm body and a pleasant distraction while he waited for something better to come along. Jack was always telling him how beautiful or sexy or amazing he was but never any mention of the L word and sometimes Ianto was almost certain that Jack was on the verge of finishing it. For the first time in his life he felt as if he was coming out of his shell and truth be told, Jack was dragging him back down again. Despite that Ianto knew he would say nothing because he wouldn't force the issue. He was going to stay with Jack for as long as Jack wanted him and if that meant the loss of what little self respect he had, then so be it.

* * *

Johnny and Rhys tumbled out of the drinking establishment depositing themselves on the pavement outside. Unlike the other five pubs they had tumbled out of that night, they hadn't even made it to the bar this time. The sight that met them had brought Rhys up short and he had turned around and shoved Johnny out before they had been seen.

Johnny looked at Rhys quizzically.

"Was that....?"

Rhys nodded grimly and blew air out over his gritted teeth.

"Yeah, yeah it was" he sighed.

".....and her, she was......"

Rhys nodded again. "Yes. Yes, she was."

"Shit," Johnny cursed, "Someone's going to have to tell Ianto"


	22. Revelations

_Rhys Williams has entered the conversation_

_Rhys: _Hey

_Ianto: _Hi Rhys, whassup?

_Rhys_: You in tonight?

_Ianto: _yep_, why?_

_Rhys: _Thought I might pop round.

_Ianto: _Sure, nothing wrong is there? You and Gwen not argued or anything?

_Rhys: _Me and Gwen are fine. talk later.

_Ianto: ???_

_Rhys: _I'll call in Tescos on my way round and buy a crate of whatever is on special offer

_Ianto: _You're scaring me now Rhys, what's up?

_Rhys:_ Later

_Ianto: _Rhys?

_Rhys Williams has left the conversation_

* * *

"Hey, Rhys,"

Ianto greeted his friend, taking a 24 pack of larger from him.

"Go through," he shouted from the kitchen, "You want a glass?"

"Nah, s'okay"

Ianto opened the box took out two cans of larger and put the rest in the fridge.

"So," he said, joining Rhys on the sofa, "What do you want to talk to me about?"

He handed Rhys one of the cans, opening the other and taking a large swig.

Rhys put his can down on the floor by his feet. "You do trust me, Ianto?" he said.

Ianto took the can from the floor and placed it on a coaster on the coffee table.

"What's this about, Rhys?" he asked, "You know I trust you."

"And you know I wouldn't do anything to hurt you." Rhys continued.

"Yeah, I know, Please just get to the point."

Rhys picked up his drink, pulled the ring tab and drained half the can in one gulp. He took a deep breath.

"How are things with you and Jack?" he asked.

Ianto gave a tight one sided smile, "You know Jack," he replied.

"That's not really an answer is it?"

"No, I don't suppose it is."

"Care to enlighten me?"

"Look, what's this about. We're blokes, Rhys. We don't really do this stuff do we? I love him, you know I do but...."

"But what?"

"He doesn't love me all right. I know he doesn't but it doesn't matter."

"Are you sure it's love though. It's not just because he's older than you and he's American. Plus he's got a big house and a nice car, and I'm not really a judge of these things but Gwen tells me he's hot; and then there's the charisma thing, even I can see he's got it in buckets. You don't think that maybe you're just crushing on him."

"It's not a crush. I'm 23 not 15. Now please, what are you trying to say."

Rhys sighed again. He shook his larger can to show it was empty. "Go and get two more of these and I'll tell you."

* * *

Ianto blinked, feeling hot tears welling up in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Ianto" Rhys soothed, "I'm really, really sorry."

"Wait?" Ianto asked, "What did you and Johnny actually see?"

"We saw Jack, in the pub. He was with someone, they we're hugging. He kissed her on the forehead."

"Hang on, though. Jack kisses everyone; you know what he's like. It doesn't mean anything."

"I wish I could say that was true but this kiss meant something. It was the way he was looking at her."

"He looks at Gwen that way sometimes."

"I know, and I'll be honest, Ianto. It drives me crazy but this was different. He was cupping her face and looking at her like she was the most amazing thing in the universe and then he sort of pulled her head towards him and kissed her tenderly on the forehead. It was intimate, Ianto. I'm sorry but it was. It wasn't like with Gwen, that's usually playful and light hearted, this was.....well, you know. I've seen him look at you that way but not anyone else."

"You've never like Jack, have you Rhys?" Ianto whimpered.

"No. I haven't. I think he's big headed and arrogant. You could do better but that's not what this is about. Just answer me this, Ianto. Where did he tell you he was last night?"

Ianto hitched a breath and gave a small sob, "he told me he was working late." he mumbled. He paused before continuing, "Oh god," he moaned, hitting the side of his head with the palm of his hand. "I've been such an idiot. I knew he was too good to be true."

Rhys grabbed Ianto's hand to stop him doing any more damage to his head. "You're not an idiot" he said, "just a bit too trusting." He let go of the hand and looked away, "I'm sorry" he went on, "but there's more."

"Oh god, what now?" Ianto groaned.

Rhys turned to look at his friend, pausing as he tried to think of the best way to say it. He looked away again, tapping the side of his can distractedly.

"RHYS, What is it!"

Rhys scooted along the sofa, putting his arm around Ianto and letting the younger man rest his head on his shoulder. He sighed heavily.

"I wish there was a better way to say this," he said. "but..

...she was pregnant; I'd say about 7 or 8 months."

* * *

Rhys put a hand on Ianto's shoulder and tried to concentrate on keeping the image of his friend in focus. "Look at me, Ianto" he hiccupped, "I want to say something important."

Ianto tried and failed to lift his head from the back of the sofa, opting instead to turn his head and crack open one eye. "Huh?" he asked.

"No, Yanni" Rhys scolded, "look at me."

Ianto opened both eyes but stayed stubbornly glued to the back of the sofa, "Call me Yanni again," he deadpanned, "and I'll have to kill you."

"Okay, Yanni. But listen....."

Rhys frowned. "I've forgotten what I was going to say now."

Ianto closed his eyes again and felt himself drifting off. Some time passed before Rhys yelled, "Oh yeah. I remember," Ianto jumped.

"Fuck, Rhys. You scared the shit out of me."

"Language, Yanni. You kiss your mother with that mouth?" There was a moment of embarrassed silence before Rhys continued....."Erm sorry," he said, "I wasn't thinking."

"S'okay." Ianto slurred, "And STOP CALLING ME YANNI."

"Whatever you say, Yanni. Now, what was I saying. Oh yeah, that was it. You know I love, you don't you, yeah?"

"Yeah, Rhys. I know you love me."

"But not in that way, yeah?"

"Yeah, not in that way," Ianto smiled sadly, "I know."

"I mean, if you we're a girl, or I was a man."

Ianto guffawed.

"Oh, that's not right is it. What do I mean? Oh yeah, I mean if you we're a girl or I swung that way, then I want you to know, no doubt, I would definitely go for you."

"Thanks, Rhys. And I want you to know if I was a girl or you swung that way and you went for me...." Ianto gazed into his friend's eyes,"....I'd kick you in the googlies and run like hell in the opposite direction."

"Good," Rhys replied, "Thas good. I'm glad we've got that out the way, coz that's been hanging over us for a while now hasn't it?"

"If you say so, Rhys"

"Anyway, that's not what I wanted to say. What I want to say, and this is important so you better be listening, Yanni."

"I'm listening, Rhysee"

"Okay, this is it. Now. I'm just gonna say it. You ready coz this is big."

"I'm ready."

"Right....Okay." Rhys took a breath, "Do you want me to kill him for you."

"Hah," Ianto laughed bitterly, "I wouldn't bother. Knowing him he wouldn't stay dead."

Rhys frowned. "What's that supposed to mean."

"No idea, I'm too fucking drunk."

"Sheriously," Rhys slurred, "Eh, I mean seriously mate. What are you going to do?"

Ianto paused. He turned to look at Rhys and raised his eyebrows.

Rhys eyes widened and he suddenly felt a little more sober. "Ianto, no." he said, "you can't be serious."

"I have to, Rhys. I've got no choice, as long as he wants me."

"But Ianto...He's going to have a baby. I mean could be any day now."

Ianto shrugged.

"Fucking hell, Ianto. What's the matter with you? Don't expect me to just carry on as if nothing has happened."

"Please, Rhys. For me. Don't do anything, not yet. Just a few more weeks. Once the baby is born, he won't have time for me anyway. Please, just let me have a few more weeks with him." Ianto was sobbing now. "You haven't told Gwen, have you?"

Rhys shook his head. "I can't promise I'll be civil to him, Ianto but I won't say anything for now. I just hope you know what you're doing."


	23. Friendly Concerns

Barry Austin glared. He glared at Ianto, going about his pre-match routine totally unmoved by the impressive display of glaring. Thankfully, Austin hadn't done anything worse than glare since their last ticking off. Unlike Ianto, Austin had a family to support and the loss of a week's pay, whilst not disastrous, had impacted on their finances to such an extent that his wife had threaten a John Wayne Bobbit if he didn't keep his nose clean for the rest of the season. She'd also nagged him almost solidly about how sweet Ianto was and what a cute couple he and his boyfriend made; but Austin wasn't even going to think about that. Whatever the reason, there was no way he was going to risk the wrath of either his wife or the team hierarchy, but it didn't stop him from glaring at Ianto at every opportunity.

Rhys glared. He glared at Austin, glaring at Ianto.

"For goodness sake, tune down the testosterone, it's giving me a headache."

Rhys sneered at Austin, before turning to his friend, "Sorry," he apologised. "It's just he's getting to me; I don't know how you stand it."

Ianto lifted his booted foot on the bench as he pulled the laces tight. "It's easy," he said, "I just ignore him. Owen taught me how to count to ten."

"Really, that works?"

"No, not really," Ianto deadpanned, "but the meds help."

Rhys let the comment pass for the moment. "So, haven't seen you for a few days," he said, "how's things."

The younger man looked around the changing room nervously, "Not now, yeah? Let's meet up for a drink tomorrow."

"Nah, can't," Rhy replied, "Gwen's got me on a health kick; and in any case don't you think we drink a bit much, for athletes I mean."

Ianto raised an eyebrow, "Athletes?" he scoffed, "We're not athletes, we're rugby players. We're supposed to be tough talking, hard drinking men."

"Yeah, but we've been over doing it a bit lately haven't we? Even for us."

Ianto looked up. "Why don't you just say what you mean Rhys," he seethed, "You mean I've been over doing it a bit."

"Well, yes. Now you mention it, you have been putting it away a bit and should you be drinking at all if Owen's put you on something?"

Ianto held the other man's gaze for a moment or two before turning back to his boots, pointedly ignoring his friend's query.

"Look, I'm cutting down anyway," Rhys went on, "I could stand to lose a few pounds even for a hooker. We'll talk later, but I'm not going to the pub with you."

"Fine, if it'll shut you up. Come on we've got a match to play.

* * *

"Ah, Rhys. Come in, what can I do you for?" Owen lifted his feet down off the desk and sat up a little straighter. "Cartilage playing you up again?"

"No, well yes, a bit, but that's not what I want to see you about."

"Oh?"

"It's Ianto."

"Ah, you know I can't discuss that with you."

Rhys sat down in one of the consulting chairs, "No," he said, "but I can talk and you can listen."

Owen shrugged which Rhys took as an invitation to continue.

"He's not doing so well is he?" he said, "and he's drinking. He said you'd prescribed something and I was wondering if he should be taking alcohol with it."

Owen picked up a pen and tapped it against his pursed lips, "Hmm, It won't kill him," he said, "but it's probably not a good idea. I'll talk to him."

He chewed on the pen thoughtfully for a few moments before slamming it down on the desk with such a force that Rhys jumped in shock.

"Damn it Rhys," yelled the doctor,"what is going on with him anyway? I thought we were doing so well and then all of a sudden it's like he's given up and he's not talking to me."

"It's that dick of a boyfriend of his," Rhys scowled, "he's been cheating on him."

"What? You mean they've split up?"

"No, they haven't. Ianto knows but Jack doesn't know that he knows. Believe me as soon as all this is out in the open, I'm going to tear that twat limb from limb."

"Shit, no wonder he's been acting like a kicked puppy all week. Thing is, I made Ianto a promise and there is no way I am letting him slip through my fingers on this."

Rhys smiled, "Yeah, don't know what it is about the little guy but he kinda gets under ya skin doesn't he?"

* * *

"Come on, Ianto last one to that tree pays for the coffees."

Ianto rolled his eyes but did at least set off after his friend at a slow jogging pace. He knew Rhys was only trying to help but their new routine of weekly jogging sessions followed by coffee; either at Ianto's or in one of the coffee houses surrounding the park just didn't have the same appeal as their old routine of weekly pub crawls. The young Welshman couldn't deny that cutting down on the drinking, coupled with all this extra exercise, had had a beneficial effect on his waistline and his game had improved too. Even his mood had lifted a little but that may have more to do with the Prozac than anything else. The thing was, Rhys probably didn't need to go through this torture every week anymore. Owen had warned him about the dangers of mixing alcohol with Serotonin Re-uptake Inhibitors and Ianto had agreed to abide by the rules in future.

Ianto caught up with his friend, who was sitting on a bench removing his knee brace and rubbing his knee painfully. "Should you be doing all this weight bearing exercise?" he asked.

"Owen cleared me," Rhys replied, holding up the knee brace, "as long as I wear this thing."

They sat together side by side in silence for a moment or two.

"So," Rhys asked, "seen much of Jack lately."

Ianto sighed. "Okay, Rhys. Why don't you just ask me what you're dying to ask me?"

"I'm not sure what I want to ask you, just how are you doing?"

"I'm fine, Jack's fine, everyone's fine." Ianto snarked.

"You're fine?"

"Okay, maybe fine is too strong a word. I haven't seen that much of Jack. He's been..." Ianto paused. "...working late a lot recently."

Rhys nodded, "Ianto, I wish you'd tell him to get lost."

"We've been through this all ready and I don't want to talk about it anymore. Let's not spoil our ...well, whatever this is, I want to say night out but it's not that is it? Listen, Rhys I was thinking, Owen had a chat with me and I've agreed to cut out the alcohol, so how about we go to the pub and drown our sorrows in a pint of coke each."

"And what if someone tries to buy me a drink?"

"Tell them you've given it up for Lent."

"It's not Lent now, it's Advent. Where were you during RE lessons?"

Ianto smirked. "In the stationery cupboard, snogging the face off Joseph Greenaway."

Rhys inhaled sharply, "No!" he exclaimed.

"Don't be stupid." Ianto laughed, "of course I wasn't."

Rhys growled and raised his fist playfully at his friend,

"It was Joshua Evans."

"


	24. Can't do it anymore

Ianto contemplated his reflection in the mirror and felt like crying. He wondered briefly if there was any way he could get out of this, but almost as soon as the thought entered his head he realised there was nothing he could do. The Blues' Chairman had been very clear on the matter. The entire team were to attend the Christmas Charity Ball at the stadium; and since it was essentially a PR event, they were to wear the team colours for the duration of the night. Ianto had struggled to suppress a groan when he'd been told. He suspected the real reason for the dress code was the sponsor's logo which was emblazoned all over their tracksuits, turning Ianto and his teammates into walking advertisements. Most of the guys were delighted to be told they wouldn't have to "ponce about" in dinner jackets and bow ties, but for Ianto, a man who prided himself on always being appropriately attired for every occasion, it was just one more thing to add to the growing list of reasons to top yourself.

The sound of his telephone resounding around his small flat brought him out of his reverie.

"Ianto, its Owen." The young doctor said.

"Owen, what's up?"

"Nothing, just ringing to make sure you're going to be okay tonight."

"I'll cope," Ianto replied, sounding as if he would do anything but cope.

Owen considered calling him on it but in the end simply offered his support and hoped they'd all get through the night without any major drama.

"Okay," he said, "but I'll be there tonight so if you need anything, anything at all, you come and find me, promise me you'll do that."

"I will, Owen. I promise. Look, I have to go. I'll see you later."

He replaced the handset and growled when it promptly rang again.

"Ianto Jones," he barked.

"Oh, why so formal?"

Ianto grinned, "Sorry Tosh. Just trying to get ready and the phone keeps ringing."

"Ooops, won't keep you long then."

"Ah, but I've always got time for you, Tosh. You know that. What can I do for you?"

"I was ringing to see if you we're okay."

"Why is everyone so concerned about me all of a sudden?" Ianto rolled his eyes even though he knew his friend couldn't see him.

"It's not all of a sudden. I care about you and I'm sure your other friends do too."

He sighed. "I know, Tosh. I just hate it. I wish I wasn't so pathetic."

"You're not pathetic. You're just....." Tosh struggled to find a suitable word.

"Pathetic," he filled in for her."

"No, not pathetic.....fragile," she corrected.

He sniggered. "You make me sound like a crystal vase."

"Hmm, maybe I'll come over tomorrow night then, wrap you in bubble wrap and put you in a packing case."

He laughed out loud. "Ah, now if only you we're Brad Pitt, you've just described my biggest fantasy."

"Ugh, forget the bubble wrap. How about hot chocolate and a weepy film."

"Now that sounds good," Ianto agreed.

"Great, It's a date then." She paused. "Ianto, are you sure you're right, about Jack I mean?"

"Rhys saw them together and I trust him not to lie."

"I know you do and I didn't mean to imply that you shouldn't. I just can't believe it. He hasn't said anything and he talks about you all the time or at least he used to. Lately, he seems to have the weight of the world on his shoulders."

"I wouldn't know, Tosh. I haven't seen that much of him recently. He tells me he's working late, but he's not, is he?"

Ianto sounded as if he was hoping Tosh would confirm that Jack had been working overtime and it broke her heart to have to say that she was pretty certain he hadn't been working any later than usual.

"I just hope you know what you are doing," she sighed, "I care about you both and I don't want to see either of you hurt."

"Too late, Tosh," he sniffled.

"Oh, Ianto. Chin up eh, I'll see you tomorrow."

* * *

Ianto opened the door and felt moved to tears at the sight which met him. Jack looked beautiful in dinner Jacket and bow tie and the contrast with his own less than formal wear grated on his nerves.

"You look...." Jack began.

"Fuck off, Jack," Ianto interrupted, slamming the door behind him and sweeping past the American without even a backward glance to see if the other man was following. Jack took a moment or two to get his breathing under control, briefly raising his eyes to the ceiling before going after Ianto shouting at him to wait up.

* * *

By the time Jack's car pulled into the stadium car park, Ianto had managed to reign in his emotions. He let Jack run around and open the car door for him and the two men made their way up to the function room arm in arm. They found their table, greeting Rhiannon and Johnny who had already taken their seats. Ianto gave his sister a hug which went on slightly too long to be comfortable for the other people at the table. Jack coughed and Ianto pulled away.

"Hey," he said, looking his sister up and down, "Wow, you look beautiful."

"Thanks," she replied, "I wish I could say the same about you."

He rolled his eyes at her and moved to give Johnny a hug. The other man drew back laughing,

"Hey, you're not going to cuddle me are you?"

Ianto gave him a playful thump on the shoulder,

"No, those cuddles are reserved for sisters and boyfriends only."

"And not so much for boyfriends these days either," Jack grumbled under his breath.

There was an embarrassed silence broken by Rhys and Gwen wandering over to the table. Jack stood up to greet them. As he leaned in to kiss Gwen on the cheek, Ianto realised with a sinking feeling that they looked like they belonged together, much more than either he and Jack or Gwen and Rhys ever could, particularly dressed as they were now. Jack offered his hand to Rhys but Rhys managed to ignore it with a curt nod of the head. The American raised an eyebrow but sat down without a further word.

* * *

Rhiannon couldn't help noticing that Jack was deep in conversation with Rhys' wife while her brother stared blankly at the tablecloth. She leaned across and whispered in his ear,

"Is everything okay with you and Jack?"

Ianto continued to stare at the table and Rhiannon wondered if he had heard her. She was about to repeat the question when she heard him murmur,

"Not really."

She placed a hand on his arm.

"I'm so sorry," she said.

"S'okay." He perked up, turning towards her and smiling, "What about you and Johnny?"

"Oh, I'm not sure I should tell you now."

"What? Come on, Rhi. You have to tell me."

She turned away and gave him a sly sideways look,

"He's going to ask me to marry him," she grinned.

Ianto looked as if he was about to throw his arms around her and squeal in delight. Rhiannon shushed him urgently, glancing nervously at Johnny,

"Shhh," she said, "he doesn't know yet."

Ianto pulled back frowning a little and then broke into laughter, shaking his head at her, "How do you do it, Rhi?" he asked.

* * *

It was later, much later and Rhiannon and Johnny had excused themselves and gone home. Rhiannon had given her brother a conspiratorial wink on the way out. The band struck up a slow, smoochy tune and Gwen pulled at her husband's arm,

"Come on," she laughed, "I love this one and we haven't danced together since our wedding."

Jack glanced longingly at his lover who gave a brief shake of his head. He humphed, folding his arms and watching as Rhys and Gwen twirled around the floor, looking at each other lovingly. Gwen whispered something in her husband's ear which caused him to throw back his head and laugh, planting a kiss on the side of her temple when he had calmed down. Jack was hurt and furious. Why wasn't he allowed to have that? It wasn't fair. Even with John, a man very comfortable with his sexuality, there hadn't been many public displays of affection. The one time he had let his guard down and kissed him in the street, he'd lost everything because of it. Finally, unable to stand it any longer, he leaped out of his seat and stalked over to the dancing couple.

"Mind if I cut in?" he asked.

Rhys looked as if he was going to say something but Gwen was already smiling and holding her arms out to the American so he stomped back to the table with a face like thunder. He flopped into his chair and glared at Ianto. Ianto just shrugged as if asking what he was expected to do about it. Rhys' mood was not improved by the sight of his wife and the lover of his best friend eye fucking each other.

"Do something, Ianto," he demanded.

The other man didn't reply but wearily dragged himself up out of his seat and shuffled over to the dance floor. He stopped in front of Jack and Gwen and coughed. The pair appeared not to hear him at first, so he coughed again, louder this time, holding his arms up and indicating that he wanted to cut in. Gwen smiled and turned towards him but he stepped around her and drew his arm around Jack's waist. Jack grinned and took Ianto's free hand, holding their joined hands together over his heart. He thought words weren't really necessary but he whispered, "thank you," anyway.

Ianto felt as if he was suffocating. Jack was all around him. Jack's scent invading his nostrils, Jack's voice singing cheesy lyrics in his ear, Jack's heart pounding through their joined hands, Jack's heat radiating through every fibre of Ianto's being. Suddenly it was all too much to bear. He felt hot tears prick his eyes as all the worry and heartache of the last few weeks came flooding to the surface. He pulled out of Jack's arms,

"I'm sorry, I can't do this anymore," he sobbed.

He turned on his heels and ran, leaving Jack staring opened mouthed amongst a sea of swirling bodies wondering what the fuck had just happened.


	25. Breakdown

"Shit" Jack muttered.

He must have missed something along the way. He knew he had but he was damned if he knew what it was. Sure, Ianto had been moody for weeks but tonight he'd asked him to dance and Jack had thought it had meant something. In blissful ignorance, he'd spent a glorious few minutes making plans, deciding to hang the consequences, find a way to have it all. Except now it seems Ianto hadn't even been on the same page.

He found him outside, leaning against the stadium wall, one foot resting against a steel pillar, there for show rather than for any necessity to support the building. He looked as if he didn't have a care in the world and that confused Jack even more. He took the younger man's hand and stroked the back of it with his thumb.

"Please tell me, what's wrong," he soothed, "whatever it is, we can sort this."

Ianto very carefully and deliberately moved his hand out of Jack's reach. He shook his head.

"Not this time, Jack."

"At least let me try."

Ianto stared at his feet.

"Rhys saw you with her," he mumbled.

"With who?"

"Your girlfriend." he raised his eyes to meet the other man's, "Your pregnant girlfriend."

Jack's face frowned in confusion for a few seconds before realisation dawned.

"When?" he growled.

"Huh?"

He grabbed a fistful of Ianto's tee-shirt, "When did he see me?" he yelled.

"Gerroff me." Ianto squirmed.

Jack let him go with an exasperated sigh.

"When did Rhys see me?" he repeated.

"About 3 weeks ago."

His head shot up,

"Three weeks ago, three fucking weeks." He placed his palm flat against Ianto's chest pinning him to the wall.

"Stop yelling, Jack. You're scaring me."

Jack gave him a push before moving away, pacing up and down a few times and muttering profanities. He finally came to halt again in front of the Welshman.

"Three fucking weeks. And you never thought to discuss it with me." He paused. "Wait, is this why I've been going through hell with you."

Ianto's bottom lip quivered but he didn't reply.

The American glared at him.

"I can't believe you," he hissed, "You fucking, sanctimonious bastard. Have you got any idea what I've been through?"

"What you've been through, what about me?"

"Oh, yeah. 'cause it's always all about you, isn't it Ianto. Let's all feel sorry for poor little orphan Ianto. Mommy's dead and Daddy doesn't care. Well you know what, it's getting very old, very quick and quite frankly I'm bored with it. Your Mom died 20 years ago, don't you think it's time you got over it."

"Why are you saying these things?" Ianto whimpered.

"Because I can, because you're pathetic, because you make like a doormat and then you wonder why people walk all over you. Three weeks, three fucking weeks and you let me......... You knew and you never said anything. What we're you thinking?"

The Welshman appeared to spring to life at that and he screwed up his face in anger.

"Oh I don't know," he spat. He moved towards Jack, yelling in his face, "maybe I thought we we're all going to live together like one big happy family. Me, you, your whore and your fucking whore's baby."

Jack grabbed him by the front of his shirt, drew back his arm and thumped him square in the jaw sending him sprawling to the ground.

He froze.

"Oh god. Shit, I'm s..."

Ianto scrambled backwards on hands and feet, stopping only when his back hit the wall with a thump. He stared at Jack in wide eyed horror.

Ianto, please. I would never....." Jack broke off, realising with a gut wrenching twist that he just had.

He ran a trembling hand through his hair.

"Look, stay there don't move.......please." He turned around and ran back into the stadium.

He ran up the stairs, taking them two at a time. Throwing open the function room door, he looked around desperately and spotting Gwen by the bar, he rushed over to her. She was talking to a women he recognised from one of her match night evenings and with a curt "excuse me," he took her by the arm and lead her to the other end of the bar.

"Where's Rhys?" he asked.

"Rhys? Why? What's going on?"

"I haven't got time to explain, I need him. Or what's his name, Ianto's doctor."

"Owen? I haven't seen him all night but Rhys is around here somewhere."

"Okay, Gwen, listen to me. I've fucked up, fucked up badly. Ianto's outside. Please just go stay with him while I look for Rhys or Owen, don't ask me why, just go."

And without waiting for a reply, he turned around and ran off.

* * *

Ianto felt sick. He knelt on all fours breathing heavily and trying to swallow the bile in his throat. Hearing the tip tap of a pair of stiletto heels approaching, he pulled himself up off the floor using the side of the stadium for support.

"Gwen," he spewed between gasping breaths, "Come to gloat?"

She shook her head. "No, of course not. Why would you even think that? Jack sent me."

He laughed, a little hysterically. "Jack sent you!" He shook his head incredulously "that's a good one. That man really has no clue has he?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, come on, Gwen. We all know you fancy him. I wouldn't be surprised if you're sleeping with him behind my back all ready and you know what; you're welcome to him, although you should know, he's been cheating on both of us."

"No, I don't believe you. Jack wouldn't do that."

"Oh Gwen. Poor little innocent Gwen. Always ready to see the best in everyone. Well listen up missy," Ianto prodded her in the chest with his index finger, not hard, but enough to force her to take a step backwards. "Jack," another prod, another step backwards, "is a cheating," prod, step backwards, "bastard." A final prod sent Gwen on a little tumble...........

.............straight into the arms of her waiting husband.

There was a moment of stunned silence as Rhys looked down at his wife and smiled. He swept the hair back from her face, "You okay?" he asked. She nodded once. He turned towards Ianto, wiping the smile from his face.

"Nobody gets to push my wife about, Jones. Not even you."

Ianto looked as if he was going to cry.

"Rhys. I'm sorry. Gwen please," he begged her, "tell him I didn't mean it."

Gwen stayed silent,

"I think you should go home Ianto," Rhys suggested.

Taking his wife's hand, he turned them both around and walked away.

Ianto sank to his knees.

"No, Wait, Rhys. Come back, please. I'm sorry. Rhys. Don't leave me, please. RHYS RHYS!" Ianto let the final Rhys out in a strangled yell.

"Just go home," the older Welshman shouted over his shoulder.

Ianto, heedless of the cold concrete beneath him, curled up into a ball and wept.


	26. Is This the End?

Tosh approached Ianto's apartment building nervously. When Jack first called her she'd been anxious to see how her friend was, but now as she stood outside in the rain, she couldn't shake the feeling of foreboding.

She winced as he opened the door to her. It wasn't so much how white he looked, or the red rims surrounding his eyes which shocked her, it was the vivid dark bruise on one side of his face, contrasting sharply with his pale skin.

She took a sharp intake of breath, covering her mouth with her hand.

"Oh, Ianto." She gasped.

Her stomach twisted when she considered the implications of why Jack had left this little detail out in his account of the previous night. She held open her arms and he leaned into the embrace. She cooed soothingly when he started to sob.

"That's it," she encouraged him, "let it out and then you can tell me all about it."

She caught a flash of movement behind Ianto's shoulder and started a little as she focused on a lean, fair haired man with faintly weasel like features and deep brown eyes.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she said, "I didn't realise you had company."

Ianto pulled out of her embrace and waved his arm vaguely in the man's direction. "It's Owen," he sniffed, "he brought me home last night."

The doctor extended his hand, "You must be Tosh," he grinned, "I've heard a lot about you."

"Oh, all if it good, I hope," she chuckled.

Ianto watched as Tosh dipped her head and looked at Owen through up turned lashes. He rolled his eyes and sighed theatrically.

"Riiight... I'll go put the kettle on shall I?"

* * *

For what seemed like the hundredth time that morning Gwen asked Rhys if he was okay.

"I'm fine, Gwen. Will you please stop fussing?"

She looked at him fondly, "I know you are but I'm worried about Ianto."

"Gwen, he pushed you!"

"He was upset."

"He was a twat."

"Rhys, this is Ianto we're talking about. He's not capable of being a twat and you know it."

"If you're so bothered about him," he stormed, "why don't you go and see him?"

"Fine, I will," she huffed.

"Good, you do that."

"Okay then."

"Goodbye, Gwen."

She glared at him for a second or two, before grabbing her coat and stalking out, slamming the door behind her.

* * *

Gwen stood outside Ianto's door chewing her lip, her index finger poised over the doorbell. She wondered whether rushing over here was such a good idea after all. Now she'd had time to think about it she realised she had no idea what she was going to say to him and she could make things much worse. She tutted to herself, letting her arm fall away. She was about to turn around and leave when she was startled by the door opening and a figure appeared in the doorway.

"Owen, you made me jump."

He stood aside to let her pass but she made no attempt to move.

"Well, are you coming in or not because I haven't got all day?" He chivvied.

"Em, yeah. Sorry. Of course."

She bobbed her hand in thanks as she passed him and was half way up the first flight of stairs before he called her back.

"Oh, and Gwen," he warned, "don't go upsetting him, yeah."

She gave him a tight smile and another nod before bounding up the rest of the stairs.

* * *

"What shall we do today?" Tosh asked, after Ianto had let Owen out.

He shrugged

"I know," She went on, answering her own question, "Let's go to the video store now. We'll pick the weepiest films we can find and buy popcorn and chocolate. You can cry your eyes out and stuff your face until you're sick."

Ianto thought it sounded a rather girly thing to do but it was probably just what he needed. He was about to tell her so when there was a knock on the door.

"I'll go," she said.

Ianto groaned when he heard Gwen's voice. He knew from past experience she was like a dog with a bone when she got an idea into a head. There was no way Tosh would be able to persuade her to go away. The Japanese women popped her head around the door a few moments later and looked at him apologetically.

"It's Gwen," she said, "She says she won't stay long."

She moved aside to let the other women in.

"I'll be in the kitchen if you want anything."

"Oh my god," Gwen shrieked, "your face."

"Something wrong with it," Ianto deadpanned, "I hadn't noticed."

She shocked him by rushing over and flinging her arms around him.

"Oh you poor, poor boy," she clucked, holding him tight.

He stiffened.

"Okay, this is different."

"Oh I'm so sorry." She let him go. In her shock at seeing him bruised and battered she'd forgotten that he had never been very receptive to spontaneous displays of emotion.

He played with his fingers in his lap, "It's me that should be sorry," he muttered. "About last night......."

"Hush." She placed a finger to his lips. "Forget it."

"I just wanted to say. You and Jack, I didn't really think........well you know, not really."

"Jack and I were friends, nothing more." She paused. "However, in the spirit of getting everything out in the open....."

"You fancied him," he finished for her. He hitched a short laugh, "yeah, I know, who wouldn't?"

"I mean, it's not like I'd ever want to be with him. He's not my type, really he's not," she insisted when he looked at her disbelievingly. "He's just a fantasy. You should know that better than anyone. Nice to look at, probably great in bed and charming doesn't come into it, but the real Jack. Well...." she let her eyes wander over his face, "he's hot headed, arrogant, self centred."

"He's not that bad."

She shook her head at him sadly. That he could still defend him despite what he'd done sickened her a little but didn't surprise her. Whatever it was Jack had if it could be bottled he'd make a fortune.

"Besides," she went on giving him a pointed look, "I'm not the only one harbouring fantasies about someone else's partner, am I?"

He looked visibly shaken at her words. Rising from the sofa, he walked over to stand by the window, resting his bottom on the ledge.

"W...What do you mean?" he faltered.

She raised an eyebrow at him.

"I know how you feel about Rhys." She said.

He shifted his weight, angling his body to stare out of the window. When he was sure he was able to speak again he turned back. His eyes were glistening with unshed tears.

"It's not like......I don't," he tried again.

He sighed, clearly giving up.

"How did you know?" he asked.

"I didn't, not for certain. Not until last night. Always suspected mind you, but you more or less confirmed it last night."

He gasped.

"Oh don't worry. He's a man Ianto, he's completely oblivious. He'll never know and I'm not about to tell him."

"It's not like I don't know it's a fantasy. I wouldn't want him for real."

"Like me with Jack."

He gave her a half smile and let his shoulders drop.

"Yeah. I get that now. I'm sorry."

She stood up and walked over to him.

"Friends?" she said holding out her hand.

"Friends." He agreed, taking her hand and pulling her into a hug.

"You're a very lucky women, you know. He's an easy guy to love. I just hope he can forgive me."

"He will Ianto, don't worry and I know I'm lucky. I might flirt sometimes and there are times I'd rather have risky and exciting instead of safe and predictable but I'd never hurt him, not for the world."

There was a soft tap on the lounge door and Tosh popped her head around again.

"I should go," Gwen said.

"Stay. Tosh and I we're about to go the video shop and hire something desperately sad and depressing."

"Sounds like a fun day." She laughed, "how could I resist."

* * *

Monday morning saw Tosh driving around the campus car park fruitlessly searching for a space. It never ceased to amaze her how many students drove cars these days. When she'd been at University it had been hard enough finding the spare cash to pay for groceries, let alone run a car. It seems the current breed of the educated classes were less prepared to do without basic essentials like food and were certainly not cut out for braving the horrors of public transport.

By the time she found a space she realised she was going to be late. Nevertheless, she bypassed the stairs that would take her to her second floor office and took the lift to the top floor instead. When the lift door pinged open, she straightened her fitted jacket, took a calming breath and strode purposefully down the corridor.

She reached the door she was looking for and opened it without bothering to knock. She saw Jack sitting on the edge of Andy's desk, flipping through a manila folder while his research assistant talked him through the main points of the report. Andy looked up and immediately broke off when he saw her. Jack put the file down and grinned. If Tosh had been in any mood to notice however, she would have seen that the grin didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Tosh. Hey. What can we do for you?"

Without saying a word, the Japanese women walked over to him, slapped his face hard and walked out again.

"Okay," Andy said, "That was unexpected. What did you do?"

"I was.....what is it you Brits call it, a twat."

* * *

"I'm sorry, I really am."

As soon as Jack had been able to extricate himself from Andy's remorseless jabbering about the latest finds in Cardiff Bay, he'd sought Tosh out.

"Have you seen his face, Jack?"

"No I haven't. Is it really bad?" He hung his head in shame.

"Yes, it is." She replied, "Why did you do it?"

"I know it's no excuse but I was furious. He said something and it just made me see red."

"I wasn't only talking about his face."

"Oh"

"Is that all you can say?"

"No. I can't explain but it's not like it seems, honestly."

She glared at him for a few seconds and then looked away, relenting.

"Oh Jack," she said, "you've really messed it up haven't you?"

"Yeah." He nodded sadly.

"Is there any way you can make this better?"

"I don't know, maybe. If I could talk to him, explain things. Do you think he'd listen to me?"

"He might, but you'll never know unless you go over there and try."

He full on grinned at her.

"Tosh you're a genius," he cried. He looked at his watch and frowned. "Oh, I can't go now though, he'll be at practice."

"He won't." She smiled, "Doctor Harper signed him off for a few days."

He bounded out the door shouting "cover for me," over his shoulder as he left.

She shook her head at him indulgently. He was in such a rush that one or two of the papers on her desk fluttered to the floor.

She picked up her phone to ring Ianto and warn him that Jack was coming over but it went straight to voicemail. She hit the end call button and sent him a text instead.

* * *

Like Tosh and Gwen before him, Jack gasped when he saw Ianto's face. He tentatively reached out his hand but the other man recoiled from his touch.

"I'm not going to hurt you."

"How did you get past the intercom system?" Ianto asked.

"The old lady from downstairs was going out as I came in. She recognised me."

Ianto thought he'd have to have a word with her about security and what was the point of having an intercom system if people just let other people in willy nilly.

"What do you want?" he asked coldly.

"Can I come in?"

"No, you can't. I'm busy."

"Look, I'm sorry. Please. I never meant to hurt you."

"Forget it Jack," the other man replied, "Like I said, I'm busy."

"I won't stay long. I just want to explain a few things."

"There's nothing to explain. Look can we do this later." His gaze flicked nervously to the side. "I'm tired and I had a late night. Come back later and we can talk as much as you like."

"We could talk now," Jack pleaded, "I just want to say I'm....."

He stopped in mid sentence, his face frozen in shock as a blond Adonis, aged about 19 with long flowing locks and golden tanned skin stepped out from behind the door. He was naked except for a pair of black boxer shorts and he wrapped his arms around Ianto, pulling him close and resting his chin on his shoulder.

"Look, mate. You're just not getting it are you. Like he says we're busy, now fuck off!"

Jack couldn't be sure, but as the door slammed shut in his face, he could swear he heard the sound of giggling behind the closed door.


	27. The Night Before The Morning After

Ianto hadn't spent a great deal of time exploring the scene in Cardiff. It wasn't that he was averse to the odd night of dodgy pharmaceuticals and loud music. He was even partial to a little pushing up too close to a hot, sweaty body, in spite of his deep rooted touch taboo at other times. Actually he'd been a regular at some of Liverpool's premier gay clubs and when the effects of the rhythmic beats, bright lights and semi legal substances took hold, he was quite the mover. In Cardiff, however things were very different. He'd always been too afraid of being recognised for one thing, and after he'd been outed, he'd had Jack to consider. Although the American would never admit it, Ianto suspected that Jack was beginning to feel a little too long in the tooth for clubbing, so they'd stayed at home or gone to the pictures or had quiet tete-a -tetes in nice restaurants.

Ianto had had a light bulb moment. He was 23 years old and he'd been acting way too seriously for a newly outed gay man with the Cardiff scene waiting to be discovered. The more he thought about it the more he wanted to know what the LGBT community had to offer in his hometown. Sunday wasn't everyone's ideal party night it was true, but Ianto knew enough to know which bars and clubs held Sunday clubbing nights, and even if he didn't, isn't that what the internet was for.

Standing in his bedroom in front of his perfectly organised wardrobe, he remembered another night he'd spent stressing over what to wear. He almost reached for a suit and tie combo before shaking his head at himself and pulling out the tight jeans and tee-shirt he'd bought on his last shopping trip with his sister. He had a quick shower and shave, spent a few minutes styling his hair and then dressed, leaving his apartment with a shortlist of bars and clubs in his pocket. He'd start with the bars first and see how it went. Maybe he wouldn't make it to a club tonight, but if not there would be other nights.

The first bar on Ianto's list was quiet, only a dozen or so patrons. Ianto thought he'd mark it for a return visit anyway, on a Friday or Saturday when it was bound to be more alive. A staged area indicated that they had entertainment, maybe even an open mic night, not that he'd be persuaded to sing in public himself. The decor was bright and tasteful, not a pink fluffy cushion or glitter ball in sight.

He sat down on a bar stool to wait until the bartender was finished serving his customer. He sneaked a look while he waited and liked what he saw, very good looking, all blond hair and tanned surfer boy. Australian by the look of him, Ianto guessed. Surfer boy glanced over, caught Ianto's eye and grinned. The Welshman was reminded of Jack's megawatt grin. He felt his cheeks redden and he coughed and looked away, causing Surfer Boy to chuckle. Ianto leaned on the bar, resting his chin on his hands and allowing himself a ghost of a smile.

Surfer Boy surprised him a few moments later by hooking an arm around his neck and planting a passionate kiss on his lips. It wasn't as good as one of Jack's but it was pleasant enough and after the initial shock he found himself kissing back.

"You're new," Surfer Boy stated when it was over. His accent confirmed Ianto's speculation about his nationality.

"Do you do that with every new customer?" He asked.

"Only the cute ones."

Ianto gave the Australian his trademark eye roll.

"You need better lines," he groaned, "not even I'd fall for that one and I've got to tell you I'm pretty naive. I even fell for the "I watch you while you sleep because you're beautiful" line."

"I don't know about pretty naive, but you're certainly pretty." Surfer Boy smirked, "and I promise when I use that line on you it will be the absolute truth."

"Hey," Ianto exclaimed, "who said I was going to let you sleep with me?"

"We'll see."

Surfer Boy stroked Ianto's cheek letting his hand linger over the bruise.

"Boyfriend?" he asked, sadly.

"Ex." Ianto clarified.

"Good, I hope you told him to get lost."

"Not exactly but he's gone."

Ianto's phone beeped and Surfer Boy took the opportunity to ask him what he wanted to drink. He raised an eyebrow at the Welshman choice of a pint of coke but he didn't comment. Ianto looked at his phone and his face lit up. He quickly sent back another text and grinned handing the bartender a five pound note. Surfer Boy sighed as he took it.

"Well, it was nice talking to you." he said curtly, handing Ianto his change.

Ianto was left wondering what he'd done wrong. He took a sip of his coke and shrugged to himself. _Oh well, his loss_, he thought. He was about to move away and find a table when Surfer Boy came back.

"Look, it's none of my business" he said, "but he hit you, why would you let him back in just like that without putting up a fight."

"Sorry," Ianto frowned, "what are you talking about?"

"The boyfriend. He sends you a text, your face lights up and you send him one straight back. You could at least have made him sweat."

Ah, Surfer Boy's reaction made perfect sense now. "That wasn't my boyfriend." Ianto explained, "It was just a friend, we fell out but we just made up."

"Oh,.....Good." Surfer Boy smiled and Ianto was delighted to discover he wasn't the only man in Wales who blushed. "I'm glad."

"So" Ianto asked, changing the subject, "what's your name, I can't go on calling you Surfer Boy all night?"

"Surfer Boy, why Surfer Boy?"

"Blond hair, tan, cargo shorts and flip flops in December."

"Ah, you got me. It's Jay."

"Hello, Jay. Ianto."

He raised his pint of coke and nodded his head.

"Ianto is that your name or some kind of Welsh toast."

"It's my name," he said.

"Well, Ianto. It's nice to meet you. Do you surf?"

"I'm Welsh."

"So?"

"We don't surf. We don't even swim. We sink."

Jay Laughed. There was a cough from the other side of the bar.

"Stay right there." Jay moved off to serve a customer.

"So, when does your shift end?" Ianto asked when Jay returned, giving him a sly grin.

* * *

_**2 months later:**_

Jack stared at the supermarket shelf and tried to remember what he was supposed to buy. He was finding it increasingly difficult to retain any kind of information these and for someone who worked in research that was becoming problematic. He knew Andy had been covering for him for a few weeks now, he was just finding it hard to muster up the energy to care. Jack was a mess. He hadn't shaved for a couple of days, his clothes we're rumpled and really! Was that egg on his collar? How John would laugh if he could see him now. The great Captain Jack Harkness brought low by a slip of thing, an unsophisticated Welsh valley's boy with no clue how marvellously, astonishingly, incredibly, mind-blowingly beautiful he was.

"Ianto, honey. Will shop brand baby oil do or do you want Johnsons?"

Jack's ears pricked up. _No, no! It can't be.. _But then this was Wales, there must be hundreds of people called Ianto in Cardiff_. Although how many of them were gay with Australian boyfriends?_ Jack thought.

_Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. _He searched for an escape route but finding none he put on his best, "everything is fine, better than fine in fact" grin and bellowed.

"Hey, Ianto. Did ya miss me?"

"Jack!"

"You look good." Jack commented, he felt his stomach give a little flip. The man actually did look good. No pining away for his lost love for him then. He sounded bitter even in his own head.

"and you look...." Ianto let his voice trail away.

Jack sighed, dropping any pretence that everything was fine.

"I look like shit. I know. I've not been doing so well."

Jay moved to stand behind Ianto, placing his chin on the other man's shoulder, replicating his stance from the morning Jack had first caught them together. The Welshman looked over his shoulder at the blond, transmitting a silent message to him.

"Right," Jay said, placing a kiss on his boyfriend's shoulder, "I think I'll go look at the CD's. Come find me when you're done."

Ianto smiled a thank you at him.

"Oh and Ianto," Jay held up a finger and tapped the side of the other man's nose with it, "Don't go slipping a couple of pork chops in that shopping basket while my back is turned."

Jay moved away and Ianto grinned after him.

"Don't worry, I won't forget. Meat is murder, right." He laughed.

He turned back to Jack, the smile falling from his face when he took note of the American's expression.

"What?" he asked.

"He tells you what to eat?"

"It's not like that, he just feels strongly about it, and anyway I like vegetarian food."

"And he called you honey."

"So"

"You hate pet names."

"Look, Jack. What are you trying to get at?"

"Is he's a bit controlling?"

"That's rich coming from you."

"I never controlled you."

"Not intentionally."

Jack sighed. "I'm sorry, I don't want to argue with you."

"Then don't pass comment on my relationship. It's none of your business."

"I know. You're right. I'm sorry."

Ianto nodded. "Okay."

"By the way," he went on, "how long are we going to ignore the elephant in the room?"

Jack didn't have to ask which elephant Ianto was referring to. It wasn't so much the elephant in the room as the elephant in the supermarket shopping trolley and it wasn't so much an elephant as a bumper pack of new born nappies.

"Just a bit longer." Jack replied.

"I was thinking," he continued, "maybe...that is if you'd like, we could meet up some time. For a coffee? Just as friends. I've missed you."

"I don't think that's such a good idea do you?"

"Probably not." Jack sighed.

"Well, I've got to go. It was good to see you again," Ianto lied. He touched the American on the shoulder, "Look after yourself, yeah?"

"Yeah?" Jack gave him a weak smile, "you too."

He watched his former lover walk away, and much as he loved the two people waiting at home for him, he wished he didn't have responsibilities. If he was free, he'd get out of Cardiff as fast as his beloved car would carry him.


	28. The Big Reveal

Jack kicked open his front door and, struggling under the weight of several supermarket shopping bags, almost tripped over his dog.

"Okay girl, let's get rid of these first, yeah?"

He dumped the bags on the kitchen table and fished out a pack of doggy treats.

At that moment, a woman entered, cradling a baby who was sucking hungrily from a bottle.

"You spoil that thing." She said.

Jack gave a mock gasp of horror and covered the dog's ears with his hands.

"Shh, don't let her hear you, she could turn nasty."

"No she couldn't," the woman sniggered, "she's far too lazy. By the way you look like crap."

"Jee. Don't hold back, will ya? Say what you mean."

She put the bottle down on the kitchen counter, lifted the baby up over her shoulder and started rubbing its back.

"Sorry, but it's true. Did you remember the baby milk?"

Jack groaned and she shook her head at him.

"You never used to be this forgetful." She teased, "I think it must be your age?"

He pouted. "Ooh, that was low."

The woman cocked her head to one side, contemplating his appearance.

"How are you really?" She asked, "I'm worried about you."

"I'm fine." He assured her.

"You know, I love you, right?"

"I know you do," he sighed," and I love you too."

Her face darkened a little.

"More than you love him?"

He looked up sharply.

"It's not a competition." He snapped.

She opened her mouth to respond but was interrupted by the sound of a loud burp and they both burst out laughing, their anger forgotten.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that." She apologised. "I just want you to be happy, you know."

"You make me happy," he said. He lifted the baby from her shoulder and laughed as the infant tried to latch on to his neck. "you and this little fella."

He picked up the bottle from the kitchen counter and smiled contently as the baby started to suck.

* * *

Ianto nervously chewed at his thumb nail while Jay unpacked groceries.

"What?" Jay growled eventually, "What am I doing wrong this time?"

The Welshman removed the thumb from his mouth and turned his hand over; giving his finger nails a thorough inspection.

"Nothing, it's nothing." He mumbled.

"Obviously, it's something." Jay fumed, "But I can't think what. I've put the stuff with later sell by dates at the back, I haven't mixed up jars and tins and I've re-organised the packets in size order, so what the hell is it this time?"

Ianto bit his bottom lip hard and tried not to cry.

"Yes, thank you Jay. I'm quite aware how pathetic I am."

"Strewth, Ianto. I didn't mean to upset you." Jay ran a hand through his long hair, "Look, why don't you make some of your fantastic coffee and then you can tell me what I did wrong."

"I wish you'd try to understand," Ianto whimpered, "you can't think I enjoy being like this?"

"You're right, I don't understand, but I will try. Now come on, how about that coffee? You know coffee always calms you."

With an air of someone reluctantly following orders, Ianto started fiddling with the coffee machine. After a few minutes though, he had to grudgingly admit that Jay was right, coffee did always calm him.

"I'm sorry," he said, "It's just me; I'm out of sorts today."

"You were fine before we went shopping. Was it Jack, did he say something?"

"Forget it, it's not important."

"Was it something about me?"

"Drop it, Jay. It's none of his business anyway. I can't believe he actually thought I'd want to meet up with him after what he did."

Jay stayed silent until Ianto handed him him the mug of coffee. He took a moment to savour the aroma before taking a sip.

"You know if you want to see him again," he said, "you can. I don't mind?"

"Sorry, what?"

"Jack. If you want to see him again, it's okay with me."

"Well, yeah but....."

"I mean, it's not like you or me are exclusive or anything."

Ianto swallowed. He felt a tightening in his chest and his stomach dropped. He picked up a cloth from the sink drainer and started rubbing it absent mindedly over the all ready sparkling counter tops.

"Wait," Jay said, "you didn't think....."

"What, me and you. Nah, Don't be silly."

"Good." Jay looked relieved, "I mean there's no way you and me would work long term."

"Yeah," Ianto agreed weakly, "Nooo way"

"Anyway, gotta go," Jay jumped out of his seat, drained his mug and handed it to Ianto. He kissed the young Welshman on the cheek and skipped out the door with a shout of, "see ya tomorrow."

Ianto waited until he heard the front door slam before throwing Jay's mug against the wall and yelling in frustration.

* * *

They met on the plass outside the little tourist shop. There was a short awkward moment as both men hesitated over whether to shake hands, kiss or hug each other. Jack solved the dilemma by pulling the younger man into a hug, then cupping his face and going in for the full on snog. Ianto was grateful Jack had shaved since their last meeting as he never could abide hirsute men, like kissing sandpaper.

"Let's go get coffee." Jack said, "I know a great little place just around the corner."

Ianto grinned when he realised where they we're going.

"You remembered?" Jack beamed.

"How could I forget?" The younger man indicated a spot just outside the little coffee shop, "We had our first fight, right here,"

"I made you cry," Jack said, sadly.

"But the make up sex was great."

"Both times," Jack agreed, grinning.

* * *

"How have you been," Jack asked after they had ordered their drinks.

"Oh you know me," the other man answered, cryptically.

"...and what's his name, Jay?"

Ianto shook his head and shrugged.

"Oh ,him? We're just good friends,.....apparently."

"Fuck buddies?" Jack sympathised.

"Well, I wasn't going to be quite so crude. I was going to say friends with benefits, but yeah, Fuck buddies about covers it."

"I'm sorry."

"Not your fault. It's what I do. I've been doing it all my life. Some random guy is nice to me and I fall in love," he clicked his fingers, "just like that. Mark, you, Jay. I was even a little bit in love with Rhys for a while."

Jack chuckled, "Rhys, yeah I know."

Ianto raised his eyes to the ceiling and groaned.

"You knew. Bloody hell, do I walk around with my heart on my sleeve."

"You do a bit."

Jack smiled. One of the many inconsistencies about this sometimes difficult, often complex, fascinating, beautiful man was that he could be both guarded and closed off and at the same time open and overly emotional.

Ianto felt his heart stop as he noticed the way Jack was looking at him. It was a look he recognised from when they'd been together, the one that made the hair on the back of his neck stand on end and confused the hell out of him. Before he could ask Jack what it meant, the American was asking him about rugby.

"Oh, yeah," Ianto told him, "It's official. I made the 2012 squad."

Jack grinned and the moment was over.

"That's excellent, well done."

* * *

Their mugs were empty and long since cold and Jack could no longer put off the inevitable.

"I've got to go," he sighed. He pushed back his chair and made to stand up but Ianto reached out and grabbed his sleeve.

"Jack, wait. Don't go without telling me about your baby. I know you've been avoiding it but I want to know. What did you have a boy or a girl?"

"A boy."

Jack's smile lit up his face and if Ianto had been holding onto any bitterness, he let it go. Anything that put that smile on Jack's face was fine by him.

"Is he beautiful?" he asked, "I guess he must be if he takes after his dad."

Jack made a noise in the back of his throat. He gave Ianto the look, the one that made the young Welshman's heart stop.

"Oh, he is beautiful," he said. He stood up and reached across the table, pushing a few loose strands of hair behind the other man's ear, "but as to whether or not he takes after his Dad, I wouldn't know. I've never met the guy."

And with that, he turned and walked out the cafe, leaving Ianto staring opened mouth at the door.

* * *

"Wait. What. Wait."

_Damn that man and his dramatic exits._

Ianto leapt out of his chair and made a dash for the door, knocking into the table and causing the crockery to rattle noisily. An elderly couple at a nearby table glared at him and the man muttered something about young people.

He ran out the door, ignoring the disapproving looks.

"Jack, Wait!" He yelled.

Ianto was running so fast and Jack stopped so suddenly that the American had to reach out his arm to stop the other man from running right past him. He pulled him into a hug and they held on to each other breathlessly.

"Jack what's going on," Ianto asked, eventually.

Jack stroked his cheek with the back of his hand.

"Have lunch with me and I'll tell you all about it."

* * *

Jack took out his wallet, removed a photograph and handed it to his former lover.

"She's very pretty." The Welshman said. "But who is she?"

Jack shook his head. "You're not going to understand, not all of it, not right away."

"Try me."

He played with a beer mat. Turning it around and around in his hand and tapping the edge of it on the table. After a few seconds, he put the beer mat down, took a deep breath and began.

"When I was 15 I was full of teenage angst and rebellion, like most 15 year olds. Trouble was my parents were so fucking liberal; nothing I did fazed them even a tiny bit. I tried arranging it so they'd catch me in bed with my best friend but my Mom thought she'd died and gone to heaven, she was so proud. She told all her friends how mature it was of me to be able to express my sexuality so openly; so I hit upon the idea of telling them I wanted to join the military. Finally I'd found a way to get them to notice me and they were furious; it was like world war three had broken out at home. In the end they sent me to my grandparents in Scotland to finish my schooling and said if I still wanted to join up when I returned I could do it and I'd have their blessing."

"That's a great story, Jack" Ianto interrupted, "but what has it got to do with that girl?"

"I'm getting to it. Just let me tell it my way. Where was I? Oh yeah, my first day in my new school, our eyes met across the common room and it was infatuation at first sight. It was the same old story. Boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy does what comes naturally and hey presto, 9 months later....." he picked the photograph up from the table and waved it about.

Ianto blinked a couple of times.

"She's you're daughter." He gasped, "But if she's your daughter, why the fuck, did you let me think........"

"Her name's Melissa and I didn't let you think anything. If you remember, you didn't give me much of a chance, you just assumed."

"But you could have put me right, that night outside the stadium."

"I could have, but I was so fucking furious I could hardly think straight. I couldn't believe you didn't trust me. Of course, the next morning, I realised what an idiot I'd been. Of course you didn't trust me, why would you, I was keeping something from you, a lot of things actually. That morning I decided I was going to tell you everything and hope you could forgive me."

Ianto palmed his face and groaned.

"Shit. That's why you came round that morning and I was.....oh god. I'm such a fucking idiot."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, both lost in their own thoughts.

"I'm still confused though," Ianto frowned, "why didn't you tell me you had a daughter in the first place. If you had none of this would have happened."

"Look at the photograph, Ianto."

The Welshman picked up the photograph, looked at it and then looked back up at Jack. His brow creased and he shrugged, shaking his head.

"I don't understand."

Jack took a sip of his drink.

"I was nearly 17 when she born, which if I'm 33 would make her 16 now, right?"

"so?"

"She's not 16, Ianto."

Ianto continued to look confused for a moment and then his eyes opened wide and he glared at jack.

"How old?" he snapped.

Jack exhaled noisily.

"Same age as you," he said, "23."

"Actually I meant you, but if she's 23 that would make you......."

"40, next birthday. The big 4 0, Ianto. I'm a fucking old man, are you happy now."

Ianto's mouth dropped open.

"40. You're 40." he gasped. "Wait, you said you were keeping a lot of stuff from me, what else is there?"

Jack pursed his lips and bowed his head.

"My war record........." he paused and rubbed his face before continuing, "During the last conflict, I wasn't in the Gulf, I was in Homeland Security."

"Jack, how could you, people are dying out there."

"Do you think I don't know that!" Jack's head snapped up, "Some of them were my friends. I didn't lie to you about it, I just didn't tell the truth. You asked me was I in the Gulf and I said yes but you never asked me when I was there. Desert Storm, Ianto. You probably read about it in your history books, god knows you're not old enough to actually remember it. How was I supposed to tell you that in 1990 when you we're still in primary school, making plastercine models and finger painting, I was out in the Gulf killing people and getting shot at?"

"Actually when I was 7, I was solving quadratic equations and winning chess tournaments."

"IANTO!"

"Sorry, go on."

Jack continued in a softer voice.

"When I found out my daughter was pregnant and wanted to come and live with me, I knew I couldn't keep it a secret from you anymore. You'd find out I'd been lying, you'd be mad at me and I was afraid you might reject me because I'm old."

"You're not old."

"I'm old enough to be your dad. Plus I'd told Melissa about you and to say she was shocked was an understatement. Not because you're a man because she loved John, he was like a second father to her. It was just the age difference. She kept going on about me being a dangerous influence and how could I be a proper grandfather when I was acting like a teenager." Jack chuckled, "She thinks you're my mid life crisis. I thought she might actually stop me seeing the baby, so I decided not to take the risk that you'd hate me for lying or because I was old, just finish things with you and let you think it was because I didn't care about you."

Jack took Ianto's hand in both of his.

"Except I couldn't do it. I kept making excuses and putting it off; and then on that night when you asked me to dance, I thought it meant something, it was a sign. I decided to tell Melissa I was staying with you and make her understand that I loved you."

"You loved me."

"I still do, Ianto." Jack said, letting go of the hand and sitting back, "I love you. Goddamn it, Ianto Jones. I love you."

Ianto looked around the bar nervously.

"Say something, please." Jack implored.

Ianto gave the American a watery smile.

"I loved you so much. Back then, if you'd said what you've just said, I would have been ecstatic."

"But now?" Jack asked.

"Now? I don't know. I don't know if I love you anymore and I'm wondering if I ever did."

Jack looked crestfallen.

"I'm sorry, I don't want to hurt you but sometimes I think I fall too easily. Owen thinks I'm searching for a father figure. Even with Jay who's actually younger than me. You were right about him by the way, he is a bit controlling, but I wanted that and maybe that's why I was attracted to you too."

"Is there anyway, though, you and I........Now everything is out in the open."

Ianto shook his head.

"I don't think so Jack. I think I need to be on my own for a bit to work out what I really want. It's not y......"

"Don't!" Jack eyes flashed.

"Don't what?"

"Don't you dare, say it's not you, it's me."

Ianto felt his eyes watering.

"We we're good though yeah?" he whispered.

"Yeah," Jack answered. His voice was breaking and he didn't feel able to say any more.

"Don't forget me." Ianto stood up and smiled down at the other man.

"Never could," Jack rose, running his hand up and down the Welshman's arm.

"Goodbye, Jack."

Jack went to kiss him on the lips but he turned his cheek and the kiss landed awkwardly on the side of his mouth.

"Good bye, Ianto. I promise, I won't forget you."

Ianto gave him a tight smile and walked out of the pub and out of Jack's life.

* * *

_4 weeks later._

Jack opened the door and blinked in surprise at his former lover.

"Well are you going to ask me in?"

"Sorry. Sorry. Of course." Jack faltered, "come in. I'm just a little surprised to see you."

He stood aside to let the other man in.

"What are you doing here?" he asked "Not that I'm not glad to see you. I'm just surprised."

"Your daughter rang me. She's worried about you."

"Sit down. Let me get you a drink." Jack offered

"Looks like you've all ready had a head start on me, Jack." He pointed to a half empty tumbler of whisky. "Really, drinking on your own, during the day..."and this," he went on, waving his hand at Jack's appearance, "what's this all about?"

Without a word, Jack rose, crossed to the old, wooden desk in the corner of the room and opened the bottom drawer. He took out a battered tin, lifted the lid and let his fingers ghost over the contents. He pulled something out and handed it to his former lover.

The other man looked at it and smiled. He hummed appreciatively.

"Ah......." he nodded, "........Eye-Candy."


	29. The Course of True Love Never Did run Sm

Jack rolled his eyes,

"Eye-Candy?"

"Well, judging by the photograph," John smirked, "he is quite pretty, and about 15 by the looks of him."

"He's 23, actually." Jack growled.

"15, 23 what's the difference?"

"One's legal for one thing. Look John, not that it isn't amazing to see you again, but what the hell are you doing here?"

"I told you, Melissa called me."

"And you hopped on a plane and flew 10 hours over the Atlantic just to make sure I was okay?"

"Well, no. I'm on secondment. I'm on this side of the pond for another 6 weeks and then I go back. You and Eye-Candy what's the story?"

Jack looked embarrassed.

"Come on, Captain Harkness. Spill."

"I told him I was 33." Jack sighed.

John snorted and covered his mouth, trying to stifle a laugh.

"Yes, thank you. It's not that funny." Jack pouted.

"Yes, it is. It's hilarious. Is he stupid or just blind?"

"Hey, I could easily pass for 33 and he's not stupid, he's really clever."

"Yes. Of course he is. What does he do?"

"He plays rugby," Jack said, shooting John a warning look, "and I thought you we're here to cheer you up."

"I know but what can I say, this is just too much fun. Now, first things, first. I want you out of those clothes..."

Jack raised his eyebrow.

.....and in to the shower to clean yourself up. I want you showered, shaved and into some half decent clothes, then you can show me Cardiff."

Jack grinned.

"I really loved you, you know John."

"Yeah, me too. Now get your ass up those stairs."

* * *

"5, 4, 3, 2, 1" Ianto clicked the button on his stopwatch and gave his friend an apologetic smile, "Sorry, Tosh. You ran out a time again, you miss another go."

"Do we have to play the speed version," she sighed, "I'm really not good at making snap decisions."

"Ah but it's the only way I can beat you."

"That's not true, you beat me all the time."

"Okay, it's the only way I can guarantee to beat you and you know how competitive I am. You staying tonight?"

"You don't mind?"

"Not at all." He topped her glass up from a bottle of wine and then set it back down beside their chess board.

"Tosh, are we sad?"

"Why?"

"Er, It's Saturday Evening and we are spending it with each other instead of with our non-existent boyfriends."

"I thought you liked spending time with me."

"I do, but......"

"You wish you had someone special to spend it with."

They both sighed, wistfully.

"And neither of us have dates for Rhys' surprise birthday party next week. We'll have to go together again and you know the guys are starting to talk...."

He broke off, noticing she was looking at him sheepishly.

"You got a date, didn't you?" he groaned. "Who is it, Come on, Sato. I want all the details. If I can't have a love life, at least I can get to hear all about yours."

"Don't be mad, Ianto. It's Owen."

"Owen. Oh that's just great, Sorry Tosh, I'm really pleased for you but it's going to be you and Owen, Gwen and Rhys, Johnny and Rhiannon......and me. And why do I get the feeling there's something else you're not telling me?"

Tosh grimaced.

"Gwen's invited Jack." She said.

"Jack!" he exclaimed, "Rhys doesn't even like Jack."

"True, but Gwen does and you know what she's like and there's more." she paused. ".....He's bringing someone."

Ianto's mouth formed a silent "oh" and he nodded slowly.

"That's.......nice for him."

"I'll tell Owen I'm going with you."

"No, no, no. No you won't. One of us has to get a life."

"What happened with you and Jack anyway? He told me all about his daughter, he said he'd told you he loved you and wanted you back so why aren't you with him?"

"That's easy Tosh, I don't love him anymore."

She laughed.

"What?" he said, "I don't."

"No, Ianto, of course you don't."

"Will you stop saying I still love him, I don't. It's been 4 months you know and I was with Jay for 3 of those."

"Do you miss Jay?"

"Nah, still see him, just as a friend mind you, no benefits."

"So when you see Jay do angels sing, do you hear violins, does your chest hurt and your stomach turn over and when you think about him do your insides turn to mush and your palms sweat."

"No. None of those things happen."

"And Jack?"

Ianto thought about it for a few minutes, he opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again. He cocked his head and frowned. Slowly, he unfurled his brow and his eyes opened wide.

"Oh my god!" he cried, "Tosh what am I going to do, I'm still in love with Jack."


	30. Couplings

Ianto was on door duty. What with Tosh giggling like a demented school girl at Owen's attempts at rakish wit, Rhiannon regaling anyone who would listen on the relative merits of full sit down versus buffet, Johnny doing a passable impersonation of a rabbit caught in headlights, Gwen pacing and muttering about where Rhys could have got to and Jay off flirting with one of Rhys' friends, it was left to him to meet and greet.

His best "meet and greet" face dropped however when he was confronted by Jack Harkness and his date, a man who in Ianto's opinion was blessed with a an air of self confidence bordering on arrogance.

Jack smiled.

Angels singing. Check.

Violins playing. Check.

Chest hurting. Check.

Insides turning to mush. Check.

Palms sweating. Check.

"_Fuck!" _thought Ianto.

"Well Eye-Candy," the annoying man smirked, "are you going to let us in or not?"

"The name's Ianto." Ianto growled, "Ifan if you must, I'll answer to Yan or even Yanni on a good day."

"Whatever you say, Eye-Candy," John grinned, "now be a good boy and run along and get us a drink."

Jack stepped past Ianto and looked at him apologetically.

"Sorry," he muttered under his breath. At that moment Jack was whisked away by an over excited Gwen Williams forcing Ianto to stare after him longingly. He ignored the look of disdain John was shooting his way, shaking his head in a vain attempt to dislodge the angels and violins.

* * *

Ianto was sitting in his best friend's kitchen trying to remember where the line about always finding me in the kitchen at parties came from and wondering if his life could get any sadder. After all if there was one thing sadder than inviting your fuck buddy to a party it was inviting your ex-fuck buddy. As if on cue, the man himself appeared in the doorway.

"Here you are, I've been looking for you."

"He's straight, by the way." Ianto replied.

"Huh, who?"

"The guy you were chatting up earlier."

"They all say they're straight, Ianto."

"but _he_ is."

"Yeah, I know," Jay conceded, "I wasn't interested in him anyway. It's just fun to watch the straights sweat."

Ianto sniggered.

"Ah, there you go." Jay gave him a playful shove, "You should laugh more often, you look beautiful when you smile. Why are you hiding out here anyway?"

"First of all," Ianto wagged a finger, "I've told you before, don't waste your lines on me, I'm not buying it and secondly, I'm hiding out here because the violins were getting on my nerves."

Jay looked confused.

"Huh?"

"Never mind. I'm just fed up with Jack's date refusing to address me as anything other than Eye-Candy. No forget that, I'm fed up with Jack's date addressing me at all."

"Ah, the green eyed monster. I knew you were still in love with him, even when we were together. That's why I knew we could never work out. Well, that and the fact I'm a free spirit. By the way, did I spy you scoffing a sausage roll earlier?"

Ianto tutted.

"I was only doing the vegetarian thing to impress you. I'd have thought that was obvious."

The Australian took a sharp intake of breath.

"Ianto Jones I'm shocked at you." he laughed. He moved a little closer and bumped their knees together, spreading the other man's legs apart so he could stand between them. He wrapped his arms around his waist and raised his eye brow's suggestively.

"Are you offering me a pity fuck?" Ianto asked him.

"_nuh_-_uh," _Jay shook his head_. "_I think I'm asking the best looking man here if he'd like to blow this joint and spend the night with me."

Jay licked his lips and closed the gap between them, moving slowly, giving Ianto ample opportunity to back off. Ianto hopped off the stool and for a second Jay thought he was giving him the brush off. However he pressed their lips together and pushed the Australian backwards until his back collided with a kitchen cupboard. The kiss deepened and when they pulled away they were both panting slightly.

"Was that as a yes?" Jay purred.

"Make me forget how miserable I am." Ianto replied.

Jack watched over John's shoulder as two men, one sexy and impeccably tailored Welshman and one scruffy and far too full of himself Australian, left hand in hand, giggling and barely keeping their hands of each other.

* * *

_Gwen and Rhys, Rhys' surprise birthday party, 10.30pm_

"Okay," Rhys scratched his head. "Let me see if I can get this right. Ianto _was_ in love with Jack but Jack wasn't in love with him, or so we thought, but as it turns out he did love him but he was pretending not to be because he had a secret love child."

"Well, she's not exactly a child but yeah."

"Don't interrupt Gwen, I'm just starting to get this straight in my head. So Jack and Ianto are in love but for whatever reason they won't admit it to each other. Until Jack decides he's going to just come out and say it. However before he gets a chance to they have a massive fight because Ianto thinks he's having an affair."

Gwen glared at Rhys.

"Don't you glare at me Gwen Williams, none of this is my fault. If you'd have seen them together in that pub you would have jumped to the same conclusion. Now, where was I? Jack's going to tell Ianto that he loves him but before he can, they have a massive fight and Jack loses his cool and hits him. Ianto in a fit of pique goes out and sleeps with someone else. Jack wants him back but now Ianto thinks he's in love with Jay so Jack is out of the picture. Then Jay tells him it's not serious but Jack is still out of the picture because Ianto has decided he's not in love with either of them. Then he realises he is in love with Jack after all, but now Jack's ex is back and Ianto thinks he hasn't got a chance so he's sleeping with Jay again."

"Well, yeah. That's about it." Gwen shrugged. "Now do you understand?"

"Nope, not a clue." Rhys shook his head "And while we're at it, there's one more thing."

"What's that?"

Rhys sighed, "When did my life turn into an episode of Friends?"

* * *

_Tosh and Owen, outside Tosh's front door, 11.30pm_

"Thanks for walking me home, Owen." Tosh batted her eyelids.

Owen put his hands in his jeans pocket and bobbed his head.

"S'okay." He replied, nonchalantly kicking a stone under his foot.

"I had a good time." Tosh smiled.

"Em, yeah. Me too."

"So..."

"So..."

"Would you like to come in for coffee?"

Owen stopped kicking the stone and his face brightened into a huge grin.

"I thought you'd never ask."

* * *

_Johnny and Rhiannon, Rhys' surprise birthday party, 11.45pm._

"I'm worried about Ianto," Rhiannon sighed.

"You're always worried about Ianto." Johnny groaned. "You know," he went on tentatively; "maybe you should back off a bit. He is 23 after all."

"Well yes, but this is Ianto we're talking about. He's not exactly your average 23 year old is he?"

"Rhia?" Johnny questioned, taking his fiancée's hand, "Do you ever think that maybe, he's the way he is because you've molly coddled him for so long?"

Rhiannon snapped her hand away.

"Johnny Davis, you have no idea what you are talking about," she retorted, "you weren't there, you don't know what it was like."

Johnny put her arm around her shoulder.

"I know, I'm sorry," he apologised. "It was just a suggestion. Forget I said anything."

* * *

_Jay and Ianto, Ianto's bed, midnight_

"God, Ianto. You look beautiful when you've just been shagged."

"Lines, Jay." Ianto mumbled.

"It's not a line," the Australian snapped angrily, "why can't you ever accept a compliment."

Ianto shifted his weight so that he was facing the other man.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I didn't mean to make you angry."

"It's okay."Jay rubbed his hand up and down the Welshman's thigh, "I didn't mean to snap but you can be incredibly frustrating sometimes. You're too cynical. Just believe me when I tell you, you're beautiful.

"Thanks," Ianto grinned.

Jay raised his eyebrows at the other man.

"This is the part where you are supposed to tell me you think I'm beautiful too." He admonished.

"Oh," Ianto sighed, "That's why I'm no good at the relationship thing. I don't get the rules."

"Never mind, I'll teach you."

Jay rolled on to his back and pulled the Welshman against his side.

"Are we snuggling?" Ianto sniggered.

"I think we are," Jay laughed, "now shut up and go to sleep."

"You are by the way."

"Huh?"

"Beautiful."

"Ah."

Jay pulled Ianto tighter as he felt himself drifting off.

"Jay?" Ianto queried.

Jay sighed.

"What, Ianto?"

"Do you ever miss it? Australia I mean."

"I miss the sunshine and the surfing but I never really fitted in there."

"How come?"

"Duh, I'm a gay, vegetarian."

"So?"

"An Australian, gay vegetarian?"

"Oh yeah." Ianto chuckled, "Chuck another lentil burger and stuffed pepper on the barby for me. It doesn't really work does it?"

"No it doesn't. And every time I went out with my mates one of them would go to the bar and order '8 pints of Fosters and a pina colada for the woofter.' Don't laugh, I'm not joking."

"Would you go back if you could?"

"Why, would you miss me?"

"Yup."

"Anyway, it's academic. I have to go back."

Ianto looked up at him.

"Why?"

"Haven't you realised it yet." The Australian answered. "I'm only here on a student visa. I haven't been to Uni for six months. As soon as they catch up with me, I'm on the first boat outta here."

"Oh, I didn't know."

Another long moment of silence followed. Ianto shifted his weight again, making himself more comfortable. He yawned sleepily.

"I could marry you." he mumbled, "then you could stay."

His eyes shot open as he realised what he said.

Jay just laughed.

"Don't worry," he said, "I won't hold you to any post coital promises."

Ianto was quiet for a moment or two.

"No, wait Jay," he said eventually, "I would do it, happily. I mean if you want to. Maybe we're not in love but we get on okay and the sex is great and you could stay if we had a commitment ceremony."

"Really, you'd do that for me?"

"Sure, I like you, it wouldn't be that big a hardship and it's not as if I've got anything to lose."

Jay grinned.

"Ianto Jones," he sat up and knelt on the bed, taking the other man's hand in his "Will you marry me?" he laughed.

"Yep." Ianto smiled back, "I think I will."

* * *

_John and Jack, Jack's bed, 8.30am_

Jack yawned and stretched, then frowned when his hand hit something unexpected. He turned his head slowly.

"Oh fuck. John. Please tell me we didn't."

"Hmm," John leered, "Didn't what Jack?"

Jack ran both hands through his hair and groaned.

"Oh, relax," John assured him, "Nothing happened. You were drunk, I put you to bed and then you passed out. I thought I'd better stay in case you swallowed your tongue or something."

Jack let out a breath.

"Phew," he gasped, "That's a relief." He lifted up the duvet and looked underneath it, "Just one thing though, did we both need to be buck naked?"

"It's nothing I haven't seen before."

"Well yeah, I know but that was before. We've both moved on since then."

"Have we, though Jack." John gave his ex a pointed look.

"I thought we had."

John sat up, "Come back to America with me. No, hear me out," he went on, cutting off Jack's reply. "You've made your little protest, the American people are suitably chastised and you've got nothing keeping you here anymore."

Jack snorted.

"Erm, aren't you forgetting someone, two someone's actually." He pointed in the direction of his daughter's room.

"Ah, about that."

"What, John. What do you know?"

"She tried to tell you, honestly she did, but well you know how protective you are of her."

"Tell me," Jack growled.

"Look don't go all avenging Dad on us," John said, "but that waste of a space of a boyfriend of hers has been in touch. Don't get me wrong, I'm with you, but they are both of the opinion that a baby needs two parents and to cut a long story short she is moving back to Scotland next week."

Jack sat up, pulled his knees up to his chest and buried his face in his hands. He made a groaning sound and fought back tears. John rubbed his back.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I know how you feel."

"It was just so good having her here. We haven't spent as much time together since she was at school, when she used to come and stay with us in the holidays; and then there's Stephen. I'm going to miss him so much."

"But the world is a much smaller place these days Jack. There's email and webcams and international telephone calls and travel is easier than ever. Now you've got to know her again, you won't lose touch. Whether you're a few hundred miles away in Wales or a thousand miles away in America, it's not going to make that much difference."

"Can we talk about this later?" Jack asked. "I'll think about it John. Really I will but not today. Today I just want to make sure Melissa knows what she is doing."

* * *

_Gwen and Jack, via telephone, 10.30am_

"He's getting what!?"

* * *

_Jack and Tosh, via telephone, 10.45am_

"He's getting what!?"

* * *

_Tosh and Owen, Tosh's kitchen table, 10.50am_

"He's getting what!?"

* * *

_Johnny and Rhys, stadium changing rooms, early Monday Morning._

"He's getting what!?"

Rhys looked nervously over to where Ianto was stepping out of the shower, rubbing his hair with a towel.

"Shh," he whispered, "he'll hear you. I said he's getting married."

"Fucking hell. No wonder he's been avoiding Rhiannon all weekend. She's gonna bloody kill him."

* * *

_Johnny and Rhiannon, Rhiannon's house, later Monday morning._

"WHERE IS HE, I'M GONNA BLOODY KILL HIM!"


	31. Start at the End

Ianto winced. He held the phone away from his ear but couldn't escape his sister's screeching.

"Ianto," she shrieked. "Are you even listening to me? What the hell are you thinking?"

He bit his bottom lip and raised his eyes to the ceiling. He didn't want to see Rhiannon forced to lie if the immigration authorities came calling, so he'd have to try and convince her that he was actually in love with Jay. He just wasn't sure he could do it.

"I love him, Rhi," he lied, "What's the problem?"

"You haven't known him five minutes."

"You haven't known Johnny much longer."

"That's different."

"Why," he spat, "because you're straight?"

"No," Rhiannon yelled, "Don't you dare try to make this about prejudice. It's different because I'm older. Why don't you wait a while eh?"

"I'm sorry. I can't."

"Well I'm sorry too, but I can't pretend to be happy about it."

"So, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying if you insist on going through with it, I won't be there."

"Fine. Whatever." Ianto's voice raised an octave or two as he struggled to stay calm. "You've been holding me back for years anyway."

He ignored the barely audible gasp from the other end of the telephone and slammed down the receiver.

* * *

_You have 10 new messages, to listen to your messages press 1_

_Message 1: _"Hey, Ianto, it's Jack. I just want to make sure you're okay. Please pick up if you're there. Okay, I guess you're not there. I know it's none of my business, oh hell I don't even know why I'm calling....just, I'm here if you need me, yeah?

_Message 2: _"Ianto, it's Rhys. How ya doing. Gwen's worried ab..OW!, what did you do that for, what do you mean, hang on Ianto I'll call you back."

_Message 3: _"Sorry about that. Okay, _**I'm**_ worried about you. Call me back. Oh, and Gwen says she's worried too."

_Message 4: "_Ianto, as you're doctor, I think we need to talk about this. No judgements, I promise. We need to have a discussion about adjusting your medication again anyway. Come and see me on Monday and that's an order."

Message 5: "I don't give a fuck who you marry, but call your sister. She cried herself to sleep last night. You know, I love you man, but there is no way I'm standing by and watching you hurt my fiancée."

_Message 6: _"Ianto....I'm sorry, really. Talk to me, please. Me and you against the world, remember."

_Message 7: "_Hey, how y' doing lover. Just want to say thanks, for everything. I know it's not easy but I'll make it up to you, I promise. The registry office said they can fit us in six weeks."

_Message 8: _Ianto. Just ringing to say hi. Is it my turn to host chess night this week, let me know because I can't remember?"

_Message 9: "_Hey, it's Tosh again_; _I've just heard your news. Why didn't you tell me? I'm a bit confused because I thought you loved Jack. Call me!"

_Message 10: _"You know I never had you down as a heartless bastard. Ring your sister, now. This is not cool, man."

Ianto pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. He stared at the phone, his hand wavering over the message delete button. Finally he picked up the receiver and dialled his sister's phone number.

* * *

Rhiannon still wasn't happy, but at least Ianto was talking to her again. She made herself a cup of tea and sat down, pondering what her brother had told her. Ianto had never been able to lie to her, even when he was hiding himself from her. Although he could avoid telling her the truth, he couldn't lie and it was clear he was lying now, but why? Finally, she made a decision and setting her jaw she rang Rhys.

"Rhys. It's Rhiannon, Ianto's sister."

"Rhiannon, what can I do for you?"

"I want to know about this Australian bloke."

"Sorry, Rhi. I don't know any more than you do. Ianto won't talk to me about it, he's not returning my calls and he's avoiding me at work now."

"We need to do something, Rhys." Rhiannon fretted.

"I know, I agree but what can we do."

"I don't know, but I'm going to do something. I think we should get together so we can talk about it. Could you do me a favour and phone Owen and that Japanese girl Ianto's so fond of, you and Gwen too of course, oh and Jack. This wedding is not happening. Not if I can do anything to stop it."

* * *

Once the formal introductions were over, Rhiannon opened the proceedings by asking what it was that Jay was holding over Ianto to force him to marry him.

"No, it's not that," Jack said, "I don't like Jay but Ianto does. He's just trying to help the guy out."

"What do you mean?" Rhiannon asked.

Owen rolled his eyes. "Surely, it's obvious." He said, "It's an immigration scam."

Rhiannon hit her forehead with the heel of her hand, "Bloody Hell, of course it is. How did I not realise that." She wrung her hands together. "Oh god, he's going to be in big trouble if he gets found out. He could go to prison."

"Shush," Johnny said, "It won't come to that. We'll make sure of it."

"Shit, I wish he'd never met that guy." Rhiannon scowled.

"Well, we all know who's fault that is, don't we, Jack." Rhys sneered.

"Yeah, we do." Jack growled, "the idiot who led him to believe I was having an affair."

"You like to think so. But if you'd just explained it all to him in the first place, he wouldn't have gone all 'crazy Ianto' on us, would he?"

Jack stood up, furiously stabbing his finger at Rhys. "You're not so fucking innocent yourself. Gwen told me what happened after I left that night. If you hadn't turned your back on him when he needed you most...."

"Yeah?" Rhys stood up too, invading Jack's body space so their noses were almost touching.

"Rhys!" Gwen warned.

"Stay out of this, Gwen," he barked, not taking his eyes from Jack. "I might not be proud of everything I did that night, but one thing I didn't do....."

"Rhys," Gwen squealed. She grabbed hold of her husband's arm, trying to pull him away. "Come on, don't do this." She glanced nervously towards Rhiannon.

"What?" Rhiannon asked no-one in particular, "what don't I know?"

Tosh and Owen looked down at their feet and Gwen gave Rhiannon a pleading look, silently begging her not to continue this line of questioning. Jack and Rhys continued to glare at each other.

"TELL ME, NOW!" Rhiannon yelled.

Rhys leered. "Remember that black eye Ianto had a few months ago," he said, "What did he tell you, Rhi? Accident on the field was it. Shall we tell her what really happened, Jack?"

Rhiannon looked from Jack to Rhys, her mind mulling over what Rhys was trying to say. As Jack floundered, trying to think of a response, her enraged voice cut through the uncomfortable silence.

"Hit him, Rhys," she snarled.

Rhys didn't wait to be asked twice. He drew back his arm and punched the American in the face. Jack staggered backwards but didn't fall down. Instinctively he sprang on the balls of his feet and grabbed at Rhys' shirt, drawing back his arm and preparing to land a punch. Quick as a flash Johnny demonstrated the sharp reflexes he had honed on the rugby pitch, gripping Jack's wrist and forcing his arm behind his back. He then spun him around, opened the front door and threw him out into the street.

* * *

Jack was still growling and muttering to himself when he reached home.

"John, were the fuck are you?" He yelled, slamming the door behind him.

John appeared almost immediately, holding out a glass of wine and smiling. He recognised one of Jack's moods and knew exactly how to deal with it.

"Here, take this and go sit down. Take off your socks and shoes and I'll give you a foot rub."

Jack visibly relaxed.

"How do you always know the right thing to say?" he asked.

"Years of practice. Now come on; go do as you're told."

Jack wondered if it wouldn't be such a bad idea to go back with John. He was heartily sick of stubborn, pig headed welsh people and now John was doing marvellous things to his feet, it gave him the push he needed to make a decision.

"You know what?" he said, "I think we should go home, the sooner the better."

By the time the two men fell into bed, Jack felt like he was home all ready. Now, if only he could get rid of that nagging little voice in the back of his head everything would be perfect.

* * *

Jack woke up to a cold bed.

He yawned and stretched. He'd finally made the decision to give up on his obsession with a certain Welshman, an obsession that had made him miserable for far too long. He pulled back the covers and quickly donned a tee-shirt and boxers to go in search of his lover.

The smell of coffee hit him from the top of the stairs. He knew as soon as the rich aroma hit his nostrils that it would be no substitute for Ianto's coffee but it would be the best he'd had since he'd broken up with the coffee making genius. When he pushed open the kitchen door he knew immediately that something was wrong. He frowned.

"What is it, John?"

John gave him a tight smile.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I've changed my mind."

"What, what do you mean you've changed your mind."

"I mean I've changed my mind. I love you, Jack and I always will but it's not me you want. Last night confirmed that for me. "

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, don't worry. You're technique was fine, just like it always was. It was a great fuck Jack, but your heart wasn't in it. It was like finding an old pair of slippers that you fit right back in to, it was comfortable but it wasn't passionate."

"I......"

"Why are you here with me," John interrupted, "when it's obviously him you want?"

"It's not that easy, he doesn't want me?"

John banged his fist on the table.

"Damn it, Jack. We both know that's not true. I saw the way you were looking at each other at that Welsh Git's party."

Jack eyes hardened.

"Okay, fine. He wants me." His face softened as he went on, "It's just.....difficult."

"Isn't everything that's worth having?"

Jack flopped down on to a chair and leaned over the table, burying his head in his arms. John stroked his hair and went on in a softer voice.

"What is it? Tell me. Why is it difficult?"

"I said some awful things to him and," he looked up into John's eyes pleading understanding. He gulped. "I hit him."

John gasped.

"I knew you'd be shocked."

"Okay that's bad but I'm guessing he forgave you. So what else is stopping you from going round there right now and playing the goddamn romantic hero?"

Jack rested his head in his hands and rubbed his face.

"He's.........special."

"Special as in the one special, or special as in a gimp special."

"Fuck, John. Don't be so fucking offensive. Both as it happens. I meant he's .....I don't know........delicate, I suppose. He needs a lot of love and attention and I'm not sure I can give it to him. I've messed with his head too far much as it is."

"And have you asked him how he feels about that. Let's stop using polite euphemisms, shall we? What are you trying to tell me, is he a basket case or something because he strikes me as someone perfectly able to make his own decisions."

Jack sighed in defeat.

"You're probably right." He said.

"Okay, that's two excuses shot down in flames, is there anything else?"

"Yeah, there's Jay."

"Now you're not making any sense, J as in the letter J."

"No, John," Jack shook his head and rolled his eyes, "the blond Australian. Always looks as if he should be carrying a surfboard with him."

"Ah, him. Very nice. I'll say one thing for that boy of yours, he's got taste."

"They're getting married in a few weeks."

"Oh. Now that is a big hurdle. I didn't realise it was serious."

"It's not. At least I don't think it is, it's more about giving Jay leave to stay in this country."

John grinned wolfishly.

"Well, why didn't you say so? In that case, it's not a problem, no problem at all."

"What do you mean, what are you scheming?"

"Don't you worry you're pretty little head about it, Jack. You leave Jay to me. Get yourself to work and by the time you come home it will all be sorted."

"You're not going to do anything stupid are you?"

"Me?" John laughed, "When have you ever known me do anything stupid?"

* * *

When Jack got back from work later that day, he found John's bags all ready packed in his hallway.

"You're leaving?" he asked.

"I'm going back to London, tonight. I've got to get back to work anyway, oh and your problem with Jay? Sorted."

When John told him what he had done, Jack grinned from ear to ear and John returned it with a smug smile of his own.

"Go, get him tiger." He smirked.

* * *

After Jack saw John off, the first thing he did was dial Ianto's mobile number. When it went straight to voicemail he pressed the call end button and dialled his house number instead. After several rings the answer machine kicked in and he left a message, barely able to keep the excitement from his voice.

"Ianto, it's Jack. I erm. O hell, Ianto I want you and I know you want me, I'm gonna come find you, right now. I don't care where you are; I promise we are going to sort this out tonight. I love you."

Jack snapped his phone shut.

"Oh bravo, Harkness," he said to himself. "because that didn't sound at all stalkerish."

He rang Gwen.

"Gwen, do you know where Ianto is. Is he with Rhys?"

"Jack what's wrong, you sound out of breath, have you been running."

_Come on, Jack. Not cool, try to calm down_.

"Erm, no. I just need to see Ianto, do you know where he is?"

"Yes, actually. He's gone to London for a few days. It's something to do with the Olympics, a press conference or something."

"Damn it!" _Oh well, a promise is a promise_. "Do you know where he's staying?"

* * *

Ianto sat in the hotel bar, his head spinning from the day's events. In his excitement about being asked to represent first time Olympians at a press conference, he'd completely forgotten he hated being the centre of attention. Still, it could have been worse. It's not as if he was the only person there and the camaraderie between athletes both past and present was uplifting. He was currently enjoying a quiet drink with a guy named Archie, a retired hurdler from Scotland. He had a talent for telling anecdotes which rivalled Jack's and Ianto wondered if it was a trait shared by all Glaswegians.

Archie liked the kid. He'd heard the rumours, of course he had, and he knew they were more than likely true, but he wasn't going to hold it against him. He was good company, funny and self effacing. He laughed in all the right places and listened attentively to Archie's stories, politely deferring to the older man. In Archie's opinion this kind of respect for their elders was something sadly lacking in the youth of today. The Scot was a man who made up his mind about a person almost immediately and he was very rarely wrong. That's why what happened next totally floored him. The young man jumped up from the table in the middle of a very funny anecdote and took off like he'd seen a ghost.

* * *

Jack thought about recreating the famous scene from Flashdance, he really did. For about 5 seconds. Then he remembered that not only did Ianto hate overt public displays, he was also at least 50 pounds heavier than Jennifer Beals. He gathered him up in his arms instead and sighed contentedly as he breathed in his scent.

"Ianto." He whispered, holding his beautiful Welshman in his arms. "Oh Ianto. It's always been you, only you. I love you."

Ianto's eyes filled with tears. "I love you too." .

The two men stared at each other; eyes dancing with emotion until a cough somewhere to Jack's right brought them back to reality.

"What are you doing here?" Ianto asked.

"I....I had to come." Jack stuttered, "I made you a promise."

"What do you mean, what promise?"

"Oh yeah, about that. Might be best if you didn't listen to your messages when you get back."

"Look," Ianto said, "You're not making any sense. Come and sit down and have a drink. I'll introduce you to Archie then we can talk later."

He led Jack over to the table and motioned for him to sit down.

"Sorry about that, Archie, I didn't mean to run out on you like that. This is my, erm....friend, Jack. I was a bit surprised to see him."

"Yes, I got that laddie. Pleased to meet you Jack."

The two men shook hands.

"Nice to meet a fellow Scot." Jack grinned, turning on the charm. "Don't let the accent fool you, I'm a Gorbals lad myself."

* * *

"Bloody Hell," Ianto laughed, "I thought he'd never leave. I dropped enough hints."

He'd spent the last hour listening to Jack and Archie relate anecdotes, each tale getting taller and taller as the two men competed for the strangest and most bizarre Scottish saga. In Ianto's opinion the strangest thing about Jack's stories was how they were recounted in a Scottish brogue which got more and more pronounced as the night wore on.

"I know, I'm sorry." Jack smiled, "I couldn't resist. I loved growing up in America but my first love is still Scotland."

Ianto placed his hand over Jack's on the table.

"You still haven't told me why you're here," he said.

"I know. I had a whole speech worked out on the ride over, but now I'm here I don't know where to start."

"Just start at the beginning then."

"The beginning?" Jack shook his head, "No Ianto, not the beginning. The beginning was too messed up. The way we got started, the things we did to each other, the lies and the half truths. Let's not start at the beginning, let's start at the end instead."

"Okay. So where does this story end?" Ianto asked.

"Where you'd like it to end, I hope." Jack raised his eyes to Ianto's.

"It's not that easy, though is it? There's Jay to consider...and John."

"Not anymore." Jack grinned. "We don't have to worry about either of them."

"Jack! Please stop talking in riddles. What are you going on about?"

"Let's just say, I reckon those two are going to be very happy together and once Jay get's his work permit sorted, he's going to love California."

Ianto's head shot up and his mouth dropped open. For one horrible moment Jack thought the younger man was going to cry. He wondered if he'd got it all wrong. Had Ianto been wanting to marry Jay after all? Did he let his own fantasy of having the Welshman all to himself cloud his judgement? He leaned forward.

"Ianto, I...."

Slowly, Ianto's face morphed into a shy smile and Jack sunk back into his seat in relief.

"You know," Ianto spoke raising his eyebrows, "I've still got that stopwatch if you're interested."

"Yeah? So."

"Think about it, lots of things you can do with a stopwatch."

Jack's nose wrinkled as he frowned in concentration.

"Huh?"

"There's quite a list." The Welshman continued.

Jack shook his head and shrugged.

"I'm sorry Ianto, I'm just not getting it," he scratched his head. "What are you trying to say?"

Ianto rolled his eyes. "Just take me upstairs and fuck me, Jack"

Jack laughed. "Ah, now why didn't you say that in the first place?"

He grabbed the Welshman's hand, pulling him out of his seat and shouting "room number?" over his shoulder. Ianto gave an apologetic look to an elderly lady who looked like she was about to have an apoplexy.

"456." He muttered under his breath, as he was dragged along in the direction of the hotel lift.

When the lift door pinged open on Ianto's floor a hen party of girls, resplendent in fairy wings and pink, fur lined cowboy hats, were treated to a floor show involving two incredibly hot men passionately kissing each other. The dark haired one was pressing the other one against the lift wall, one hand clenching his buttocks while the other loosened his tie.

The girls cheered and whistled.

"Excellent," one of them yelled, "you did hire strippers after all."

Ianto jumped, bumping his head on the wall while Jack turned and gave them his best Harkness leer.

"Sorry ladies," he said, taking the younger man's hand and pulling him along in his wake. "I'd love to stop and chat but my boyfriend and I have a lot of catching up to do."


	32. Epilogue

Jack used his key to let himself into Ianto's apartment building. He stopped dead in his tracks as he walked into the old lady from downstairs brandishing a rolled up newspaper at him.

"Ow," he yelled, throwing up his arms to protect his head. "Mrs Johnson, please. We've been through this."

"Ianto. Told. Me. Not. To. Let. You. In," she shrilled, punctuating each word with a whack from the paper.

"I know," Jack pleaded, "but that was months ago. Look, he gave me a key."

"Hey Mrs Johnson," said a voice from the open doorway, "what's up."

The old lady gave Jack another whack before turning to speak to the newcomer. "Oh Hello, Rhys," she said, "how's that lovely wife of yours."

"Oh you know Gwen, fit as ever," He tried to keep a straight face as she resumed her attack.

"Goddamn it," Jack grunted, "will you please tell her to stop hitting me."

Rhys chuckled "It's okay, Mrs Johnson" he said "he's with me." He put an arm around her shoulders and led her back to her front door. Just before she disappeared into her flat she turned around and made an "I'm watching you" gesture at Jack. He growled at her.

"Gee thanks, Rhys" he said, "little sooner next time though, yeah?"

Rhys smirked. After a second or two, Jack rolled his eyes and smiled back, shaking his head affectionately. While not exactly best buddies Jack and Rhys had come to an understanding and they were happy to concede they both just wanted what was best for Ianto.

"Where is the lovely Mrs Williams anyway?"

"She's upstairs with Ianto. She's been helping Tosh get him ready all afternoon."

When they reached Ianto's flat, Jack opened the door and stood back to let Rhys in.

He indicated for the other man to go sit in the lounge while he went in search of his young lover. He knocked on the bedroom door and entered without waiting for an answer, suppressing a guffaw at the sight that met him. Ianto was sitting at his desk while Gwen was giving him a manicure and Tosh was running a pair of straighteners through his hair.

"So this is what you three get up to when the rest of us aren't around." Jack chuckled.

The young Welshman had grown quite close to both girls in recent months and they regularly socialised, both with and without their respective partners. Jack suspected that on the odd occasion when his work sent him half way around the world to investigate some amazing find, (which nine times out of ten turned out to be a random piece of flotsam or jetsam,) the three of them had week-long slumber parties, telling each other scary stories, making dens out of duvets, playing spin the bottle and now it appears, giving each other makeovers too.

Jack sat down on the bed and the movement caused the jewel encrusted handcuffs hanging from the bedstead to rattle noisily. He smirked, catching Ianto's eye and raising his eyebrows suggestively. Ianto blushed and looked away but couldn't help a small smile escaping his lips. The girls burst out laughing.

"Oh god," Ianto moaned, "when you've done making fun of my love life."

"They're just jealous," Jack grinned, "by the way, Mrs Johnson attacked me again."

"Oh, shit. Jack I'm sorry. I'll talk to her. Mind you, I think it might be easier if I just moved. I need somewhere bigger anyway."

"S'okay. She's just trying to look out for you. Is Rhiannon going to be there tonight?"

"Of course, she's my sister."

"Sorry ," Jack said, trying not to sound too petulant, "it's just she hates me."

"She doesn't," Ianto assured him, "Not really. Or at least, no more than your daughter hates me."

Jack sighed. It was a conversation they'd had many times and the one thing they both agreed upon is life would be pretty much perfect if it wasn't for their families.

"How are you feeling," he asked, changing the subject, "not nervous or anything?"

"Why would I be nervous?"

"Ianto," Jack scolded, "I won't allow you to do this."

"Do what?"

"Make out that it's not a big deal."

"Oh," the young Welshman laughed, "It's not a big deal though is it. I seem to remember you calling it a crappy local paper once."

"A crappy local paper read by 95% of Cardiff's population and they are the ones voting in this thing."

"Yes, but you know as well as I do the only reason I was even nominated for Cardiff's Sports Personality of the Year is because of a viral campaign by a few dozen hysterical women."

"No, that's what the paper want you to believe. The truth is you were nominated because a lot of people read you're blog and they like you."

"Maybe. By the way, I got an email from Jay this morning."

"Really? How is he? Is he seeing anyone new?"

"It's okay, you know, you can ask."

Jack smiled. "I'm sorry. I just didn't want you to feel jealous or think I minded whether or not he was still with John."

"You were with John for a long time before me," Ianto said, "I'd be surprised if you didn't still care if he was happy."

Jack nodded. "So......"

"Jay wants us to go over for the wedding in the summer."

Jack's mouth dropped open, "No!"

Ianto laughed. "No, you idiot. I was joking. Could you really see Jay settling down with anybody, never mind John. When his work permit is up, he's going to move on. South America he thinks but he hasn't decided yet." Ianto paused, "John is seeing someone though." He raised his eyes to Jack's. For a moment he was worried about what he would see there but he was relieved to see no regret or jealousy reflected in the American's gaze.

"Good. I'm glad." Jack smiled, "I only hope this new guy makes him as happy as you make me. Now come on you three or we are going to be late."

* * *

The award ceremony presenter opened the envelope and smiled. "And the winner is," he paused and leaned into the microphone, "Cardiff Blues Full Back, Ianto Jones.

Ianto was stunned.

Jack leaned over and whispered in his ear. "Erm, that's you," he said.

"Oh bloody hell," the young Welshman squeaked, "that's me."

"Yeah, I know. That's what I said. Go on then."

Ianto accepted the award and walked over to the podium nervously. He coughed. "Erm. Wow. Gosh. Thanks." he stuttered, "I don't know what to say. I haven't really prepared anything."

Rhys stood up and yelled, "liar!"

"Oh. Okay. Ha," Ianto took a thick wad of A4 sheets out of his suit pocket, "maybe I did prepare a little something" he said, "but ya know what?" He threw the sheets up in the air and they landed around the podium like confetti. "screw that. I'd rather just use this opportunity to say thanks to some people." He looked down at the table where the journalists and publishers from the paper were sitting. "Hey, Mr Brigstocke," he cheered, as if he'd just spotted the reporter, "I don't know if you've heard, but apparently I'm gay." He smiled broadly like an excited puppy and a few audience members started to snicker. "No seriously though, David. No hard feelings, eh? What is done is done and for what it's worth I'm glad it's out there. So thanks, but do me a favour and keep out of my life from now on."

The audience clapped and Ianto waited until the reaction had died down before continuing.

"It's been a tough year but things worked out in the end and that's mostly due to my sister and my friends so I'd like to say thanks to you all. To Owen, thanks for helping me with my demons. I really couldn't have done it without you, mate and I know you'll say you we're just doing your job but we both know you went above and beyond, so cheers. To the guys in the team, thanks for your support, especially Rhys and Johnny..."

"We love you, man." Johnny shouted.

"Yeah, thanks Johnny. By the way, hurt my sister and I'll hunt you down and kill you........slowly. To my sister, Rhiannon. We didn't have the best start in life, did we sis, but you made it bearable and if I had to go through it, I'm glad I went through it with you." Rhiannon wiped a tear from her eye and Johnny put her arm around her, resting her head on his shoulder. "To Gwen" Ianto continued, "who turned out to be a much better friend than she was an enemy, I'd like to say I'm sorry I wasted so much time being jealous of you and I hope you've forgiven me. To Tosh, I will be eternally grateful to Jack for bringing you in to my life. And finally," Ianto went on, "To Jack..." his face took on a dreamy look, "lovely Jack. What can I say, except........I love you." He took a deep breath before continuing. "You know Jack, when I said earlier I needed a bigger place," he leaned forward into the microphone and smiled. "your place is quite big isn't it." He held the award high, left the stage and made his way back to the table. The audience cheered as Jack met him half way and wrapped his arms around him.

"So," Jack beamed, "you wanna move in with me or what?"

"I dunno, Jack," the Welshman grinned, "let me think about it."


End file.
